Monday, October 29, 2007

A Whole Week Gone!

Can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. I've started a couple of posts, saved the drafts, but haven't finished them.

When DH travels I have a very hard time sleeping -- I usually stay up til the wee hours reading, playing computer games, and/or watching TV. You'd think I could use the time to blog, but that requires too much mental effort at 1am (or later).

Also when he's not here, neither is my inspiration.

The two extra long work days didn't help either (2 hours drive each way, then hours of mostly boring meetings in very uncomfortable chairs). I had to get up an hour earlier than usual each day -- miserable. Then being two days out of the office meant extra tough days Thursday and Friday as I tried, and failed, to get caught up. And by end of day Friday my back was killing me.

Saturday I got up, went to the chiro then came home and cleaned house in preparation for DH coming home. He got home after 9pm and we were both too tired to go out, or have any other fun. Sunday was relaxing, with just a couple of errands to run -- DH spent most of it napping.

So, now it's a new week, and it's going to be even crazier than last week. Tomorrow is end of month, usually a long day, but since it's also the day before physical inventory, there will be even more work. Then Wednesday & Thursday (and possibly Friday) I'm supposed to be at work at 4:30 am (not a typo -- a.m. as in the black before the sun even wakes up morning), and since it's an hour drive to work, I'll be up at 3 and leaving at 3:30. If I'm starting that earlier, I must be getting off early, right? Wrong. I'm in charge of tag control, which means as long as counting is going on, I need to be there controlling tags, and last I heard they don't expect to stop until 6pm. DH will be taking our youngest trick-or-treating (she doesn't understand why mommy can't do it).

I am going to be very close to dead on Saturday.

So, while I may peek in on other blogs, and check my stats here, don't be surprised if another week goes by before I get a spanking related post on here.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Tinkering and Fires

Nothing's wrong with your computer or your vision. I've been tweaking the template for my blog, changing widths, removing graphics, changing to blogrolling for my list of blogs I've linked to. For the time being I will keep both my old and new lists on the blog, as they're not exactly identical.

For any of my readers in SoCal -- my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how frightening it is to have to evacuate in the face of wildfires, having been there myself. I hope you are safe and protected and finding comfort, and if you have had to evacuate, that you will soon be able to return home (and find it still standing and undamaged).

Monday, October 22, 2007

DH Knows Revisited

I have received a couple of comments on this post and just feel like I need to say more.

Why didn’t I tell DH at the outset what I was doing? Two reasons: 1. I am a little apprehensive about what his response might be to some of what I’ve written (although I do think that overall it has been positive); and 2. He just won’t get it.

1. I love my husband (I think that’s come through very clear), but we are very different in quite a few ways and these differences have, in the past, led to some major, relationship threatening, misunderstandings. I find that I can say something, meaning ‘a’ to me, and DH hears ‘1’ and gets all worked up, becoming very accusatory and offensive. I, of course, take this all personally, and usually end of crying and at a loss because I’ve done nothing to warrant the accusations. We’ve discovered that taking the time to write down what we are thinking and feeling, generally in emails, helps us communicate much better than we do face-to-face. The writing, I believe, gives us each a chance to really think about what we’re feeling/thinking/meaning as well as a chance to write it out as clearly as possible, and then gives us the time to ponder our response.

Based on this background, obviously I would have concerns that he might read one small piece of one post and get all worked up, without bothering to go further and put it all in the context of the entire blog. However, if he really wants to read what I write, I have no problem providing him with the address, etc. so that he can do so. I would just have to be ready to face whatever his reading stirs up. (Forewarned is forearmed).

Also, DH goes back and forth on the whole spanking thing. He gives the attitude that it’s not his thing, that he’s only doing it for me, and that I am way too obsessed with it, but when I push him a bit, he will confide that he does enjoy spanking me and that he finds it very exciting. Given his inner conflict and discomfort about all things spanking, he might not be so thrilled to find me relating our experiences in explicit detail.

2. DH is neither a reader nor a writer. I don’t think in all our years together that I have ever seen him read a novel (he’s says he did when he was younger, but I don’t have any evidence to support this). He rarely even reads for what might be termed ‘fun’ – not related to work or school, but something he’s interested in. He gets a few magazines on various topics, and seems to read some of them. The last book that he just read was non-fiction about health.

