Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hey All



Just a quick note ---
Hoping everyone had a wonderful holiday, whether it was Eid, Christmas or Kwanzaa. We had a nice quiet Christmas, just the 5 of us. And I got lots of spankings (and hot sex *great big happy satisfied grin* )-- Saturday the 15th, Saturday/Sunday the 22/23, Monday the 24th, and Tuesday the 25th. And I didn't have to ask for a single one; all were DH's idea (he's coming along nicely :D ). I'll get some details posted later, I promise (I jot notes down in MS Office One Note so I have good reminders of the details).

Now, a serious subject -- Benazir Bhutto and Pakistan.
I know I try to keep some of the details of us private, but this hits close to home for us because DH is originally from Pakistan. His parents, one sister, and both brothers all live there (one sister is here in the States). When he got up and saw the news this morning the first thing he did was call home. All but one brother live in Karachi, and the brother who lives in Lahore was in Karachi (he and his family had come to celebrate Eid with the family). Neither brother was home when the assasination and ensuing chaos happened. Brother1 was able to make his way through the insanity without harm to their parents home; brother2 was at his office, attempted to get home, but gave up and decided to stay at the office til things calmed down. It's a serious situation; everyone is shocked and no one seems to have any good ideas of what should happen next. It's just so hard to understand the willingness to kill someone just because you don't agree with their opinions, etc. Just horrible, no matter who is killed or who does the killing.
Please keep Pakistan in your thoughts and prayers -- if it falls to the fundamentalists, we're all in serious trouble.



Ok, off the soapbox.


If I don't make it here before the 1st -- I wish you all a New Year that is Happy, Prosperous, and Very Very Spanky!




SmileyCentral.com


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

Odds and Ends (just not my 'end', darn it)


I've mentioned before that there is no switching in my relationship with DH. He has no desire to be spanked and would never allow it -- he's the spanker and I'm the spankee. However, that doesn't mean we can't joke about spanking him. The other weekend, DH managed to irritate YC (unfortunately, that is very easy to do). This particular time he insisted on brushing her hair, something she is very insistent on doing herself. When daddy persisted, she sulked, wouldn't speak to him, answer his questions, or even look at him. In an act of desperation, as we were walking into a restaurant, I asked her, "Should I spank daddy?" Big smile and head nod. Of course, DH heard the question and saw her response. We shared a smile, knowing that THAT was never going to happen.

Later that same weekend we were doing a little shopping. While waiting in the check out line, I noticed a bamboo cutting board, about 12" long x 8" wide x 3/4" thick. I picked it up thinking that it would probably pack quite a wallop. As I was setting it down, I noticed DH watching me. He smiled and picked it up, testing it's heft, and then commented, "You know, I do need a new cutting board. Mine just isn't so good anymore. From the expressions & grins on our faces, we were obviously thinking the same thing -- potential implement. Didn't get it :( He backed down, but expressed later that he wished he'd gotten it. Oh well, maybe next time.

I find myself as I go through certain stores, looking at the merchandise and wondering... Hmm, that chair would go nicely in our bedroom -- I wonder how it would work for positioning... What a nice basket/case/chest -- be great for storing all our toys in ... Wonder what that belt/board/spoon/etc would feel like... Holy mack, I don't even want to know how that would feel!...

While grocery shopping this weekend, DH told me to stay put while he went to go get something. I responded, in all seriousness, "Yes, Dear." As he was walking away (already several yards away) he turned back to say, quite loudly, "No, not "yes, dear": "Yes, Master." I grinned and giggled -- how else to respond to a comment like that in a crowded grocery store?

And,yes, we had a lovely evening of sex, spankings, sex, and more sex (DH making up for being out town) -- but that's a post for another time :D


P.S. Just need to revisit my DH directed self-spanking of the other night. I have such a feeling of surreality about the whole thing -- such that while out with DH on Saturday, I actually had to ask him if it really happened. I think the situation is that since this blog is my only outlet for "talking" about spankings and spanking related subjects, sometimes there seems to be a disconnect with reality. If I could go into work or call up family or friends and say, "You won't believe what DH had me do last night..." and get the reactions and responses and discussion that would naturally follow, it would help seat the incident more firmly in my mind as something that truly did happen. It just has such a dream-like quality to the memory...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A First

The Dreaded Bath Brush


[I borrowed this picture from Grace's blog a day in the life. I have the exact same bath brush but no way to get a picture onto the computer. Thank you, Grace.]


