Sleepy & Horny - Oh The Dilemma

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Where's My Spanking?

So here I am snuggled up in bed with my laptop. Yes, DH is home. No, we are not having any fun tonight.

Earlier this evening there had been a definite mention of a good girl spanking. After feeling like crap yesterday, I got up this morning and did all laundry including bath rugs and our comforter; made the bed; dusted the bedroom furniture; cleaned up in the bathroom (DH's side was a mess); cleared away some piles; cleaned up my closet; vacuumed our bedroom, bathroom, bedroom office, upstairs landing, and YC's bedroom. While I worked inside, DH was hard at work outside planting bulbs and raking. Mixed in with all our hard work was constant pushing at the kids to get their assigned chores done. All in all, a tiring day.

While working on dinner, I mentioned to hubby how much work I'd done and the spanking conversation started.

"I'll have to check, and if it's not clean like I like it, you'll get a spanking." Said with a big grin on his face.

"And if it is good, I'll get a good girl spanking." Said with much hope and excitement.

"A good girl spanking? Yeah... and some good sex."

So I'm cleaning up after dinner, doing the last bit of laundry, making sure everything's done, and DH comes upstairs, reclines on the bed to watch TV, and falls asleep. AAAAGGGGGHHHHH.

(I shouldn't complain too much as last night we did have sex -- I was fingered to orgasm, then told to get in position where I received a small spanking before he entered me; it didn't take long for my first orgasm, then another, then he pulled out and entered me anally, where I orgasmed again. And all while I still wasn't feeling 100% well.)

Now I'm going to have to try and collect on the promise, and this is not the first time a spanking has been promised and never received. I just don't seem to be able to get him to understand what it means to me to have him spank me. (Wish I could get him to read some of the other blogs out there...) Just have to keep reminding myself "four day weekend, four day weekend" and hope I get what I need.

DH is Home

DH got home yesterday from his most recent trip (France, Denmark & Sweden). We're taking it easy this weekend as he's tired from travelling & I'm suffering some unusual aches and pains (if they're still around tomorrow, it's off to the doctor I go on Monday). Plus we have a four-day weekend coming up.

He did share a little gem with me:

While in France, in the hotel, he turned on the TV, and what did he see?

Spanking!!

He has no idea of the movie (he doesn't speak, read, or understand French), but he watched the man spank the woman with a ping-pong paddle, and then they switched and she spanked him. And he found himself excited enough by the movie to, well, you know....

This is amusing to me, as DH is constantly telling me that he only enjoys spanking because he is spanking me and he loves any contact at all that he can have with my backside. I think he still has some denial issues about the whole spanking and dominance thing and is uneasy with the thought that he really does enjoy controlling me and doing things to me that (obviously) cause pain. I can understand -- it took me a while to accept that I'm a submissive and a spanko, and I had several months head start. And it's certainly not considered PC or feminist-minded to want these things (although we do notice more and more references and comments about spanking and BDSM in mainstream shows, magazines, & books).

I know switching was Bonnie's MBS Brunch last week, that I just didn't get a chance to comment on, but I can state here that DH has stated in no uncertain terms that I will NEVER spank him, that he's the spanker, not the spankee and never will be. And that's fine with me. I do sometimes wonder what it might be like to be the top, but if it were ever to happen it would be more as a role-play than any sort of way of life. I know it works for some people, it's just not right for me and DH.

So, it's been weeks since the last spanking, and it doesn't like any this weekend, probably not til next weekend, but who knows, if I'm lucky DH may decide he just needs to ... Of course, I'll let you know.

Meme: Me A to Z

Just for fun, and to take up some space, thought I'd share this. Found it on another blog, just can't remember which right now (still fighting zombie-itis).

Available or Single? Neither – monogamously married.

Best Friends? My hubby

Cake or Pie? Cake, usually

Drink of Choice? Non-alcoholic – water, followed closely by Dr. Pepper
Alcoholic – White Russian, Chocolate Martini, Mojito

Essential Item? Laptop, books, water

Favorite Color? Emerald green

Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears

Hometown? Somewhere in the U.S.

Indulgence? Books & high-quality European chocolates, staying up late & sleeping in

January or February? February, cuz spring is in sight

Kids & Names? I have 3, known to those who read my blogs as Oldest Child (OC), Middle Child (MC), & Youngest Child (YC)

Life is Incomplete Without? Special people to share it with

Marriage Date? 8 June 1993

Number of Siblings? 3 – 1 sister, 2 brothers – all younger

Oranges or Apples? Apples (but absolutely not Red Delicious – yuck, yuck, yuck)

Phobias/Fears? Falling, not heights (6” and shaky is just as bad as 60’ & shaky, but 600’ and secure/stable is no problem)

Favorite Quote? Writing & reading is to me synonymous with existing. – Gertrude Stein

Reasons to Smile? Beautiful weather, silly kids, good books, a lazy day, blissful sex

Tag 3 People? Nope, do it if you want to

Unknown Fact About Me? I was not born in the U.S.

Vegetable You Hate? Brussel sprouts

Worst Habit? Letting things pile up (drives my hubby crazy)

X-rays You’ve Had? Left hand, head

Your Favorite Foods? Chocolate, apples, peanut butter M&Ms, good steak

Zodiac? Sagittarius

Still Here ...

Just checking in. I will post something spanking related later this week, but in the meantime, if you want to read about my crazy last week, I've posted about it on my other blog Robin's Nesting Spot. I'm just too freaking tired to repeat it all here, especially since it's not even remotely spanking related (except for how it relates to not getting any spankings, or anything else , for the last week).

A Whole Week Gone!

Can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. I've started a couple of posts, saved the drafts, but haven't finished them.

When DH travels I have a very hard time sleeping -- I usually stay up til the wee hours reading, playing computer games, and/or watching TV. You'd think I could use the time to blog, but that requires too much mental effort at 1am (or later).

Also when he's not here, neither is my inspiration.

The two extra long work days didn't help either (2 hours drive each way, then hours of mostly boring meetings in very uncomfortable chairs). I had to get up an hour earlier than usual each day -- miserable. Then being two days out of the office meant extra tough days Thursday and Friday as I tried, and failed, to get caught up. And by end of day Friday my back was killing me.

Saturday I got up, went to the chiro then came home and cleaned house in preparation for DH coming home. He got home after 9pm and we were both too tired to go out, or have any other fun. Sunday was relaxing, with just a couple of errands to run -- DH spent most of it napping.

So, now it's a new week, and it's going to be even crazier than last week. Tomorrow is end of month, usually a long day, but since it's also the day before physical inventory, there will be even more work. Then Wednesday & Thursday (and possibly Friday) I'm supposed to be at work at 4:30 am (not a typo -- a.m. as in the black before the sun even wakes up morning), and since it's an hour drive to work, I'll be up at 3 and leaving at 3:30. If I'm starting that earlier, I must be getting off early, right? Wrong. I'm in charge of tag control, which means as long as counting is going on, I need to be there controlling tags, and last I heard they don't expect to stop until 6pm. DH will be taking our youngest trick-or-treating (she doesn't understand why mommy can't do it).

I am going to be very close to dead on Saturday.

So, while I may peek in on other blogs, and check my stats here, don't be surprised if another week goes by before I get a spanking related post on here.

Tinkering and Fires

Nothing's wrong with your computer or your vision. I've been tweaking the template for my blog, changing widths, removing graphics, changing to blogrolling for my list of blogs I've linked to. For the time being I will keep both my old and new lists on the blog, as they're not exactly identical.


For any of my readers in SoCal -- my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how frightening it is to have to evacuate in the face of wildfires, having been there myself. I hope you are safe and protected and finding comfort, and if you have had to evacuate, that you will soon be able to return home (and find it still standing and undamaged).

DH Knows Revisited

I have received a couple of comments on this post and just feel like I need to say more.

Why didn’t I tell DH at the outset what I was doing? Two reasons: 1. I am a little apprehensive about what his response might be to some of what I’ve written (although I do think that overall it has been positive); and 2. He just won’t get it.