Since reading and writing are not things he enjoys, he really cannot understand my need to do these things. I am a voracious reader – sci-fi, fantasy, contemporary, historical, adventure, fiction, non-fiction, magazines – pretty much anything I can get my hands on (as proven by the overflowing shelves and teetering piles in our bedroom). And, I think, for some people, writing just goes hand in hand with reading. I have stories and poems that I have written starting in elementary school. I never had any issues with writing all through school, whether it was fiction or non-fiction reports – and generally received good marks for whatever I wrote. And today, beyond, the blogs, I am still jotting down poetry, images, and stories that pop into my head.

I listen to a lot of music and have found some lyrics that describe this need to write, for me anyway:
o Fidelity by Regina SpektorI hear in my mind all these voices, I hear in my mind all these words [Kinda make me sound psychotic :P]
o Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield – pretty much the whole song; I know it’s about life not being predetermined and making your own choices. But it describes the general practice of writing so well – pen in hand, blank page, not being able to find the words, reaching for something in the distance, no one else can do it for me, etc.
o Breathe (2 AM) by Anna NalickIt’s 2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song/If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,/Threatening the life it belongs to
I’m sure I could come up with others, given the time.

To finish up I’m going to share a ‘funny’ but true story about a ‘story’ I did write that DH saw.
Quite a long while ago, I had written a ‘story’ about a man and a woman in a hotel room, post-disciplinary spanking. Not being comfortable with others reading my writing (or really even having anyone to share with), this story was tucked away in a pile of other papers and magazines. Somehow, this one particular pad of paper ended up in the middle of our bed (I didn’t put it there, it wasn’t there when I left for work – and I was last out of the house that morning, and DH was first home – mystery) and of course, DH just had to pick it up and start reading. He got the absurd idea that this was my way of telling him I was having an affair. It took an incredible amount of talking on my part (trying not to snicker and snort at the ridiculousness) to get him to understand that it was just a story – nothing more, nothing less. And that I write all the time, about all sorts of things.

So, DH knows that I read and write, but he doesn’t understand my need, and the blogging falls right into this inability to understand. I am no longer hiding that I blog, and I share information about comments, other blogs I read, data from StatCounter, etc. And that seems to be all DH needs – for now, at least.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Friendly Reminder...

Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (at least in the U.S.) -- have you had your annual mammogram yet?

I did, just this past week. Believe me, it is not a pleasant experience to have your breasts pushed and pulled and placed just right, and then squashed. There's nothing quite like having a part of your body that you consider beautiful and sexy and sensual handled like so much meat (visits to the gyno are ickily similar). But it's only 5 - 10 minutes once a year. And considering that it just might save my life, it's an unpleasantness I'll put up with.

This was my third annual mammogram. And if you're doing the math (40 years old now minus 3 years = 37 at first mammogram), you're aware that I had my first one earlier than generally recommended. This is because my mom had breast cancer. She went through treatments (never even lost her hair) and has now been cancer free, and considered cured, for more than 10 years. I don't know whether the cancer was discovered during an annual mammogram or thru self-exam, but now that there is a family history (no other blood family members on either side that I know of have had breast cancer), plus I have a few other health issues that raise my risk, I'm not taking any chances. If it's going to happen, I would rather catch it earlier than later.

luv ur breasts
Custom Smiley
So, ladies, if you haven't had your mammogram yet this year, get it done; and make sure to do your monthly self-exams.

Gentlemen, encourage the ladies in your life to get their mammogram. And those monthly exams, you might consider helping out with those, make them more fun than chore.


Thursday, October 18, 2007

DH Knows

Well, DH knows I'm blogging. He doesn't quite understand 'blogging' but he understands that I am writing personal stuff and putting it on the Internet.

About a month ago I had mentioned that I was sure DH didn't know about this blog (Spanking Fanatic? Moi?). I was right -- he was basically clueless. But I thought he knew and was reading it but not saying anything to me (I don't know why he wouldn't say anything).

Why did I think this? Because of some of the information showing up in StatCounter. I was seeing hits in the morning from an IP/ISP that looked suspiciously like what I would think his work address would look like (and the referring link was suspicious, too). Then when he was out of town for work, in the late evening (when he'd be back in his hotel) I'd get hits from where he was.

And then little comments he made about 'red bottom' and 'readaholic' -- both terms that I associate with this blog.