Had some interesting conversations with DH today, one taking place at work. Considering the topic was BDSM/spanking and whether or not we should visit a couple of clubs in the area, the conversation while at work was difficult -- I sit in a cubicle in the back corner with one immediate neighbor (we share a 'wall') and one across a narrow walkway. It was not easy to have this sort of discussion while trying to keep my voice down and choose my words carefully. But DH was insistent we needed to talk then. I'm sure my neighbors must have heard some of my side of the conversation -- I could hardly look at them later out of embarrassment.


The second conversation took place this evening -- more of the above. He's worried that visiting one of these clubs might be too tempting for him and he might be inclined to stray. I keep telling him we go in as a couple, we leave as a couple, and if at any point either of us is uncomfortable we leave and we never have to go again. I think he's confusing swinging with what these clubs offer (obviously swinging may go on among members who meet through the clubs, but it's not the reason for these clubs). Then we talked about polyamory and what that means, then would I ever go to one of these clubs without him (i.e. without his knowledge/'permission', sneaking around), would I go by myself with his ok and let someone else spank me, then what if he went by himself without telling me (sneaking around/cheating). Good grief. Then, he said we could try swinging but only if we were separated. AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! This after my telling him I-don't-know-how-many-times that I am not looking for anyone else, that is not why I broached the subject of the clubs, not what I am after at all. Somewhere it has gotten twisted into his mind that clubs = orgy and he's having difficulty seeing that that doesn't appear to be the case here (mind, we've never been to either place, nor do we know anyone who has, but based on the information on their websites, this is so not the case). I'm just curious and feel this may be a way to learn from those more experienced. I can learn a lot from reading, but I'm very much a visual person and can learn a lot more through observation.


Part of this conversation was also clarifying for him what being a submissive personality means to me in terms of our relationship. Based on some of the things he said earlier, I wasn't sure he really understood about D/s. Intellectually I think he does, but emotionally perhaps not so well. And perhaps not quite so well how important it is for me to have him be dominant. He asked me how I would feel if I liked the clubs but he didn't so we never went again after a first visit -- would I be unhappy enough to leave him. My answer: Of course not. I don't need the clubs or the company of other like-minded people to be/feel submissive to him. That is between us and only us. I would, however, not be happy if there were no spankings or ways for him to be dominant and me to be submissive in our relationship. He also worries that he might ask/tell me to do something that I am extremely uncomfortable with and that I will do it just to please him. I tried to reassure him that if it were something that I felt was totally wrong I would tell him so and not do it. But, honestly, we've been together so long and know each other so well (most of the time) that I don't think he could come up with something I'd refuse. It might push my limits, make me physically, emotionally or mentally uncomfortable, but I'd expect that. [And here's where I make a little confession -- we don't have a safeword. So far he's never done anything to make me even begin to feel like I might need to use one; in fact, he usually stops long before I'd like him to. Since our spankings are erotic in nature, so far, I haven't felt like it was really warranted.]


So, finally, on to the "first" mentioned in the title (I know, I know, I get started and it all comes rambling out...)


The end of our second conversation ended with DH telling me to get out the dreaded bath brush (hence the picture at the top of this post) and spank myself with it, next to the phone, hard and loud so he could clearly hear it. Now, I have tried self-spanking, at my own instigation, and found it neither arousing nor punishing; but it is a good way to check out a new implement. But I've never had DH insist that I do something like this (and he did insist, with me questioning several times whether he was serious -- he'd never made a request like this before and I seriously thought he was kidding). I had to get out of bed, remove my robe (I wasn't sleeping in it but doing computer stuff before actually going to bed for the night), and go around to his side of the bed (all his 'toys' are in his bedside table). Once I got there, I picked the phone back up to get specifics: which implement (bath brush); panties on or off (on); how many (3 each side). I laid the receiver back down, facing me, got the bath brush out, bent over and gave myself 3 spanks to each side. But DH said not loud enough (darn panties), so I needed to do it again, louder and harder. Figuring it was the panties that muffled the sound, I pulled them down to mid thigh, bent over and did the 3 to each side again, harder, and thereby, louder than the first 6. This time DH told me he heard them, to put the brush away and to go to bed.