1. I love my husband (I think that’s come through very clear), but we are very different in quite a few ways and these differences have, in the past, led to some major, relationship threatening, misunderstandings. I find that I can say something, meaning ‘a’ to me, and DH hears ‘1’ and gets all worked up, becoming very accusatory and offensive. I, of course, take this all personally, and usually end of crying and at a loss because I’ve done nothing to warrant the accusations. We’ve discovered that taking the time to write down what we are thinking and feeling, generally in emails, helps us communicate much better than we do face-to-face. The writing, I believe, gives us each a chance to really think about what we’re feeling/thinking/meaning as well as a chance to write it out as clearly as possible, and then gives us the time to ponder our response.

Based on this background, obviously I would have concerns that he might read one small piece of one post and get all worked up, without bothering to go further and put it all in the context of the entire blog. However, if he really wants to read what I write, I have no problem providing him with the address, etc. so that he can do so. I would just have to be ready to face whatever his reading stirs up. (Forewarned is forearmed).

Also, DH goes back and forth on the whole spanking thing. He gives the attitude that it’s not his thing, that he’s only doing it for me, and that I am way too obsessed with it, but when I push him a bit, he will confide that he does enjoy spanking me and that he finds it very exciting. Given his inner conflict and discomfort about all things spanking, he might not be so thrilled to find me relating our experiences in explicit detail.

2. DH is neither a reader nor a writer. I don’t think in all our years together that I have ever seen him read a novel (he’s says he did when he was younger, but I don’t have any evidence to support this). He rarely even reads for what might be termed ‘fun’ – not related to work or school, but something he’s interested in. He gets a few magazines on various topics, and seems to read some of them. The last book that he just read was non-fiction about health.

Since reading and writing are not things he enjoys, he really cannot understand my need to do these things. I am a voracious reader – sci-fi, fantasy, contemporary, historical, adventure, fiction, non-fiction, magazines – pretty much anything I can get my hands on (as proven by the overflowing shelves and teetering piles in our bedroom). And, I think, for some people, writing just goes hand in hand with reading. I have stories and poems that I have written starting in elementary school. I never had any issues with writing all through school, whether it was fiction or non-fiction reports – and generally received good marks for whatever I wrote. And today, beyond, the blogs, I am still jotting down poetry, images, and stories that pop into my head.

I listen to a lot of music and have found some lyrics that describe this need to write, for me anyway:
o Fidelity by Regina Spektor – I hear in my mind all these voices, I hear in my mind all these words [Kinda make me sound psychotic :P]
o Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield – pretty much the whole song; I know it’s about life not being predetermined and making your own choices. But it describes the general practice of writing so well – pen in hand, blank page, not being able to find the words, reaching for something in the distance, no one else can do it for me, etc.
o Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick – It’s 2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song/If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,/Threatening the life it belongs to
I’m sure I could come up with others, given the time.

To finish up I’m going to share a ‘funny’ but true story about a ‘story’ I did write that DH saw.
Quite a long while ago, I had written a ‘story’ about a man and a woman in a hotel room, post-disciplinary spanking. Not being comfortable with others reading my writing (or really even having anyone to share with), this story was tucked away in a pile of other papers and magazines. Somehow, this one particular pad of paper ended up in the middle of our bed (I didn’t put it there, it wasn’t there when I left for work – and I was last out of the house that morning, and DH was first home – mystery) and of course, DH just had to pick it up and start reading. He got the absurd idea that this was my way of telling him I was having an affair. It took an incredible amount of talking on my part (trying not to snicker and snort at the ridiculousness) to get him to understand that it was just a story – nothing more, nothing less. And that I write all the time, about all sorts of things.

So, DH knows that I read and write, but he doesn’t understand my need, and the blogging falls right into this inability to understand. I am no longer hiding that I blog, and I share information about comments, other blogs I read, data from StatCounter, etc. And that seems to be all DH needs – for now, at least.

Friendly Reminder...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (at least in the U.S.) -- have you had your annual mammogram yet?

I did, just this past week. Believe me, it is not a pleasant experience to have your breasts pushed and pulled and placed just right, and then squashed. There's nothing quite like having a part of your body that you consider beautiful and sexy and sensual handled like so much meat (visits to the gyno are ickily similar). But it's only 5 - 10 minutes once a year. And considering that it just might save my life, it's an unpleasantness I'll put up with.

This was my third annual mammogram. And if you're doing the math (40 years old now minus 3 years = 37 at first mammogram), you're aware that I had my first one earlier than generally recommended. This is because my mom had breast cancer. She went through treatments (never even lost her hair) and has now been cancer free, and considered cured, for more than 10 years. I don't know whether the cancer was discovered during an annual mammogram or thru self-exam, but now that there is a family history (no other blood family members on either side that I know of have had breast cancer), plus I have a few other health issues that raise my risk, I'm not taking any chances. If it's going to happen, I would rather catch it earlier than later.


luv ur breasts So, ladies, if you haven't had your mammogram yet this year, get it done; and make sure to do your monthly self-exams.

Gentlemen, encourage the ladies in your life to get their mammogram. And those monthly exams, you might consider helping out with those, make them more fun than chore.

DH Knows

Well, DH knows I'm blogging. He doesn't quite understand 'blogging' but he understands that I am writing personal stuff and putting it on the Internet.

About a month ago I had mentioned that I was sure DH didn't know about this blog (Spanking Fanatic? Moi?). I was right -- he was basically clueless. But I thought he knew and was reading it but not saying anything to me (I don't know why he wouldn't say anything).

Why did I think this? Because of some of the information showing up in StatCounter. I was seeing hits in the morning from an IP/ISP that looked suspiciously like what I would think his work address would look like (and the referring link was suspicious, too). Then when he was out of town for work, in the late evening (when he'd be back in his hotel) I'd get hits from where he was.


And then little comments he made about 'red bottom' and 'readaholic' -- both terms that I associate with this blog.


So I'm going a little nuts, thinking he knows, but why isn't he saying anything, hashing over my posts trying to decide if I've said anything that he might be upset about. But I'm hoping it's not him, just a massive coincidence. So I kept track again when he went out of town, and the same thing happened -- no 'local' hits but 'travel' hits.


This past Saturday, while we were out, after a little liquid courage, I got the nerve up to say something to him. And it's not him! But now he's bugged out that someone he may know through work is reading what I write here. And it's not like he can go around asking if someone is reading his wife's spanking and sex blog ;D


And he's travelling again, and this time we're not seeing the pattern. So, we don't know, I don't want to know, don't really care who it is. Not likely I'm ever going to come into contact with them. I've tried to be careful on here to only give my name, no info about where we live (other than U.S.), where we work, family names, anything that might easily lead anyone to us.


And DH has decided he does not want to read my blogs, doesn't want to even know what they're called or what their addresses are. He has decided this because he is afraid that he might read something I've written that may upset or anger him. I have mixed feelings about this; if he reads it might help him understand me better, but if he doesn't like what I've written then I'm in for it. Oh, well. If he changes his mind and asks me, I'll give him the addresses.

Monday Fun

After my last post, I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally.

I made sure all the kids were in bed on time. I had exercised and cleaned up and got ready for bed.

When DH came in, I snuggled up to him. And gently began to caress him -- stomach, chest, thighs, legs, hips. Everywhere but 'there.' Eventually, he caught on and began to caress me in return. Usually, caressing by DH includes spanks, and such was the situation Monday night, after asking me if I wanted a spanking. I didn't say it, but thought, 'well, duh.' I did mention how his teasing Sunday night left me hot and bothered, and it just wasn't nice to leave me in that condition.

So we kissed and caressed and stroked and spanked until DH told me to remove my panties. I decided to do a little 'teasing' of my own while removing them -- I got on my knees, back to DH, and very slowly slid them down, while presenting my backside to him, with a few wiggles and back thrusts thrown in for good measure (DH loves my butt; he tells me this all the time -- I think his biggest worry if I were to ever lose my excess weight is that my butt will disappear). It wasn't long till DH was good and hard and I was good and wet, at which time I was told to get in position (on hands and knees at the edge of the bed). And I'm thinking, as I hasten to obey, 'Oh, goody, spanking time.'