So I'm going a little nuts, thinking he knows, but why isn't he saying anything, hashing over my posts trying to decide if I've said anything that he might be upset about. But I'm hoping it's not him, just a massive coincidence. So I kept track again when he went out of town, and the same thing happened -- no 'local' hits but 'travel' hits.

This past Saturday, while we were out, after a little liquid courage, I got the nerve up to say something to him. And it's not him! But now he's bugged out that someone he may know through work is reading what I write here. And it's not like he can go around asking if someone is reading his wife's spanking and sex blog ;D

And he's travelling again, and this time we're not seeing the pattern. So, we don't know, I don't want to know, don't really care who it is. Not likely I'm ever going to come into contact with them. I've tried to be careful on here to only give my name, no info about where we live (other than U.S.), where we work, family names, anything that might easily lead anyone to us.

And DH has decided he does not want to read my blogs, doesn't want to even know what they're called or what their addresses are. He has decided this because he is afraid that he might read something I've written that may upset or anger him. I have mixed feelings about this; if he reads it might help him understand me better, but if he doesn't like what I've written then I'm in for it. Oh, well. If he changes his mind and asks me, I'll give him the addresses.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Monday Fun

After my last post, I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally.

I made sure all the kids were in bed on time. I had exercised and cleaned up and got ready for bed.

When DH came in, I snuggled up to him. And gently began to caress him -- stomach, chest, thighs, legs, hips. Everywhere but 'there.' Eventually, he caught on and began to caress me in return. Usually, caressing by DH includes spanks, and such was the situation Monday night, after asking me if I wanted a spanking. I didn't say it, but thought, 'well, duh.' I did mention how his teasing Sunday night left me hot and bothered, and it just wasn't nice to leave me in that condition.

So we kissed and caressed and stroked and spanked until DH told me to remove my panties. I decided to do a little 'teasing' of my own while removing them -- I got on my knees, back to DH, and very slowly slid them down, while presenting my backside to him, with a few wiggles and back thrusts thrown in for good measure (DH loves my butt; he tells me this all the time -- I think his biggest worry if I were to ever lose my excess weight is that my butt will disappear). It wasn't long till DH was good and hard and I was good and wet, at which time I was told to get in position (on hands and knees at the edge of the bed). And I'm thinking, as I hasten to obey, 'Oh, goody, spanking time.'

Yep, yep, yep. And all hand. Not as long or as hard as I would have liked, but some deliberate spanking is much better than none at all. And it was a weeknight with work the next day, so I really couldn't expect something too long and drawn out .

And of course, no spanking is really complete (at least for us) unless it includes lots of caressing, kissing, licking, and fingering of various parts of my anatomy and is followed immediately by sex. Monday was no exception. DH caressed and kissed and licked my bottom, and caressed and stroked and fingered my pussy, and then he replaced his fingers with his cock. I am one of those rare and lucky women who can orgasm during intercourse without any direct clitoral stimulation (according to scientists only 30% can), so I did, orgasm, 3 times, I think. I get so lost in the sensations of sex, the in and out thrusts, the speed, the force, the press of DH's body against mine, that I can find it very difficult to keep count -- the number doesn't really matter to me, but it does to DH so I try to keep count.

DH would have liked to finish with anal, but not really being in the mood, I refused him. Sometimes, I just don't feel like it. DH seemed to be okay with my decision, as he kept thrusting, keeping me in that lovely sexual fog until he reached his peak and filled me with his special gift. (Ok, I know it's silly and flowery and trite, but I'm trying not to be too crude).

And after, we snuggled as we came down from our high and relaxed before going to sleep.

I got to mention to him how I had heard Dr. Oz on Oprah state that people should strive to have sex at least 4 times a week for optimal health (solo sex doesn't count, only partner sex). When he's home, we come pretty darn close. Unfortunately, he's out of town again (back on Friday, for the weekend), will be all next week including the weekend, and the following week he'll be home but we have a special project at work requiring extra long days starting at 4:30 a.m (I am so not a morning person). I don't anticipate much fun over the next few weeks. Darn it!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Teasing is Not Nice

I don't think I do any 'bratting' behaviours and when asked, DH says that in his opinion I don't. So, that being said, I'm starting to feel a little bratty.

Why, you ask.

Because DH is a teaser.