So here I am back in bed (sans robe, this time), with a somewhat sore backside (that brush is something else, even when wielded by me), sharing this experience, needing to get this all down while it's still fresh. DH really surprised me with this instruction -- he's never done anything like it before, and I've never mentioned anything about Dom-instructed self-spankings (although I've read about them). He had asked before if I'd ever spanked myself and I answered honestly that I had, more to try out the implement than anything else. Embarrassed as I was to spank myself at DH's command and in his hearing, it was also thrilling to have him go all Dom on me and give me a chance to be submissive -- just wish it had been in person so we could have the 'happy ending' after. And this came after he had just expressed some concerns (from earlier in this post: He also worries that he might ask/tell me to something that I am extremely uncomfortable with and that I will do it just to please him. I tried to reassure him that if it were something that I felt was totally wrong I would tell him and not do it. But, honestly, we've been together so long and know each other so well (most of the time) that I don't think he could come up with something I'd refuse. It might push my limits, make me physically, emotionally or mentally uncomfortable, but I'd expect that.) So I've definitely had some limits pushed tonight, in a totally good way. Don't know what, if anything, this means for our future, but it seems to me it's a good sign. Maybe moving beyond solely erotic spankings...?


As a final note: I know the bath brush is available in multiple stores, and is reasonably priced, but spankees, you might want to re-think a decision to buy. This puppy really stings!!! And I'm not the only one to express this painful opinion. Of course, irony of ironies, I was the one who bought this, looking at it as a pervertable from the get go... If I'd only known then what I know now :\

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Holiday Stresses

Webfetti.com


I've seen a few fellow bloggers (Journey to the Darkside, Spanky Loves Kallisto, Tales From The Top, to name a few) lamenting the stresses of the holiday season, and thought I'd add my two cents.

We used to get really stressed by the holidays, but over the last few years things have changed.

DH's family doesn't observe Christmas, so our traditions have their basis in what I grew up with, then tweaked to fit us. This also meant that the brunt of holiday activities fell to me -- cards, decorating, meals, shopping, etc. A few years ago, I decided I'd had enough.

Cards -- used to do them, but not anymore. I would stress about the cards I was sending, then feel the need to customize cards and envelopes, worry that I was forgetting someone, worry about getting them mailed in time.... So, I stopped. We never got that many, and it just seems like if the only contact with someone is the annual holiday card, are we really 'friends'?

Tree -- we've gone artificial. We could never agree on the real tree, they've gotten more expensive and no one would be responsible for keeping it watered (except me).

Shopping -- limit it to children (11 nieces/nephews + one more on the way) and one large gift per family. This year we actually got special gifts for my sibs and their spouses while on our cruise, then limited it to $10 per child, spent in one store on one day, wrapped that same day, then mailed the next business day. Online shopping for my mom and stepmom.

Meals -- family tradition was ham, but DH doesn't eat pork (or want the kids to), so this has been adjusted to be whatever the family decides on. We've done turkey, chicken, enchiladas, beef wellington (with mushrooms not pate). And judging by Thanksgiving, all three kids can now really help so it's not all me.

Decorating -- it's a family activity, but we really try not to go overboard. Whatever goes up will have to come down.

Parties -- we've never given one and are rarely invited (sounds pretty pathetic, huh?). i really do not enjoy large social gatherings, I'm shy and uncomfortable and tend to end up by myself in a corner. DH realizes this and doesn't push. And having grown up in a tourist town, I really don't enjoy community celebrations/festivals. I like the lights and decorations and music, but not the crowds.

Travel -- up until about 3 years ago we did a lot of Christmas travel. Not anymore. We've put our feet down and told family members that if they really want to see us, it's their turn to travel. And this is not driving a few hours travel. All my family is over a thousand miles away. It takes an entire day just to get there -- hour drive to the airport, wait a couple of hours for a flight that you hope is not delayed or over booked, several hour flight, wait to disembark, wait for luggage, wait for ride, at least an hour drive to final destination. All with hundreds of other families doing the same thing and stressed by the whole process. No thank you, not anymore.