Yep, yep, yep. And all hand. Not as long or as hard as I would have liked, but some deliberate spanking is much better than none at all. And it was a weeknight with work the next day, so I really couldn't expect something too long and drawn out .

And of course, no spanking is really complete (at least for us) unless it includes lots of caressing, kissing, licking, and fingering of various parts of my anatomy and is followed immediately by sex. Monday was no exception. DH caressed and kissed and licked my bottom, and caressed and stroked and fingered my pussy, and then he replaced his fingers with his cock. I am one of those rare and lucky women who can orgasm during intercourse without any direct clitoral stimulation (according to scientists only 30% can), so I did, orgasm, 3 times, I think. I get so lost in the sensations of sex, the in and out thrusts, the speed, the force, the press of DH's body against mine, that I can find it very difficult to keep count -- the number doesn't really matter to me, but it does to DH so I try to keep count.

DH would have liked to finish with anal, but not really being in the mood, I refused him. Sometimes, I just don't feel like it. DH seemed to be okay with my decision, as he kept thrusting, keeping me in that lovely sexual fog until he reached his peak and filled me with his special gift. (Ok, I know it's silly and flowery and trite, but I'm trying not to be too crude).

And after, we snuggled as we came down from our high and relaxed before going to sleep.

I got to mention to him how I had heard Dr. Oz on Oprah state that people should strive to have sex at least 4 times a week for optimal health (solo sex doesn't count, only partner sex). When he's home, we come pretty darn close. Unfortunately, he's out of town again (back on Friday, for the weekend), will be all next week including the weekend, and the following week he'll be home but we have a special project at work requiring extra long days starting at 4:30 a.m (I am so not a morning person). I don't anticipate much fun over the next few weeks. Darn it!

Teasing is Not Nice

I don't think I do any 'bratting' behaviours and when asked, DH says that in his opinion I don't. So, that being said, I'm starting to feel a little bratty.

Why, you ask.

Because DH is a teaser.

It's sooooooooo frustrating. He makes spanking comments, he gives a few good swats, and that's it.

Saturday play was limited as we were both too tired to get too worked up. And no action on Sunday, although there was teasing talk. About how would he reward me for exercising regularly (a good girl spanking); what would he do if I didn't keep up with the exercising (a bad girl spanking); a lot of 'masterspeak'; a random swat here and there.

And then last night, as I lay curled on my side, back to DH, he reached over and gave me several very firm spanks. I've got a Pavlovian response thing going on when he starts hand spanking me, especially in that position -- there is an immediate and strong reaction in my pussy. I can feel it immediately start swelling and with each spank I get wetter and more aroused. I know I am pushing my bottom back in expectation of the next spank. And I am really enjoying this, and he knows it.

And then he stops, rolls over, and goes to sleep. (I am constantly amazed at how quickly he can do that).

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I am now totally frustrated, and left with no choice but to take care of myself, as quietly and as still as possible, otherwise I will not be able to relax and fall asleep.

This was not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. If DH is too tired to follow through, I wish he wouldn't even start. Drives me crazy. And if he's thinking a spanking and sex is too much work, then, heck, I'd settle for just the sex, to take the edge off. And it can be a straight forward quickie, no bells and whistles.

This frustration is what is leading to thoughts of bratting. The reason I haven't yet bratted (besides the fact that I don't consider it appropriate behavior for a grown woman -- another post, another time) is that I'm not convinced it would lead to the desired outcome -- a well spanked, very hot, very red bottom and intense sex.

Maybe, if it doesn't get too late, I can convince DH that a little 'play time' before sleep would be good, very good.

Now if I can just getting to follow through, and turn his teasing into reality.

Apologies

To anyone who may have tried to email me over the past week --

I was updating my blog settings last week and made a little typo while updating the email address. Imagine, just adding one little character, and suddenly I'm not getting any emails (not that I get many, but still). Not only did I fix the error, I did a test run, so I know with certainty that the email link in my profile is now working.

So, if you tried to email me and it didn't work (I don't know if you'd get an error message or not -- but if you haven't gotten a response from me, then you know I never got your message), please email me again. I love getting messages :)

Love Our Lurkers Day

Hey you!

Yeah, you. You know who you are. You're the one who comes here, reads this blog and never leaves a comment or emails me. What's with that? Are you trying to give me a complex?

Just kidding.

Having been a lurker, before I started blogging myself, I know how easy it is to read a blog, really like it and/or connect with something posted, but think "that's an old post," "others have commented already," "the blogger doesn't have any interest in what I have to say," etc.

Well, you're wrong, so wrong.

I know you come to my blog, and some of you come back again and again. But knowing you visit is not enough (what can I say, I'm needy). You don't need to leave big long dissertations (but they're okay if that's what you're into), a simple 'Hi, I like your blog' is more than enough to brighten my day. And you know what, I'll respond to your comment or email, no matter how long or how short -- I know how important feedback is. And it doesn't matter whether you want to comment on today's post or one from a month ago, I will still read your message and respond to it. You don't need to tell me your name or anything personal about yourself. What you say is up to you (just please don't be rude or cruel).



So, please, starting today, if you want to comment, ask questions, just say 'hi', whatever, please, please, please do it. And don't stop -- keep doing it, every time you want to.

Nothing to say

DH is out of town, again, and will be frequently the next few months. No reflection on blogging or spanking, but when he's not here, my inspiration is muted. Makes it difficult for me to focus and come up with something appropriate to write about here.

That said --

We had a mini disagreement over the phone today. And while he had some valid points, I do feel he exaggerated the situation, and I did not respond well to the way he spoke to me. If you've been following my blog, you are probably getting the impression that these situations between us occur on a weekly basis. Truly they don't, just for some reason in the past month we've been more testy with each other (I know some of you are thinking 'he needs to just spank her soundly and get it all out').

I know he's concerned that spanking has 'possessed' me, but I don't feel that way. I see it as something that we both enjoy and that really has helped us become closer. When we have a really good spanking session (he spanks me long and hard, and I'm marked and sore for the next few days -- a constant arousing reminder) followed by incredible multi-orgasmic (for me) sex, it just makes me feel more connected to him. He teases me about how blissed out I am after a session like this, but isn't that how it's supposed to be after we've given and received such intimate intense pleasure with each other?

We don't always include spanking in our intimate encounters, and I don't expect to. And I'm always open to anything DH wants to try, he just hasn't proposed anything lately.

I've told DH, repeatedly, but I'm not sure he really believes me (based on comments he's always making) that I've never cheated on him, have never come close, have never even wanted to. I can't even fantasize about cheating on him (if I fantasize about another man, then I am 'another' me in the fantasy - alternate reality). I don't even put myself in situations where it might even look like something illicit is going on. Yet he seems to have this distrust...

Quite frankly, I'm the one who should have issues trusting him. Not that he's cheated on me (he says he hasn't and I've never seen anything suspicious), but he was sexually wild and a partier before we met, not fully honest with me about himself (unknown to me he was married when we met -- a story for another post), and he's away from home so much. I am always at work, at home, or running errands. You tell me who has the opportunity. Yet he is constantly throwing accusations at me.

I don't know what the solution is. I love him and can't imagine not being with him, but when he gets so distrustful and accusing, or has one of his tantrums, it is so hard for me to trust and respect him. I rely on him to be the strong one that I can turn to when I need support and guidance. And I want to be his soft place when he's overwhelmed with work and other stresses.

And before anyone asks, yes I have told him these things, out loud and in emails. But I recognize I cannot make him truly listen and hear what I am saying, nor can I force him to change. He has to decide for himself how he wants to live his life and make any necessary changes. Just like I've been doing for the past few years.

Well, anyway, thanks for 'listening' to my rant. For someone who started this post thinking she had nothing to say, guess I ended up saying quite a lot.

Recent Stats

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who visits, to those of you who come back, and especially to you who comment and/or email me. While I started writing this blog as a way for me to express myself and a way to try and sort out my thoughts and feelings about submissiveness and spankings, I'm truly amazed that there are people out there who are interested in what I have to say.