It's sooooooooo frustrating. He makes spanking comments, he gives a few good swats, and that's it.

Saturday play was limited as we were both too tired to get too worked up. And no action on Sunday, although there was teasing talk. About how would he reward me for exercising regularly (a good girl spanking); what would he do if I didn't keep up with the exercising (a bad girl spanking); a lot of 'masterspeak'; a random swat here and there.

And then last night, as I lay curled on my side, back to DH, he reached over and gave me several very firm spanks. I've got a Pavlovian response thing going on when he starts hand spanking me, especially in that position -- there is an immediate and strong reaction in my pussy. I can feel it immediately start swelling and with each spank I get wetter and more aroused. I know I am pushing my bottom back in expectation of the next spank. And I am really enjoying this, and he knows it.

And then he stops, rolls over, and goes to sleep. (I am constantly amazed at how quickly he can do that).


I am now totally frustrated, and left with no choice but to take care of myself, as quietly and as still as possible, otherwise I will not be able to relax and fall asleep.

This was not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. If DH is too tired to follow through, I wish he wouldn't even start. Drives me crazy. And if he's thinking a spanking and sex is too much work, then, heck, I'd settle for just the sex, to take the edge off. And it can be a straight forward quickie, no bells and whistles.

This frustration is what is leading to thoughts of bratting. The reason I haven't yet bratted (besides the fact that I don't consider it appropriate behavior for a grown woman -- another post, another time) is that I'm not convinced it would lead to the desired outcome -- a well spanked, very hot, very red bottom and intense sex.

Maybe, if it doesn't get too late, I can convince DH that a little 'play time' before sleep would be good, very good.

Now if I can just getting to follow through, and turn his teasing into reality.

Sunday, October 14, 2007


To anyone who may have tried to email me over the past week --

I was updating my blog settings last week and made a little typo while updating the email address. Imagine, just adding one little character, and suddenly I'm not getting any emails (not that I get many, but still). Not only did I fix the error, I did a test run, so I know with certainty that the email link in my profile is now working.

So, if you tried to email me and it didn't work (I don't know if you'd get an error message or not -- but if you haven't gotten a response from me, then you know I never got your message), please email me again. I love getting messages :)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Love Our Lurkers Day

Hey you!

Yeah, you. You know who you are. You're the one who comes here, reads this blog and never leaves a comment or emails me. What's with that? Are you trying to give me a complex?

Just kidding.

Having been a lurker, before I started blogging myself, I know how easy it is to read a blog, really like it and/or connect with something posted, but think "that's an old post," "others have commented already," "the blogger doesn't have any interest in what I have to say," etc.

Well, you're wrong, so wrong.

I know you come to my blog, and some of you come back again and again. But knowing you visit is not enough (what can I say, I'm needy). You don't need to leave big long dissertations (but they're okay if that's what you're into), a simple 'Hi, I like your blog' is more than enough to brighten my day. And you know what, I'll respond to your comment or email, no matter how long or how short -- I know how important feedback is. And it doesn't matter whether you want to comment on today's post or one from a month ago, I will still read your message and respond to it. You don't need to tell me your name or anything personal about yourself. What you say is up to you (just please don't be rude or cruel).

So, please, starting today, if you want to comment, ask questions, just say 'hi', whatever, please, please, please do it. And don't stop -- keep doing it, every time you want to.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Nothing to say

DH is out of town, again, and will be frequently the next few months. No reflection on blogging or spanking, but when he's not here, my inspiration is muted. Makes it difficult for me to focus and come up with something appropriate to write about here.

That said --

We had a mini disagreement over the phone today. And while he had some valid points, I do feel he exaggerated the situation, and I did not respond well to the way he spoke to me. If you've been following my blog, you are probably getting the impression that these situations between us occur on a weekly basis. Truly they don't, just for some reason in the past month we've been more testy with each other (I know some of you are thinking 'he needs to just spank her soundly and get it all out').

I know he's concerned that spanking has 'possessed' me, but I don't feel that way. I see it as something that we both enjoy and that really has helped us become closer. When we have a really good spanking session (he spanks me long and hard, and I'm marked and sore for the next few days -- a constant arousing reminder) followed by incredible multi-orgasmic (for me) sex, it just makes me feel more connected to him. He teases me about how blissed out I am after a session like this, but isn't that how it's supposed to be after we've given and received such intimate intense pleasure with each other?