So, you can see we've really simplified. We spend a nice quiet holiday, doing what we want to do, relaxing, going to the movies, whatever. Holidays are no longer something to be dreaded.

Now if I could just get DH to give me stress spankings when it does get to be too much... :)

Monday, December 10, 2007

CSI, Stats and Coming Attractions

Anyone out there watch CSI? Did you catch the last episode -- Cockroaches? Warrick hooks up with an exotic dancer and they head to a hotel. He's been drinking and popping pills and is obviously out of it, but in the middle of his ramblings he clearly says, "You're a bad girl. You need a spanking. You need to be dealt with." Just one more example of spanking and D/s references going mainstream.

Last post I mentioned that I had finally passed 10,000 unique hits and over 13,000 pageloads. Here are some specific stats to go with that:

78 different countries (60% United States; 14% United Kingdom; 6% Canada; 4% Germany) -- 13 0f these I've at least passed through

49 of 50 United States (What, no one from New Mexico visits my blog? Why not? Or is StatCounter missing something?)

309 different "keywords" have directed people to my blog. Some of these indicate that people were searching specifically for my blog, others I'm not so sure I'm what they were looking for. Keywords range from one word (belt, bratting, kids, pervertables, robins, sex, spank, spankability, spankable, spanking) to detailed phrases (a well spanked bottom, asking for a spanking, butt bent over for the hairbrush, fuck my big red spanked bottom, give as many spanks on my butt as you want please, spanked to submission and red bottom).

Now, I'm not sure if whoever entered 'belt' was looking for adult spankings and sex, but I can be fairly sure that the following were not:
  • kids
  • robin red breast template
    bathbrush sweden
  • masturbate man
Let me take this chance to apologize to those who accidentally ended up here. There's a reason for the advisory at the top (just in case the title and picture don't clue a person in).

Keywords that seem to be directly related to my blog:
  • funny silly
  • funny spanking
  • lovebites spank
  • red bottom blog
    robin red bottom
  • robin spanked
  • silly spanking
  • spanking red bottom blog
  • what did dh get me
  • why teasing is not good

Some I wish applied to me:
  • he spanks me regularly [not yet, but we seem to be getting there]
  • husband spank me with a belt [not nearly enough]
  • leather my backside [please...]
  • my husband knew I needed a spanking [getting there...]
  • red sore bottom from her spanking [not nearly often enough]
  • small bottom spanked [I wish it were small, sigh]
  • spank my little bottom [sigh]
  • spanked everyday for a week [not sure I could handle it, but would like to try]
  • spanked long and hard [not long enough or hard enough yet]
  • spanking to destress [like to try this]
  • spanking your little wife's red bottom [not a little wife, sigh]
And some I just don't get:
  • dent a hubby
  • get a spanking watch
  • pan's people most spankable bottoms
  • spanking my husband breasts
  • tracy spanking

Stories about:

  • DH's shoe
  • Tuesday Night Surprise
  • Birthday Spankings (I got 2 -- one for my birthday and one for his -- lucky me)
  • Bamboo cutting board, spanking daddy, bathbrush and more

Just as soon as I find the time to finish them. Soon, I promise.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!

Yep, yep, yep -- it's my birthday today. Whoo hoo. :D

Considering how things have been between DH and me lately, really wasn't sure how things would go today. Not too badly, as it turns out.

Only took me 20 extra minutes to get to work, and that was only because some people don't know how to drive on freshly plowed and salted roads. Sheeeeesh -- 15 minutes to go a mile at one point. And it was a straight, mostly flat stretch of road, no intersections, no lights, well plowed, no accidents -- don't know what the problem was.

Anyway, got to work and there was an e-card from one of the other facilities. And then DH called to wish me happy birthday -- and we actually had a pleasant conversation. Then my sister called while taking my nephews to school, and they all wished me a happy birthday, too. And the girls in the office where I work sent me an e-card.