I recently saw a quote from Ray Bradbury that really sums up why I write, have to write, regardless of what I write (not only this blog): You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Mainly for fun and out of curiosity, I use StatCounter to keep track of the number of visits, where visitors come from, and how they find me. (The counter itself is under my avatar.)

Since I've started keeping this blog regularly updated, I've made 21 posts (including this one) and have had over 4000 visits. You, my guests, come from 53 countries with the top 3 being: U.S. 63%; U.K. 10%; and Canada 6%. You come from huge metropolitan areas to small country towns; places I've visited, passed through, or lived, places I know about, places I want to visit, and places I've never heard of; you visit for a long while or just look and leave. You find me through other bloggers who have linked to me (My Bottom Smarts, All Things Spanking, Cherry Red Report, sub nouveau, Juno Henry), through websites (Spanking Art Wikipedia), and through search engines.

I really enjoy looking at the keywords that bring people to my blog. Beyond the basic "spank" and it's various versions, some of them just naturally lead me to want to comment on them, so here I go:

backsides bruised from spanking -- I have only one backside, and yes, it's been bruised by a spanking

big red bottom -- yes, it's big, too big, but it's only red when DH gets done with it

daughter has spankable butt -- ok, maybe she does, but I really don't think about it, and can't really remember the last time either daughter was spanked

dh submissive spank -- nope, I'm the submissive, not DH, so he spanks me, I don't spank him (although when he's having one of his rants, it does cross my mind)

I spanked my sisters bum -- nope, not ever, don't ever plan to

my husbands spanked me for punishment -- husbands? more than one? how does that work?

red bottom from spanking stories -- the stories make me want a red bottom, but unless DH prints them out, rolls them, and uses them to spank me...

spanking england -- that's rather a large goal, will your spanking arm hold up to the task?

autumn 2007 england's best logic puzzles -- I really hope this person was trying to find my blog, otherwise this would have been a big surprise

lexus dent and frying implements -- same as above, what a shock to find a spanking blog if you're looking for car repairs or cookware

spankability -- there's just something about this word :)

spanking robin -- I hope this means you really were looking for my blog and not some other Robin out there who gets spanked :)

Miscellaneous others: red bum spanking movies; hot red bottom spanked; red bottom spanking; spanking daddy bottom; red bottom hairbrush wife; red butt spanking; red bottom day; spanking silly; spanking express; very small bottom bending over; turned on by spanking; good sex

A final note: Please don't be afraid to comment or email me, I respond to everyone, just not always same day (I work and have a family). I love knowing that people read, and hopefully, connect with what I write here.

TGIF

Thank goodness it's Friday. Just in general, I am usually so tired by the time I get to Friday that it's all I can do to get through work, let alone think about dinner. So my sweet hubby ordered pizza for the kids and then brought a slice up to me and shared his last hot wing with me, too.

To make the exhaustion worse, it's that time of the month, just in time for the weekend and our Saturday play night. Not exactly sure how things will play out tomorrow night -- I expect we'll still go out, and am hoping for a spanking, but we'll have to see what happens next (I'm guessing anal). And tomorrow is the last Saturday before DH spends the next 3 weeks travelling -- he'll be home for the next two weekends, but not the last weekend of the month. But even when he's home on the weekends, when he's been travelling he's so worn out that the weekends are pretty much taken up with recovering. Perfect period timing, not.

So, what do you do when it's that time of the month? Something about knowing that we "can't" (okay, more like neither of us really want to for a few days), just makes us want sex even more. So last night we're both horny. It started for me as I was reading a few blog postings, then while snuggling with DH, he switched from baseball to some soft porn movie we had recorded on the DVR (this DVR is connected only to the TV in our room, so the kids aren't likely to stumble across it), and made us both crazy horny. He started caressing me, insisted I stroke him, then he moved his hand down and started rubbing my clit, and before you know it he'd come and then I'd come, and we were able to fall asleep.

Another question: Do you watch porn? We don't that much, and to be honest, most of it is so cheesy and fakey that I just can't enjoy it (we will actually critique it, not very arousing). I prefer a good story with good acting, good sets, and production values, AND good sex. Nothing irritates me more when an actor, supposedly in the middle of mindblowing sex, turns to look dead on at the camera. I have found some foreign films (not porn, per se) with all of the above, but not much domestic (we both like the "Eyes of Desire" movies by Candida Royalle). So, we signed up with a rental company that delivers to your home, I've checked out reviews, and we've ordered some movies that are highly recommended as not only having good sex in them, but also meet my other criteria. I'll have to let you know. We received the first one yesterday, and since it has a spanking theme, I think we may have to watch it tomorrow during our play time.

Figuring Me Out, part 2

As I've said before, I've spent a lot of time the last few years trying to figure me out and what I want and need to be happy -- meaning lots of self help books, O! magazine, Internet searches, thinking, opening up to DH, etc. Part of the instigation for this was approaching 40. I found this really hard -- 30 was easy, 35 was no problem, but 40? Given the standard life expectancy 40 really is middle aged, chronologically (when I turned 30, my mother actually wrote in my card something about my now being middle aged -- if I was middle aged at 30, what did that make her at 54?). And I started thinking about about my hope and dreams and things I figured would never happen.

My dad died of cancer a few years ago and we found a journal he had kept for awhile during and around the time my parents marriage was falling apart (I was in high school). It was sad -- he wrote in there about the dreams he'd given up, always to please others (parents, wife) and he seemed to have very little happiness in his life. And how he was always waiting for things to be "just right" before doing things. I did not want to be like that, only having regrets, never doing what I wanted/needed, waiting till it was too late.

So, I started working on me and doing things I wanted to do. I started slow, mostly with books, fiction and non-fiction. I had never been a big fan of romance (can't stand bodice ripper covers; stupid, weak, ineffectual women; predictable plots; stupid euphemisms), but I had discovered Diana Gabaldon a few years earlier, then Sara Donati and Katie MacAlister. The covers were tasteful, characters seemed real and complex, plots were interesting, there was humor and pathos, and I could relate to these women. Reading these stories made it glaringly clear that I had no such romance or bond with my husband, and I most desperately wanted to have something somewhat similar to what the characters in these books had.

Contrary to popular opinion, this did not mean I listed all my husband's failings or worked out ways to get him to change. I knew that my life and marriage could only be changed if I changed myself. So that's what I started to do. It was not easy -- it never is when you're looking deep into yourself and determining what you like and don't like about yourself and what needs to be done to increase the likes and decrease the don't likes. And I will always be a work in progress for the rest of my life.

to be continued ...

Silly, Funny Spanking

After last night my youngest is obviously going to have the idea that daddy spanking mommy is funny and silly.

I was teasing her last night while fixing dinner. She had her back to me and I reached over and pinched her little bum. Since the dog was right next to her (the puppy that thinks my daughter’s a chew toy) she immediately assumed he had nipped her so yelled out his name. I started laughing. Unfortunately, the little one is extremely (overly) sensitive and my laughing led her to start pouting and making these horrid noises. I managed to cajole her out of the funk and everything was moving along just fine. Until daddy came home.

Mean mommy that I am, I had to tell daddy the whole silly story, while she was in the room (my mistake, I should have waited till DH and I were alone). The pouting and noises started again. Both DH and I started telling her that her reaction to the teasing was unacceptable, but we got no where. That’s when DH asked, “Do you want me to spank mommy?” in a way that makes it obvious that this is all fun and games. Well, of course she does; I’ve just upset her and seeing me get “punished” for it only seems right.

I was standing on the opposite of the kitchen island from DH and the little rugrat. DH walks around the island and gives me one swat. I start laughing – couldn’t help it. He looks at her and says, “should I spank her more?” The little monster nods, so now my other cheek gets a sharp crack from his hand. And this continued, DH asking if he should spank me more, and her nodding (with a smile that was getting ever larger), until I received about 6 spanks, and was laughing so hard I was crying. DH was laughing. So was the little one. (The older two were in the adjoining family room through all this, in sight and sound of the spectacle.)

So not a wild, erotic spanking episode, but fun and silly.