We don't always include spanking in our intimate encounters, and I don't expect to. And I'm always open to anything DH wants to try, he just hasn't proposed anything lately.

I've told DH, repeatedly, but I'm not sure he really believes me (based on comments he's always making) that I've never cheated on him, have never come close, have never even wanted to. I can't even fantasize about cheating on him (if I fantasize about another man, then I am 'another' me in the fantasy - alternate reality). I don't even put myself in situations where it might even look like something illicit is going on. Yet he seems to have this distrust...

Quite frankly, I'm the one who should have issues trusting him. Not that he's cheated on me (he says he hasn't and I've never seen anything suspicious), but he was sexually wild and a partier before we met, not fully honest with me about himself (unknown to me he was married when we met -- a story for another post), and he's away from home so much. I am always at work, at home, or running errands. You tell me who has the opportunity. Yet he is constantly throwing accusations at me.

I don't know what the solution is. I love him and can't imagine not being with him, but when he gets so distrustful and accusing, or has one of his tantrums, it is so hard for me to trust and respect him. I rely on him to be the strong one that I can turn to when I need support and guidance. And I want to be his soft place when he's overwhelmed with work and other stresses.

And before anyone asks, yes I have told him these things, out loud and in emails. But I recognize I cannot make him truly listen and hear what I am saying, nor can I force him to change. He has to decide for himself how he wants to live his life and make any necessary changes. Just like I've been doing for the past few years.

Well, anyway, thanks for 'listening' to my rant. For someone who started this post thinking she had nothing to say, guess I ended up saying quite a lot.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Recent Stats

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who visits, to those of you who come back, and especially to you who comment and/or email me. While I started writing this blog as a way for me to express myself and a way to try and sort out my thoughts and feelings about submissiveness and spankings, I'm truly amazed that there are people out there who are interested in what I have to say.

I recently saw a quote from Ray Bradbury that really sums up why I write, have to write, regardless of what I write (not only this blog): You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Mainly for fun and out of curiosity, I use StatCounter to keep track of the number of visits, where visitors come from, and how they find me. (The counter itself is under my avatar.)

Since I've started keeping this blog regularly updated, I've made 21 posts (including this one) and have had over 4000 visits. You, my guests, come from 53 countries with the top 3 being: U.S. 63%; U.K. 10%; and Canada 6%. You come from huge metropolitan areas to small country towns; places I've visited, passed through, or lived, places I know about, places I want to visit, and places I've never heard of; you visit for a long while or just look and leave. You find me through other bloggers who have linked to me (My Bottom Smarts, All Things Spanking, Cherry Red Report, sub nouveau, Juno Henry), through websites (Spanking Art Wikipedia), and through search engines.

I really enjoy looking at the keywords that bring people to my blog. Beyond the basic "spank" and it's various versions, some of them just naturally lead me to want to comment on them, so here I go:

backsides bruised from spanking -- I have only one backside, and yes, it's been bruised by a spanking

big red bottom -- yes, it's big, too big, but it's only red when DH gets done with it

daughter has spankable butt -- ok, maybe she does, but I really don't think about it, and can't really remember the last time either daughter was spanked

dh submissive spank -- nope, I'm the submissive, not DH, so he spanks me, I don't spank him (although when he's having one of his rants, it does cross my mind)

I spanked my sisters bum -- nope, not ever, don't ever plan to

my husbands spanked me for punishment -- husbands? more than one? how does that work?

red bottom from spanking stories -- the stories make me want a red bottom, but unless DH prints them out, rolls them, and uses them to spank me...

spanking england -- that's rather a large goal, will your spanking arm hold up to the task?

autumn 2007 england's best logic puzzles -- I really hope this person was trying to find my blog, otherwise this would have been a big surprise

lexus dent and frying implements -- same as above, what a shock to find a spanking blog if you're looking for car repairs or cookware

spankability -- there's just something about this word :)

spanking robin -- I hope this means you really were looking for my blog and not some other Robin out there who gets spanked :)

Miscellaneous others: red bum spanking movies; hot red bottom spanked; red bottom spanking; spanking daddy bottom; red bottom hairbrush wife; red butt spanking; red bottom day; spanking silly; spanking express; very small bottom bending over; turned on by spanking; good sex

A final note: Please don't be afraid to comment or email me, I respond to everyone, just not always same day (I work and have a family). I love knowing that people read, and hopefully, connect with what I write here.