And then, the topper. See the picture? DH sent me flowers! At work! Where everyone could see them! (Mine aren't exactly like the picture, but similar). Now, I couldn't share the note with my coworkers -- and I have to wonder what the flower people thought of it. Here's what he wrote:

No more fighting, just more actions you know what I mean?
Or you will not get spanking! Happy Birthday!


Can you see me trying to explain that if I'm naughty I won't get a spanking? As it was, they all smiled when I hid the card (it's all women in the office). I'm not holding my breath for the spanking -- he says he will, but there's a distinct lack of follow thru lately. Although last year I did get spanked, twice in one week -- once for my birthday, then 3 days later for his. Works for me :D We've had a few conversations just while I've been writing this. And they've gone well. Determined he wants a special unwrapped present for his birthday -- ME! Looking like it may be a very good weekend.

[Note: we haven't been fighting, just not talking. OC made a comment that was disrespectful to DH, he called her on it, I supported him, and somehow I ended up in the doghouse. I know he's been stressed by things as work, but that's no excuse to be nasty to all of us. When he gets like that, it's just easier to keep my distance until he's ready to be nice again. Of course, work has been more stress this week and then he got scammed & $1500 was removed from his bank account. So heaven only knows who's coming home from Mexico -- DH or his evil twin.]

Talked to my mom last night, so not sure she'll call again today. I had called to make sure they hadn't been blown away or washed away in the storms, spoke with my stepfather, and then mom called me later. She called me an "old lady" but then didn't like it when I referred to a 70-year-old coworker as elderly. So, I responded, "If I'm an old lady, then you're elderly." She laughed. Of course, this is the same woman who called me middle-aged when I turned 30. Personally, I believe that how old you are is determined more by your attitude than the calendar. Don't know why she's trying to age me -- only makes her older.


Oooh, and an added plus -- according to StatCounter today my blog has reached a milestone: over 10,000 unique hits (almost 13,000 pageloads). Please keep coming back, reading and commenting and emailing. Silly, but true, it gives me a thrill to see my stats increase and to see messages show up in my inbox. Please keep it up.
SmileyCentral.com

SmileyCentral.com

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Today

So, things may be getting better. DH is out of town but we did have a mature, normal phone conversation today... I guess we'll see when he gets home.

Hope my readers in the Pacific northwest are ok -- nasty weather situation there. I've got family out there -- my mom's on the Olympic Peninsula & my brother and his family are in the mountains -- they're all ok. I grew up out there (teen years) and went to university in Washington for 4 years, so I really know what it's like there.

And same goes for everyone in the midwest and northeast -- here comes the snow. Stay warm and safe.

Meanwhile, here are some views from my home. Just because we're out of sorts doesn't mean we can't enjoy the season. I apologize for the quality -- these are snaps from videos (we don't have a good digital camera at this time, and while I have a camera in my phone, I don't have anyway to get them off the phone and onto the computer).

Here's a couple of views of our tree...





And from my bathroom, bedroom, & dining room, respectively....






Yep, it's snowing. Kids will have fun shoveling tomorrow after school (yeah, right, I can hear the complaining already). Hopefully the roads are clear for my commute tomorrow. I've made it in heavy snow before, but it easily doubles the time. Yuck. And while we're getting snowed on, DH is in sunny, warm Mexico. Must be rough.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

A Christmas Meme

Webfetti.com






I picked this up from Nothing Random.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!!
Change all the answers so that they apply to you and post it to your blog.
'Tis the Season to be NICE and KIND to each other.!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper, mostly, but the occasional bag.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? Usually at New Year's.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yep, in moderation.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Don't know. My memories are not so much of what I received but of the people I was with.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We used to, but I don't think I've since it since we moved, ummm, 3 years ago. It's really more of a secular holiday for us.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Everyone. I do not do well with gift buying, just can't figure out what people would like.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Myself :D

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Not sure; having a hard time remembering any gifts, good or bad.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? I used to mail them, but haven't done cards the past few years.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Wonderful Life, Santa Claus is Coming to Town

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Pfeffernusse cookies, divinity, ham, rosettes, bacon waffles, klejner cookies, grandma's potato salad, watermelon rind pickles, rice pudding (all from my childhood)

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both

17. Favorite Christmas song? Way too many to list them all -- Christmas Wrapping, Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby & David Bowie, Bellow Wood by Garth Brooks.... I've been posting about some of them over on my other blog.