Making up is fun to do

DH and I have made up. I was still up when he came home Friday night (really early Saturday morning) and we talked and snuggled and had a make-up quickie.

Saturday night has become our date night, but this Saturday we decided to stay in, watch TV, drink some wine and really make up. While DH napped, I showered, got snacks and got the kids to bed. By the time I was done, he was up.

We watched some TV, regular movies, and some porn, had some red one and got things started. As usual I was snuggled up next to DH and he took my hand and guided it down to his already hard cock. He then started caressing my body, moving his hand down until to my pussy. Finding my panties in the way, I was instructed to remove them. Then he began touching me in earnest. It wasn't long till I was instructed to roll over onto my stomach -- you know what that means ... spanking time! After several warming spanks with his hand, DH decided it was time to kick things up a notch. He got off the bed and he told me to get into position (bent over pillows with knees at the edge of the bed). DH used his hands, the leather paddle, and the hairbrush. He'd give me several spanks, hard, then pause and caress, kiss, lick, finger, etc. At one point he even poured wine on my butt then licked it off. The contrast of cold wine on warmed butt, followed by warm tongue -- wow! He also did more of the love bites, so intense.

I don't necessarily do really well with the holding still and being quiet during a spanking. I've never yet had the urge to throw my hands back in an attempt to protect myself, and DH can spank VERY hard. So I was ordered more than once to be quiet (especially after repeated utteringsof "ouch") and to get back into position (when he hits that extremely sensitive area between the legs, I just cannot stay in position).

We've discovered that when I am in this position, with my legs off the bed, DH can stand right at my feet while spanking me, and I can use my feet to pleasure him. He even oiled up his cock so it would slide easier between my feet.

Hubby was in fine form Saturday night. Got my bottom good and hot, and my pussy good and wet, and then he was thrusting into me. He gets me so aroused, knows all the right things to do, that it doesn't take me long at all to orgasm. And the more he keeps thrusting into me, the more orgasms I have. When it's a Saturday night spanking date, I usually can't even keep count of them all I'm so lost in all the sensations.

And lately, a spanking seems to mean we're also going to have anal sex, and that night was no different. I always know this is what DH intends when he starts pouring oil all over my butt. He rubs it all over my cheeks and then down my crack, making sure he also coats his cock well. If you've never had anal, I don't know if I can adequately describe it. There's stretching, sometimes with pain (although not this night), a sense of being filled, and when he starts thrusting, I feel it all as tingles all along my spine up to the nape of my neck. I also feel it in my pussy, it seems to swell and throb even more, and as he thrusts ever harder and faster, balls bang into my clit and how can I not have a screaming orgasm with all those intense sensations flooding through my body. And as long as he doesn't come, and keeps thrusting into me, I will keep coming, until I'm almost delirious from the experience.

And we always end with lots of snuggling and cuddling, till we drift off to sleep.

Figuring Me Out

Starting to figure out where some of my confusion/repression regarding sex has come from.

I am a readaholic and a bookophile (I read anything and everything I can get my hands on and love books). Have been all my life, got it from my dad, as he was a readaholic and bookophile, too. He introduced me early on to fantasy and science fiction, and I now find myself wondering what the heck he was thinking.

I think I was about 12 when he gave me Marion Zimmer Bradley's Endless Universe (I think that's the title). I rapidly moved on to anything else she had written, and Robert A. Heinlein, and Anne McCaffrey, and on and on. If you've ever read any works by these authors, you know that sexual/sensual freedom was a common theme running through there stories. I'm currently rereading some of Heinlein's works (The Number of the Beast, To Sail Beyond the Sunset), and I am amazed that no only did my religious leader dad (he was in charge of our small congregation most of my teen years) know I was reading these, but I often took them from his shelves.

Hence, the basis for my confusions and repressions. I was reading these books that my dad also read that were full of people having sex with whomever they wanted, whenever they wanted, and it was happy and joyous and full of love. Then I would go to church and have it pounded into me (hormonal, curious teen) that sexual feelings and passion (lust) are WRONG. That I shouldn't fantasize or read about sex, shouldn't masturbate and should not be doing anything sexual with anyone. Sex was only between a man and woman bonded by marriage, and presumably, only for creating a family. The church that my dad where my dad was the local leader. Talk about your mixed messages.

Heinlein -- oh my goodness... His stories are full of sex: man/woman, man/man, woman/woman, group, swapping/swinging, never in explicit detail, but always clearly respectful, loving, fun, etc. And spankings: threatened, promised, remembered; man to woman, woman to man, etc. Again nothing in detail, but still. And he was writing this stuff clear back in the 1930's.

I know my dad didn't mean to do anything to cause me distress, but I lived so repressed for so long, that I have some deep regrets over the "wasted years", and although it was never officially diagnosed, I know I suffered through bouts of depression (DH can attest to this -- and to the fact that I do not go through these "dark periods" near as often or as severely as I used to). And finally expressing those regrets and the desire to have things be different from now on has caused some stress in my marriage as DH worries that it's pulling me away from him (part of this past weeks mess). I honestly don't feel that it's pulled me away or that it will -- in fact, we are better than ever. We talk, and joke, and share, and laugh more. I am an active participant in our sex life and am not denying my passion anymore.

I've also stopped attending church -- although initially I used other excuses to explain why I wasn't going anymore (even to myself). I'm glad that so many people find peace and joy and love with religion, but it didn't provide that for me, just one more responsibility, duty, and standards that I knew deep down I could never meet; and that ultimately held me down in denial, repression and depression. I'm definitely spiritual, just not religious anymore. So far no one has really questioned me about my decision (other than DH, and he understands), but since my mom and my sibs all still attend the same church with their spouses and kids, and my oldest daughter does, too, plus I still have social contact with members, I suppose at some time some one may ask. That could be interesting.

So now you know a little bit more about me and where I'm coming from as I use this blog to help me sort things out and share my experiences with my "new" life.

Back to Normal. I think.

So, it's been one of those weeks. My arm is pretty much back to normal, just slightly swollen and bruised around the injection site. Some bug crawled up DH's butt, but apparently has now crawled back out -- after multiple rounds of emailing back and forth, during work hours (I still managed to pretty much clear my desk). Basically DH makes vast assumptions, based on his own paranoid ideas, and decides I mean something so totally off what I do mean, that it's in another universe. I won't bore you with the details (if you want them ask and I'll 'talk' your ears off). Of course, we didn't get this resolved until my neck and back were in such knots that I spent the first hour home this evening 'snuggling' with a bag of frozen peas. Really wishing I'd made it to my massage on Tuesday. DH even asked me to go out with him tonight instead of tomorrow, our usual date night. Begged off -- we'll see how my back is tomorrow.

Now for something spanking related:

While DH and I were on vacation earlier this year, one of the stops was Dubrovnik, Croatia. Part of the excursion was a tour of the Rector's Palace - Museum of Dubrovnik. It was mainly antique furniture and artwork. In one of the rooms was a beautiful cabinet, black base with paintings all over it, made in the late 17th century. That's a picture of it from the museum website . We didn't take any pictures ourselves -- I don't think it was allowed. Anyway, on the far right lower panel there is a picture of a seated woman viewed from the back, and she has an obviously rosy bottom. I noticed but didn't say anything. DH noticed, leaned into me and whispered, "somebody's been spanked." I tried to zoom in, but it's not very good, sorry.





So, women with rosy backsides are nothing new.

Ugh

It's just been one of those weeks. I've felt not quite normal (nasty big red area on my arm from vaccination last week, achy, unfocused - what I like to call fuzzy around the edges). I swear no one would notice if I just crawled into a hole. I sit in a back corner behind high cubicle walls at work and if I don't come out, I never see anyone. So work is ugh this week. And at home -- DH (and, no the "D" does not stand for "dear" or "darling" or any other endearment that starts with D -- use your imagination as to what "D" might stand for this week) has been a bear all week, nothing I or the kids do is right, and he throws tantrums (I know I've mentioned this before). Makes me closed off. And feeling even worse.