Friday, October 5, 2007


Thank goodness it's Friday. Just in general, I am usually so tired by the time I get to Friday that it's all I can do to get through work, let alone think about dinner. So my sweet hubby ordered pizza for the kids and then brought a slice up to me and shared his last hot wing with me, too.

To make the exhaustion worse, it's that time of the month, just in time for the weekend and our Saturday play night. Not exactly sure how things will play out tomorrow night -- I expect we'll still go out, and am hoping for a spanking, but we'll have to see what happens next (I'm guessing anal). And tomorrow is the last Saturday before DH spends the next 3 weeks travelling -- he'll be home for the next two weekends, but not the last weekend of the month. But even when he's home on the weekends, when he's been travelling he's so worn out that the weekends are pretty much taken up with recovering. Perfect period timing, not.

So, what do you do when it's that time of the month? Something about knowing that we "can't" (okay, more like neither of us really want to for a few days), just makes us want sex even more. So last night we're both horny. It started for me as I was reading a few blog postings, then while snuggling with DH, he switched from baseball to some soft porn movie we had recorded on the DVR (this DVR is connected only to the TV in our room, so the kids aren't likely to stumble across it), and made us both crazy horny. He started caressing me, insisted I stroke him, then he moved his hand down and started rubbing my clit, and before you know it he'd come and then I'd come, and we were able to fall asleep.

Another question: Do you watch porn? We don't that much, and to be honest, most of it is so cheesy and fakey that I just can't enjoy it (we will actually critique it, not very arousing). I prefer a good story with good acting, good sets, and production values, AND good sex. Nothing irritates me more when an actor, supposedly in the middle of mindblowing sex, turns to look dead on at the camera. I have found some foreign films (not porn, per se) with all of the above, but not much domestic (we both like the "Eyes of Desire" movies by Candida Royalle). So, we signed up with a rental company that delivers to your home, I've checked out reviews, and we've ordered some movies that are highly recommended as not only having good sex in them, but also meet my other criteria. I'll have to let you know. We received the first one yesterday, and since it has a spanking theme, I think we may have to watch it tomorrow during our play time.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Figuring Me Out, part 2

As I've said before, I've spent a lot of time the last few years trying to figure me out and what I want and need to be happy -- meaning lots of self help books, O! magazine, Internet searches, thinking, opening up to DH, etc. Part of the instigation for this was approaching 40. I found this really hard -- 30 was easy, 35 was no problem, but 40? Given the standard life expectancy 40 really is middle aged, chronologically (when I turned 30, my mother actually wrote in my card something about my now being middle aged -- if I was middle aged at 30, what did that make her at 54?). And I started thinking about about my hope and dreams and things I figured would never happen.

My dad died of cancer a few years ago and we found a journal he had kept for awhile during and around the time my parents marriage was falling apart (I was in high school). It was sad -- he wrote in there about the dreams he'd given up, always to please others (parents, wife) and he seemed to have very little happiness in his life. And how he was always waiting for things to be "just right" before doing things. I did not want to be like that, only having regrets, never doing what I wanted/needed, waiting till it was too late.

So, I started working on me and doing things I wanted to do. I started slow, mostly with books, fiction and non-fiction. I had never been a big fan of romance (can't stand bodice ripper covers; stupid, weak, ineffectual women; predictable plots; stupid euphemisms), but I had discovered Diana Gabaldon a few years earlier, then Sara Donati and Katie MacAlister. The covers were tasteful, characters seemed real and complex, plots were interesting, there was humor and pathos, and I could relate to these women. Reading these stories made it glaringly clear that I had no such romance or bond with my husband, and I most desperately wanted to have something somewhat similar to what the characters in these books had.

Contrary to popular opinion, this did not mean I listed all my husband's failings or worked out ways to get him to change. I knew that my life and marriage could only be changed if I changed myself. So that's what I started to do. It was not easy -- it never is when you're looking deep into yourself and determining what you like and don't like about yourself and what needs to be done to increase the likes and decrease the don't likes. And I will always be a work in progress for the rest of my life.

to be continued ...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Silly, Funny Spanking

After last night my youngest is obviously going to have the idea that daddy spanking mommy is funny and silly.