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Home. We used to travel almost every year (no family nearby), but since my Dad died we've chosen to stay home. Much less stress and hassle.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Comet, Donder, Blitzen, & Rudolph. And I didn't go look this up anywhere.

20. Angel on the treetop or a star? Varies, but last couple of years it's been a star (I am way too picky about how the angel should look).

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve -- my grandparents always had it that way (supposedly a Danish tradition) and since DH came with no Christmas traditions of his own, we've carried that over.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Seeing Christmas aisles in the stores before Halloween, Bell Ringers (I know it's for a good cause, but can we say imminent migraine), coworkers who play the all holiday music all the time radio station way too loud.

23.. What I love most about Christmas? The lights, the decorations, the music, the foods, the friendlier attitude, the joy.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Out of Sorts

Don't know what the deal is this last month, but tensions are high -- meaning that while I do have spanking related posts I could write, I just can't do it. I'm concerned that if I really sit down and start typing away, I will end up venting and this will turn into one big bitchfest -- not at all what this blog is supposed to be about. And while I do have the other blog where I could bitch away, I really don't want to dwell on how miserably hellish things have been all month.

So, in an effort not to ramble on into nasty venting, I'm keeping this short and sweet, and hoping that everyone else out there is enjoying spankings and sex and loving, supportive companionship. And for those with blogs, keep on posting so I can live vicariously through you :D

Friday, November 23, 2007

Glamour Poll -- Sexy Do's & Don'ts

I was just reading the December 2007 Glamour magazine and one of the articles was the results of a poll on sexual do's and don'ts. The published results were based on a sampling of 2,000 of the respondents from an online poll with 10,000+ respondents at glamour.com and menshealth.com.

Along with foreplay, toys, and porn, they also asked questions about anal sex and S and M.

Anal Sex --
* Trying it just once, just to see --
63% of women and 81% of men say it's a DO
*Making it a regular part of your repertoire --
81% of women and 57% of men say it's a DON'T (one woman's comment was "ow", and my response to that is that they're just not doing it correctly then).

A Little S and M --
*Getting tied up or tying up your partner --
70% of men and women say it's a DO (a woman commented: "It can be really hot to forfeit control and feel a little vulnerable, as long as you trust the person)
*Some playful spanking --
77% of men and women say it's a DO (a side note on this one mentions that in 2004, 63% of respondents called spanking a DO, and now it's up to 77%)

So, what's my point in posting this information? I do it because so many of us for so long were made to feel as though something was wrong with us for enjoying anal sex and/or D/s activities. When you see that in 3 short years the number of people who admit to enjoying spanking has gone up 14%, I can't help but feel like saying, "see, see, it's not weird or strange or crazy -- more people like it than don't." And I think the blogging activities of Bonnie, Grace, Annie, and all those other inspiring spankos (far too many for me to list here) who have been blogging for at least the last couple of years have certainly helped people (like me) not only accept but embrace their spanko-ness (not a real word, but you know what I mean).

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sleepy & Horny - Oh The Dilemma

I posted prematurely last night about no fun. No spanking, but definitely sex.

Right after I posted, I shut down my computer and turned off the light. I guess 3 hours of sleep had somewhat refreshed DH as he rolled over and spooned me. I have this little habit of not wearing much to bed generally, but when I shower before bed I wear nothing at all -- something to do with being shaved, scrubbed, oiled/lotioned and not wanting to spoil it by putting any clothing on. So, having spent the time to shower last night, I crawled into bed completely nude. DH took his time rubbing his hands over my lightly oiled body, paying more attention to my bottom than any other part -- rubbing, patting, squeezing, light spanking. At some point he whispered in my ear that he was horny (no duh) and thrust his hips forward so a very hot & hard part of his anatomy pressed up invitingly against my bottom. I couldn't help but thrust back, making appreciative noise. There's just something about the feeling of a hard cock pressing up against my bottom and the way it just fits just right.