So, I've just not felt like blogging this week, but since I know I get visitors daily (new and returning - thank you StatCounter) I wanted to let you all know I've not crawled into a hole (yet). I have been working on some post content (my life history, etc.) but just haven't felt like completing it and posting it. Soon, I promise.

Spanking Fanatic? Moi?

I emailed DH the picture from my previous post, with a warning in the subject line to open it in private (on his way back from Mexico, he stopped at his sister's). Once he opened it, he fired off three emails in quick succession: #1 Spanking fanatic; #2 I have a surprise for you when I get home; #3 Did you make this or download it from some website? I answered all three in one email: #1 So are you; #2 Oooh, I love surprises; #3 I made it. His response: "I am a butt fanatic butt not that much spanking fanatic. I do like to spanking to the limit." (I've kept his spelling, etc.)

Personally, I think he's in denial, as the surprise was a vinyl strap he made while in Mexico to use on me. Obviously, he gets spanking on the brain, too. Remember, he's also the man who has suggested using a frying pan, and likes to swat my butt in public. Sounds like a spanko to me. And, because of the picture I made, he's been referring to me as "red bottom," pretty ironic considering that he has no knowledge of this blog (at least I don't think so).

DH got home Friday evening, and all weekend has been a welcome home celebration: he went out Friday night, but unintentionally woke me up when he came home, and decided that since I was awake he'd take advantage of the situation; then Saturday morning when we woke up, we had fun again; Saturday night was date night, and true to form, I was soundly spanked and then pleasured front and back (DH counted and figured I had about 4 orgasms -- 2 each); then this morning was a quickie. I knew last night was a good spanking when I rolled onto a sore butt this morning. I just wish DH didn't feel the need to spank full force, but when I try to convince him to vary the force, he goes all dom on me and reminds me that he determines when, what, where, and how my spankings go. He's home for the next two weeks, so who knows.

Look What I Did

On my handy dandy tablet PC, I have Corel Painter Essential 3. I've been playing with it the past couple of days (DH is out of town, again, so I have time). So, this isn't award winning art, but I don't think it's half bad for my first try at freehand with the stylus. And of course, I had to have a spanking theme :)

My Erotic Personality Is...

I took Sage Vivant's Erotic Personality Quiz and discovered I'm a Bottom!

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now.





No surprise there, huh? I actually have her book and took the quiz. My top 3 personalities (all 8's) are Bottom, Student, & Escapist. Show-Off and Partier are my second tier with 6 points each. Seems pretty accurate to me, especially once I read the definitions for the different personalities. A fun way to spend some time (especially with DH out of town).

DH Full of Surprises

My DH never ceases to surprise me.

Saturday was our date night and we both needed the time out.
Friday night had been stressful (see my post on Robin’s Nesting Place), and Saturday DH was stressed over a work related email he had received. I didn’t know about the work email and thought I was the cause of his stress (I thought it was something I had done that was irritating him) and wasn’t sure if he even wanted to go out with me. He went back forth, finally deciding that yes, we would go out. He still wasn’t in the best of moods, so while he got ready I sent him a text message:

“Sorry.
Love me?
Spank me?
Fuck me?”

He didn’t get it until we were downstairs, heading out the door, when he grinned and announced that he’d gotten a message from his girlfriend. Major mood improvement :)

While we were at the bar, we started talking about spankings. It was so loud in there, I doubt anyone could have heard what we were saying, but if they did, oh well.
How did he surprise me? First, he revealed that he had thought about spanking me, long before I brought it up. Well, I’ll be. He’d never mentioned it and his reaction when I brought it up did not lead me to believe it had ever crossed his mind. Did not, however, get any explanation as to why he never said anything, or even tried to. Second, he said that if there were any clubs around where we could check “things” out, he’d be happy to take me. So now I need to do a little searching, but we’re pretty close to a large city, so odds are I should be able to find something. Third, he’s asked me to find some spanking movies we can watch together. Any suggestions anyone? Fourth, I was snuggling against him while at the bar, and at one point he had his arm around me and gave my breast a squeeze (DH is not really into public displays, so this was a pleasant surprise).

Did he respond to my text when we got home? Oh, yes, live and in person, all three counts. Even tried a couple of new implements (wooden spoon and belt). I kinda liked the belt – a very different sensation from the other items he typically uses on me. And he was bossy – “be quiet,” “don’t move,” “spread your legs,” “get back in position,” “don’t tell me what to do.” He even spanked my inner thighs – ouch! Love it when he gets all dominant like that :) Woke up Sunday morning with a sore bruised bum – unfortunately mostly on the left side. I wish he’d try to learn to be more balanced and ambidextrous with the spankings – it’s not so comfortable when it’s uneven like that. Of course, he claims it was all intentional.

Unknown to me, I am apparently responsible for making sure all implements get put away. This was made clear to me when DH walked into the kitchen Sunday morning with the wooden spoon in hand and proceeded to give me a hard swat while reprimanding me for not putting it away. The kids were in the family room. For someone who professes to be concerned about whether the kids know what’s going on, he’s not doing a very good job of being discreet.

Anyway, just another day in our spanko life.

Stats & Spankability Test

I took a close look at my blog stats and thought I'd share. I have over 2000 visits, so far.

Of the last 1500 hits/visits visitors have come from:

35 different countries, with 66% from the U.S.
-- I have lived in, visited or passed through 10 of these countries (Germany, U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, France, Belgium, Denmark, Greece, Italy, and Croatia)

45 of the 50 U.S. states (all except Montana, Wyoming, New Mexico, and North and South Dakota)
-- I have lived in, visited, or passed through 24 of these 45

6 of the 10 Canadian provinces, 2 of the 3 territories
-- I've visited 2 of the provinces, B.C. and Ontario

Approximately 440 different cities
-- the most interesting: Hjorring & Rodovre, Denmark; Malaga & Madrid, Spain; Hong Kong; Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; Moscow, Russia; Yellowknife & Whitehorse, Canada; Milan, Italy; Zagreb, Croatia; Jerusalem, Israel; Espoo & Ylivieska, Finland; Larvik, Norway; Riga, Latvia; Maribor, Slovenia; Prague, Czech Republic.
-- several U.S. cities I have lived in, visited, or passed through (including the city I currently live in).

I find it absolutely fascinating to see that people from all over the world have found their way to my blog. Thank you all for visiting and I hope you visit again.

(#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#)

Saw this on Bonnie's blog and thought I'd give it a try, too. Considering we're newbies, with lots of things still to try, I don't thinkg 80% is anything to sneeze at.

Your Score: VERY SPANKABLE

You are 80% spankable!

You love being spanked, preferably to a deep rosy hue. You like nothing more than being bent over anything, anywhere, and spanked by a strong hand or maybe a leather paddle. We wouldn�t be surprised if you wore those panties with the ruffles on the ass. You are also probably guilty of wiggling the goods at people and bending over suggestively at every opportunity.

Link: The How Spankable Are You Test written by bazz22 on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My Comment for the MBS Brunch

Do you believe your interest in spanking is inborn, learned, or some combination of the two? Might it vary from one person to the next? Does it change with the passage of time?

I have to say for me (and DH) I think it's a combination. I don't recall being fascinated or turned on by spanking in my youth, but I do have to say my exposure to anything sexual, kinky or vanilla, was very minimal (small town, no cable TV, no computer/internet, no exposure to overtly sexual reading material, strict religious upbringing). I've mentioned this is a previous post, but looking back it's fairly obvious I've always had submissive tendencies/desires (even though I didn't know what to call it at the time, or what that meant).

I went from this repressive childhood and youth to a fairly liberal university with a lot a feminist leaning classes. There is nothing wrong with the idea that men and women should be treated equally, but for an unknowingly submissive woman the opinion that she should not look to a man for anything nor should she allow a man to be dominant over her is just another sort of repression. It's taken me years to get past both these repressions.

Did I notice when spanking was present in a story, show, etc.? Yes, and while I don't recall it being a turn-on, it was not an outrage either, more of an, "Oh, okay, seems right in that situation." Until I found the stories on the Internet, with all the physical and emotional details, and they really spoke to me and got me thinking and wanting to explore spanking.