I was teasing her last night while fixing dinner. She had her back to me and I reached over and pinched her little bum. Since the dog was right next to her (the puppy that thinks my daughter’s a chew toy) she immediately assumed he had nipped her so yelled out his name. I started laughing. Unfortunately, the little one is extremely (overly) sensitive and my laughing led her to start pouting and making these horrid noises. I managed to cajole her out of the funk and everything was moving along just fine. Until daddy came home.

Mean mommy that I am, I had to tell daddy the whole silly story, while she was in the room (my mistake, I should have waited till DH and I were alone). The pouting and noises started again. Both DH and I started telling her that her reaction to the teasing was unacceptable, but we got no where. That’s when DH asked, “Do you want me to spank mommy?” in a way that makes it obvious that this is all fun and games. Well, of course she does; I’ve just upset her and seeing me get “punished” for it only seems right.

I was standing on the opposite of the kitchen island from DH and the little rugrat. DH walks around the island and gives me one swat. I start laughing – couldn’t help it. He looks at her and says, “should I spank her more?” The little monster nods, so now my other cheek gets a sharp crack from his hand. And this continued, DH asking if he should spank me more, and her nodding (with a smile that was getting ever larger), until I received about 6 spanks, and was laughing so hard I was crying. DH was laughing. So was the little one. (The older two were in the adjoining family room through all this, in sight and sound of the spectacle.)

So not a wild, erotic spanking episode, but fun and silly.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Making up is fun to do

DH and I have made up. I was still up when he came home Friday night (really early Saturday morning) and we talked and snuggled and had a make-up quickie.

Saturday night has become our date night, but this Saturday we decided to stay in, watch TV, drink some wine and really make up. While DH napped, I showered, got snacks and got the kids to bed. By the time I was done, he was up.

We watched some TV, regular movies, and some porn, had some red one and got things started. As usual I was snuggled up next to DH and he took my hand and guided it down to his already hard cock. He then started caressing my body, moving his hand down until to my pussy. Finding my panties in the way, I was instructed to remove them. Then he began touching me in earnest. It wasn't long till I was instructed to roll over onto my stomach -- you know what that means ... spanking time! After several warming spanks with his hand, DH decided it was time to kick things up a notch. He got off the bed and he told me to get into position (bent over pillows with knees at the edge of the bed). DH used his hands, the leather paddle, and the hairbrush. He'd give me several spanks, hard, then pause and caress, kiss, lick, finger, etc. At one point he even poured wine on my butt then licked it off. The contrast of cold wine on warmed butt, followed by warm tongue -- wow! He also did more of the love bites, so intense.

I don't necessarily do really well with the holding still and being quiet during a spanking. I've never yet had the urge to throw my hands back in an attempt to protect myself, and DH can spank VERY hard. So I was ordered more than once to be quiet (especially after repeated utteringsof "ouch") and to get back into position (when he hits that extremely sensitive area between the legs, I just cannot stay in position).

We've discovered that when I am in this position, with my legs off the bed, DH can stand right at my feet while spanking me, and I can use my feet to pleasure him. He even oiled up his cock so it would slide easier between my feet.

Hubby was in fine form Saturday night. Got my bottom good and hot, and my pussy good and wet, and then he was thrusting into me. He gets me so aroused, knows all the right things to do, that it doesn't take me long at all to orgasm. And the more he keeps thrusting into me, the more orgasms I have. When it's a Saturday night spanking date, I usually can't even keep count of them all I'm so lost in all the sensations.

And lately, a spanking seems to mean we're also going to have anal sex, and that night was no different. I always know this is what DH intends when he starts pouring oil all over my butt. He rubs it all over my cheeks and then down my crack, making sure he also coats his cock well. If you've never had anal, I don't know if I can adequately describe it. There's stretching, sometimes with pain (although not this night), a sense of being filled, and when he starts thrusting, I feel it all as tingles all along my spine up to the nape of my neck. I also feel it in my pussy, it seems to swell and throb even more, and as he thrusts ever harder and faster, balls bang into my clit and how can I not have a screaming orgasm with all those intense sensations flooding through my body. And as long as he doesn't come, and keeps thrusting into me, I will keep coming, until I'm almost delirious from the experience.

And we always end with lots of snuggling and cuddling, till we drift off to sleep.