Sunday, September 16, 2007

My Comment for the MBS Brunch

Do you believe your interest in spanking is inborn, learned, or some combination of the two? Might it vary from one person to the next? Does it change with the passage of time?
I have to say for me (and DH) I think it's a combination. I don't recall being fascinated or turned on by spanking in my youth, but I do have to say my exposure to anything sexual, kinky or vanilla, was very minimal (small town, no cable TV, no computer/internet, no exposure to overtly sexual reading material, strict religious upbringing). I've mentioned this is a previous post, but looking back it's fairly obvious I've always had submissive tendencies/desires (even though I didn't know what to call it at the time, or what that meant).
I went from this repressive childhood and youth to a fairly liberal university with a lot a feminist leaning classes. There is nothing wrong with the idea that men and women should be treated equally, but for an unknowingly submissive woman the opinion that she should not look to a man for anything nor should she allow a man to be dominant over her is just another sort of repression. It's taken me years to get past both these repressions.
Did I notice when spanking was present in a story, show, etc.? Yes, and while I don't recall it being a turn-on, it was not an outrage either, more of an, "Oh, okay, seems right in that situation." Until I found the stories on the Internet, with all the physical and emotional details, and they really spoke to me and got me thinking and wanting to explore spanking.
So, for me, it is both. I can't say it's 100% inborn because I don't feel I've had an irrepressible need for spankings my entire life. It's learned in that, for us, it's way a for DH to express his dominance and me to express my submission and trust. My submissive nature is inborn and led to my spanking interest as a way to express that submission.
From all the reading I've done of other blogs, websites, stories, etc., I have to say "Yes" to the last two questions. Ultimately, I don't think it should matter how a person gets to the point of identifying as a "spanko" (nature, nurture, or combo), nor should it matter how they choose to practice (or not practice) this at different times in their lives. I'm just grateful to all of you who write the stories, create the blogs and websites and share them with me -- you've all unknowingly helped me on my ongoing journey to find myself and accept who I am and what I need to be happy.


Anonymous said...

Robin, I love your blog, I've been reading for a few days now.

I think I was born this way. I’ve been fascinated with the subject of spanking since I can remember, but growing up in the culture that I did and the experiences that I had growing up, I think really reinforced those feelings.

And oh...small town, no cable TV, no internet and a very strict religious upbringing...that sounds so very familar!

Hugs, Sugarpie

Robin said...

Hi Sugarpie, Thanks for visiting and commenting. I could have added to my post a couple of things: 1) We didn't even have a TV from the time I was 8 till I was 16; 2) Also, I sometimes wonder if I suppressed my sexuality/sensuality for so long and so deep that I have blocked out memories and feelings. As I revisit books I read and enjoyed all those years ago, I am finding that spanking is often mentioned. It may be more inborn for me than it appears on the surface. I'm just glad I've found it now.

Dave said...

I believe I was hardwired, born with it, a genetic predispostion, call it what you will.



p.s. Great blog btw!

Robin said...

Thanks for your comments, Dave. I'm still confused and dealing with the years of repression -- obviously I'm still figuring things out, so my opinion is subject to change, but I don't think I'd get the enjoyment from spanking that I do if it weren't at least somewhat inherent.