So, for me, it is both. I can't say it's 100% inborn because I don't feel I've had an irrepressible need for spankings my entire life. It's learned in that, for us, it's way a for DH to express his dominance and me to express my submission and trust. My submissive nature is inborn and led to my spanking interest as a way to express that submission.

From all the reading I've done of other blogs, websites, stories, etc., I have to say "Yes" to the last two questions. Ultimately, I don't think it should matter how a person gets to the point of identifying as a "spanko" (nature, nurture, or combo), nor should it matter how they choose to practice (or not practice) this at different times in their lives. I'm just grateful to all of you who write the stories, create the blogs and websites and share them with me -- you've all unknowingly helped me on my ongoing journey to find myself and accept who I am and what I need to be happy.

Silly Things

Didn't get a chance to write during lunch today (ate out with an account rep) so I don't have anything prepared. I usually take my personal computer to work with me, and while I don't have Internet access through it while at work, I do use it to jot down notes, thoughts, stories, etc., and not just for blogging. Depending on how long my "story" is, I may be able to get 2 or 3 things down (at least roughly) during that time.

So, since I didn't get that chance, here's just a couple of silly things that happened yesterday.

DH was out of town Monday and Tuesday, returning yesterday (Wednesday). We obviously missed each other because:

A) While I was working on my computer yesterday evening, the phone rang, just once. I thought it might be DH but didn't say anything (he was out running errands). My oldest child was in our bedroom office working on the desktop computer. I asked which phone was ringing (we have 2 lines), she wasn't sure, and I answered, "Probably nothing as it only spanked once." As soon as I finished speaking I realized what I'd said, and started to snicker. My daughter is staring at me, "What!?" I'm sure my face was red, as I just kinda mumbled something along the lines of 'I don't know, just ignore me, pretend I didn't say that, we're not going there." Turns out it was DH and another child had just been quick on the pick up.

B) DH is home from his errands and all 5 of us are in our room. DH had been in Mexico and the client there had given him this large basic of Mexican candies to bring home. We're all trying them out, sharing our opinions -- DH sitting back against the headboard on his side, me lying on my stomach with my feet up by my pillows and my head near his feet. With the kids right there, DH asks me, "How many candies have you had?" "3." "3?" "Yeah." He then gave me three solid spanks on my backside. He laughed, I just looked at him. I didn't even look at the kids to see what they might be thinking. And everyone went back to trying the candies.

Unfortunately, DH was exhausted last night so nothing happened but sleep, but he's not so tired to night. I know because he's requested that I spend some time lavishing him with some oral attention before we retire for the night. I'm sure at least a little spanking will be my reward.

Spanking Logic?

I like to do pencil puzzles, especially logic puzzles, kriss krosses and Sudoku, but will do anything in a pinch. A while ago I bought a book of logic puzzles -- "England's Best Logic Puzzles." It's from Autumn 2005, but since I only do a few puzzles at a time, I still have it.

Anyway... #43 is entitled Old School Ties, and I was well into when I started noticing the names of the former pupils. BEATTY CAINE. I had to laugh. I know it's not spelled the same, but can there be any doubt. Images of naughty students and stern headmasters danced through my head. Somehow I don't think this is a name that would have shown up in an American logic puzzle.

Dented the Lexus

My husband has a black Lexus SC430, his baby (along with the motorcycle and the dog). It gets washed at least once a month, is covered while in the garage, is rarely left at the airport when DH travels (he’ll hire a car or use a company car). He parks it on the right side of the garage by the door to the house and I park on the left side (this is as you’re facing into the garage from outside).

It’s important to understand how the cars are parked because it’s part of what happened next. For some reason, forgotten now, my car was out on the driveway. At that time we had a golden retriever, Lily, and she was going nuts, chewing everything she could reach (including our youngest child). We had bought her some retriever rolls and I decided to use one to get her to go out to the garage. So, I stood in the doorway (remember it’s by DH’s car), took a retriever roll (about 10” of rolled, hard rawhide) and did an underhand toss into the garage trying to get it onto my side of the garage. Only I misjudged and put too much height on my toss – I knew this as soon as it left my hand. It initially cleared the Lexus, then hit the roof of the garage and smacked right down onto the hood of his car. DH had been out on the driveway, but heard the noise and came into the garage. He knew right away what had happened. I was adult about it, I didn’t run away or try to bluster my way out of it. I stood there in that doorway with a chagrined look on my face while hubby inspected the dent. After giving me what for, verbally, he got in his car and took off – needing time to cool down (standard behavior when he’s upset).

The really stupid thing is that right before I made that toss, I actually considered the possibility that it might hit his car. And I threw it anyway. Sheeeesh. Obviously not working with a fully functioning brain that day.

Anyway, you’re probably thinking DH came back and spanked me good and proper for doing something so stupid. Nope, we don’t do punishment spankings, although he threatens.

And that’s what happened here, but it took him a few days to make the threat – I think it was after he got the quote to fix the dent ($130). Ok, I may have mentioned something about he “could always spank me for it.” Basically, this was said because I was tired of hearing about the darn dent – I knew I did it, it was a stupid move on my part, I hadn’t destroyed the car, and I was ready to move on. He grinned and said something along the lines of yes he should. Now I didn’t think he really would, it just doesn’t seem his nature, but he’s surprised me in the past, and just the fact that he said he should was enough for there to be little butterflies of trepidation (and arousal) fluttering away.

This is how the “spanking” went – we were lying down, enjoying some quiet time to ourselves, when he reaches over and swats my fully clothed butt. He started talking about how I needed a spanking for denting his car – which was fine until he started grinning and laughing. I couldn’t help but grin and laugh, too. I don’t think he did more than a half dozen bare hand – to –jean covered bottom swats before he was laughing too hard to continue.

So, if he had approached me seriously about administering a punishment spanking, would I have submitted? Probably, at least at first. Depending on how it went I can't say whether it would ever happen again. I try not to over analyze but there is a part of me that would like DH to hold me accountable for my actions with clearly defined consequences. I especially feel this way when he's upset about something -- his usual behavior is to blow up and then disappear. When he comes home it's pretty much the silent treatment until he calms down and then the issue is pushed under the rug as though nothing ever happened. I really don't like this, especially as I like to think of my husband as the big, strong man and not as the temper tantrum throwing child. Very hard to respect an adult acting like a child. I think I'd rather face a spanking and discussion about the situation and have the tension defused than have to walk on eggshells around DH until things get back to "normal." I am also a huge supporter of the idea that if no one tells you there's a problem and what it is, you can't work together to fix it -- so all his disappearing and silent treatment do are postpone the issues until the next blow up.

Anyway... for the time being, fun and erotics spankings? YES! Punishment/discipline spankings? No. And that works for me.

Thank You

Just wanted to say a quick thank you to Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts. Bonnie has given me my first comment, added my blog to her "Kindred Spirits" list, and has added me to the Spanking Blog - Spanking Art Wiki. So many people have visited my blog thanks to her links.

Thank you also to everyone who has visited. I know it is up to me to give you a reason to keep coming back, and I promise to try. In just two days, my blog has received over 100 hits (some even return visits) from people all over the world.

It'll be at least a couple of days till anything new happens with me (DH is out of town), but I'm sure I'll be able to come of with something to post in the meantime.

Love Bites

Oh. My. God.

That’s my comment on last night.

In my post about the frying pan, I mentioned that it had been 3 weeks since my last spanking and that DH had promised to take care of that situation. He did, in spades. [Warning -- if you're uncomfortable with the use of explicit words to describe sex, you may not want to read this.]

The evening started with visiting a couple of local bars, one where we were looking for a couple we know, the other an Irish pub-style place where we like to sit outside and just enjoy a few drinks. I don’t drink often, and only with DH – it’s just a nice time out for the two of us. (While enjoying our drinks, DH happened to bring up the whole frying pan as spanking implement idea again. I had to laugh, as he has no idea that I blogged about it or that I had just posted it that same day. Can you tell we’ve been together a long time?)