DH went on to tell me that he'd had four dreams in a row where he was having sex with me. He was confused about whether he was dreaming or was he awake, were we really having sex... Finally he woke up enough to realize that they were dreams and that in order to be able to fall asleep he was just going to have to make the dreams reality.

I should mention that DH has been horny ever since he came home on Friday. Friday night he slept curled around me (usually we're not touching during sleep -- my issue not his as I find it very difficult to sleep while being held), then there was a quickie Saturday morning, and more sex Saturday night (briefly described in yesterday's post), and then last night. No spankings, but plenty of sex.

So, DH stroked and touched, then he took my right hand and guided it to his cock, directing me to stroke and squeeze (he's always telling me I have magic hands *grin*). I offered to give him a handjob, a chance to get the release without having to do all the hard work of fucking me, but he turned my offer down and then rolled me onto my back. DH's right hand moved its way down my body, eventually reaching the sensitive creases at the tops of my inner thighs. He played there for awhile, enjoying the slick smoothness of my shaved and lightly oiled skin, before moving onto my mound and then sliding his fingers down into my moist slit. DH also has magic hands, and he proved it by fingering me to shuddering orgasm.

Knowing how tired DH was, I offered to try being on top, with try being the operative word as neither of us is really in the right shape for it. But try I did, reverse cowgirl, so he could see his favorite part of my anatomy. After a few minutes of this, DH decided doggy-style was the way to go, so I was instructed to get on all fours and he quickly moved into position behind me and thrust in. Being already primed by the manual orgasm, it did not take me long to orgasm from penetration, and again, and again. Screaming into the pillow -- I am so not quiet during sex, just can't be and still fully enjoy the experience. If I have to concentrate on being quiet, I can't concentrate on all the delicious feelings DH is treating me to. Now, DH is quiet, but I can always tell when he's about to come as his breathing changes, plus I can feel him swell and get even bigger and harder, so it's not unusual for me to come again at the same time he does. And so it was last night, my screaming and shuddering as he filled me with his hot, liquid gift.

And after... snuggling and cuddling and relaxing post-coitus till we were calmed and ready to fall asleep. And we always sleep better after a good fuck :D

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Where's My Spanking?

So here I am snuggled up in bed with my laptop. Yes, DH is home. No, we are not having any fun tonight.

Earlier this evening there had been a definite mention of a good girl spanking. After feeling like crap yesterday, I got up this morning and did all laundry including bath rugs and our comforter; made the bed; dusted the bedroom furniture; cleaned up in the bathroom (DH's side was a mess); cleared away some piles; cleaned up my closet; vacuumed our bedroom, bathroom, bedroom office, upstairs landing, and YC's bedroom. While I worked inside, DH was hard at work outside planting bulbs and raking. Mixed in with all our hard work was constant pushing at the kids to get their assigned chores done. All in all, a tiring day.

While working on dinner, I mentioned to hubby how much work I'd done and the spanking conversation started.

"I'll have to check, and if it's not clean like I like it, you'll get a spanking." Said with a big grin on his face.

"And if it is good, I'll get a good girl spanking." Said with much hope and excitement.

"A good girl spanking? Yeah... and some good sex."

So I'm cleaning up after dinner, doing the last bit of laundry, making sure everything's done, and DH comes upstairs, reclines on the bed to watch TV, and falls asleep. AAAAGGGGGHHHHH.

(I shouldn't complain too much as last night we did have sex -- I was fingered to orgasm, then told to get in position where I received a small spanking before he entered me; it didn't take long for my first orgasm, then another, then he pulled out and entered me anally, where I orgasmed again. And all while I still wasn't feeling 100% well.)

Now I'm going to have to try and collect on the promise, and this is not the first time a spanking has been promised and never received. I just don't seem to be able to get him to understand what it means to me to have him spank me. (Wish I could get him to read some of the other blogs out there...) Just have to keep reminding myself "four day weekend, four day weekend" and hope I get what I need.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

DH is Home

Arc De Triomphe

DH got home yesterday from his most recent trip (France, Denmark & Sweden). We're taking it easy this weekend as he's tired from travelling & I'm suffering some unusual aches and pains (if they're still around tomorrow, it's off to the doctor I go on Monday). Plus we have a four-day weekend coming up.