Once we went home, DH took the dog out and I went upstairs to get ready. I undressed, except for my panties (cream lace) and put on one of his white dress shirts. We don’t have any rituals, yet, in regards to particular clothing, positions, or anything so I piled up some pillows on his half of the bed and positioned myself over them with my backside raised. I also placed the leather paddle and the hairbrush next to me on the bed. In this position, I can’t see when he enters the room, but I could hear him and he gave me a quick swat as he went by into the bathroom to change. He then came out and sat on my left side. DH didn’t waste any time, starting with his hand then switching to the paddle and the brush. He switched around between the three for the entire spanking, doing a fine job of covering my entire backside.

But the most incredible thing was what he did between rounds. I’m used to him pausing to stroke and kiss, but last night he went so much beyond that. He covered my bottom with love bites. It was so incredibly intense. It’s a good thing the kids were sound asleep, as I was anything but quiet (I rarely am, just not possible for me to lie there quietly). Nor was I still. I couldn’t help myself, especially when he applied himself to that narrow band at the inner edge of the cheek. Oh. My. God. My back was arching, I have no idea what was coming out of my mouth but I’m sure it wasn’t intelligible words. He also somehow managed to position himself so that my feet were in the right place to caress him intimately.

I have no idea how long this lasted, but I was so aroused I was going to go crazy if we didn’t move onto the sex part. DH obvious realized this as he asked if I wanted to feel him inside me. It was all I could do to get out “yes.” I was so wet he just slid right in. He had his hands on my hips and was encouraging me to do all the moving, faster and harder. I was doing the best I could, and it was enough to prime me, because when he decided to take matters into his own hands, all it took was two hard thrusts and I was coming, the first of at least four screaming orgasms – I couldn’t keep count. (In order not to wake the kids or disturb the neighbors, I always make sure there is a pillow handy for me to scream into.) I know he asked if I liked his cock. It’s so hard for me to focus during sex that he actually needed to repeat the question before I was able to answer, “Yes, I love your cock.”

More thrusting, more coming and then he pulled out. I knew what was going to happen even before he poured the oil on – anal. (We’ve been doing anal sex for the last few years, at his instigation. I realized fairly early on that I really enjoy anal, to the point of orgasming during. And when I had mentioned how neglected I was feeling after 3 weeks spank-free, DH was very clear that not only would I be well spanked but also well fucked, both ways.) I was oiled and ready. Again, it didn’t take long and I was orgasming. And still he talked to me, “Tell me you like it when I fuck your ass.” I managed to focus long enough to tell him exactly that. Then he asked what did I want him to do. All I could answer was “fuck me, just fuck me.” And he did, even at one point reaching down to fingerfuck me at the same time -- such exquisite sensations. More orgasms, mine and then his.

It was all so intense and exhausting that I couldn’t even stay on the bed when we were done and I slid off the side of the bed down to the floor. DH laughed as he passed me on his way to the bathroom. I managed to get up and put his shirt back on so I was able to meet him with kisses as he came back into the bedroom. We climbed back into bed, snuggling and kissing until we fell asleep.

I woke up this morning with a very sore, very marked bottom, still radiating heat. And I’ve been feeling it all day and probably will for a few days to come (I’ll let you know). Also, I’m still amazed that he didn’t have to touch me anywhere but on my bottom to get me so aroused – that’s a first, but hopefully not a last.

P.S. I don’t go around everyday using words like “cock”, “fuck”, “ass”, etc, but during those special times with DH that tends to be how we talk. Sorry if it offends anyone, but that’s how we are.

Frying Pan?

I wasn't sure, for a while, if my DH was really into the whole spanking thing or if he was doing it only to please me. Other than the fact that he now tells me frequently, while spanking me, that he 'really, really' likes doing it, my concerns were laid to rest when he told me that he'd had some ideas about new implements. I was excited – until he said "frying pan." I know about 'pervertables,' but I tend to think of things like hairbrushes, belts, wooden spoons, etc. not large metal objects used for cooking food in.

Apparently he was walking through a large store and on his way through the kitchen area he noticed some frying pans. Instead of cooking, what came to his mind was "Wow, one of those would work well for spanking Robin's butt. I could cover an entire side in one blow." Fortunately, for me, he decided not to buy any. I know I laughed, a little, when he told me this, but honestly, a frying pan? I know my butt is big, but really is a frying pan the right tool? I've decided I'm perfectly happy with the implements we now have.

It makes me happy to know that my DH has embraced spanking me as a part of our life, but I am even happier, right now, that he did not buy a frying pan to spank me with.

Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

First of, can I just express dismay that it's been over a month since I last posted. The entire month of August just gone. I have plenty of reasons why -- DH travelling, my travelling, stress at work. And it's now been 3 weeks since my last spanking, too (although DH promises me that will be rectified tomorrow night). I have, however, been using my lunch hour to jot down some stories, notes and observations, so here goes.

Earlier this year DH & I went on our very first cruise, around the eastern Mediterranean. We started in Italy then went to Croatia, Turkey, and two of the Greek Isles, ending up back in Italy. We flew my mom in to watch the kids (we have no family nearby), so it was just the two of us for ten days. In 14 years of marriage this is only the second kid-free vacation we’ve taken, and the other one was last year. (I am not counting the random night in a local hotel now and then).
I was instructed to pack our “toys” -- which I eagerly did (I even created a “To Pack” list to make sure I didn’t forget anything, not just our toys). In retrospect, I probably over packed, but this was the first trip since we’ve started spanking, and I wanted to make sure we were ready for everything.
We had a great time -- in and out of our room (our neighbors could attest to our in room fun -- we got knowing smiles when we happened to meet in the hall). We went ashore at each stop, sometimes with an organized shore excursion, other times on our own. The Greek Isles were definitely our favorites and we hope to go back. We went nightly to at least one of the lounges, met people, danced (a very little as DH does not like to), listened to music, etc. The weather was gorgeous -- not a drop of rain whenever we were in port, only a little during the night. And from the very beginning of our trip in Milan I was spanked every day.
Since we are newbies, we are still figuring out the details -- how long, how hard, exactly where on my backside I should be spanked, positions, implements, etc. We had lots of time to play and experiment and during one session DH decided to focus his attentions on the undersides of my cheeks and on my sit spot. We have just a few implements at this time, really only 4 that he likes to use (including his hand) -- a 3-heart leather paddle, a bare wood Ping-Pong type paddle and an oval wooden hairbrush. He has a tendency to switch around between all 4, and I can’t always tell which one he’s using at any given time, unless I’m able to pay close attention (not always easy). Anyway, not sure what he used that day, but he definitely got my bottom red. When he couldn’t take it any longer, I was pulled up to my knees and he thrust in. It wasn’t long till I was moaning and coming, and not too much longer till I could hear that DH was about ready. After he came I figured we were done -- boy was I wrong. I have this purple gelly vibrator shaped somewhat like my DH. He now brought that out and began to use it on me, inside and out. I don’t know how long this continued as it was so intense I lost any track of time or orgasms, until finally I pulled away and collapsed face down on the bed.
As I lay there gasping for breath and trying to pull myself back to reality, I heard the click of DH’s cell phone camera. As I rolled over, disbelieving what I had just heard, DH showed me the picture. There I was, flat on my stomach, bright red bottom facing the camera. (And, no, this will not be posted mainly because I don’t want to, but I also don’t have access to it and really don’t want to explain to my loving DH why I need a copy of the picture.)
Up till this spanking, I had never had any lasting marks or pain (it most definitely hurts and marks during, but it rather quickly fades). The next morning when I get out of bed, DH looks at me then tells me to stop and bend over (obviously so he can get a better view). With a tone of astonishment, DH announces, “You’re bruised!” Mind you, I didn’t feel a thing, so I went into the bathroom, and after much contorting and tip toe standing I was able to see what he was talking about -- a lovely string of little bruises on the under curve of each of my cheeks. I know marking is something DH has issues with (he’s afraid he’s damaging me beyond repair) but I think the fact that I took it so well has helped since I’ve definitely had later spankings that marked me and that I felt the next day (or longer).
Up to that point, that was the best spanking session I’d had.