He did share a little gem with me:

While in France, in the hotel, he turned on the TV, and what did he see?

Spanking!!

He has no idea of the movie (he doesn't speak, read, or understand French), but he watched the man spank the woman with a ping-pong paddle, and then they switched and she spanked him. And he found himself excited enough by the movie to, well, you know....

This is amusing to me, as DH is constantly telling me that he only enjoys spanking because he is spanking me and he loves any contact at all that he can have with my backside. I think he still has some denial issues about the whole spanking and dominance thing and is uneasy with the thought that he really does enjoy controlling me and doing things to me that (obviously) cause pain. I can understand -- it took me a while to accept that I'm a submissive and a spanko, and I had several months head start. And it's certainly not considered PC or feminist-minded to want these things (although we do notice more and more references and comments about spanking and BDSM in mainstream shows, magazines, & books).

I know switching was Bonnie's MBS Brunch last week, that I just didn't get a chance to comment on, but I can state here that DH has stated in no uncertain terms that I will NEVER spank him, that he's the spanker, not the spankee and never will be. And that's fine with me. I do sometimes wonder what it might be like to be the top, but if it were ever to happen it would be more as a role-play than any sort of way of life. I know it works for some people, it's just not right for me and DH.

So, it's been weeks since the last spanking, and it doesn't like any this weekend, probably not til next weekend, but who knows, if I'm lucky DH may decide he just needs to ... Of course, I'll let you know.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Meme: Me A to Z

Just for fun, and to take up some space, thought I'd share this. Found it on another blog, just can't remember which right now (still fighting zombie-itis).



Available or Single?
Neither – monogamously married.

Best Friends? My hubby

Cake or Pie? Cake, usually

Drink of Choice? Non-alcoholic – water, followed closely by Dr. Pepper
Alcoholic – White Russian, Chocolate Martini, Mojito

Essential Item? Laptop, books, water

Favorite Color? Emerald green

Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears

Hometown? Somewhere in the U.S.

Indulgence? Books & high-quality European chocolates, staying up late & sleeping in

January or February? February, cuz spring is in sight

Kids & Names? I have 3, known to those who read my blogs as Oldest Child (OC), Middle Child (MC), & Youngest Child (YC)

Life is Incomplete Without? Special people to share it with

Marriage Date? 8 June 1993

Number of Siblings? 3 – 1 sister, 2 brothers – all younger

Oranges or Apples? Apples (but absolutely not Red Delicious – yuck, yuck, yuck)

Phobias/Fears? Falling, not heights (6” and shaky is just as bad as 60’ & shaky, but 600’ and secure/stable is no problem)

Favorite Quote? Writing & reading is to me synonymous with existing. – Gertrude Stein

Reasons to Smile? Beautiful weather, silly kids, good books, a lazy day, blissful sex

Tag 3 People? Nope, do it if you want to

Unknown Fact About Me? I was not born in the U.S.

Vegetable You Hate? Brussel sprouts

Worst Habit? Letting things pile up (drives my hubby crazy)

X-rays You’ve Had? Left hand, head

Your Favorite Foods? Chocolate, apples, peanut butter M&Ms, good steak

Zodiac? Sagittarius

Monday, November 5, 2007

Still Here ...

Just checking in. I will post something spanking related later this week, but in the meantime, if you want to read about my crazy last week, I've posted about it on my other blog Robin's Nesting Spot. I'm just too freaking tired to repeat it all here, especially since it's not even remotely spanking related (except for how it relates to not getting any spankings, or anything else , for the last week).

Monday, October 29, 2007

A Whole Week Gone!

Can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. I've started a couple of posts, saved the drafts, but haven't finished them.

When DH travels I have a very hard time sleeping -- I usually stay up til the wee hours reading, playing computer games, and/or watching TV. You'd think I could use the time to blog, but that requires too much mental effort at 1am (or later).

Also when he's not here, neither is my inspiration.

The two extra long work days didn't help either (2 hours drive each way, then hours of mostly boring meetings in very uncomfortable chairs). I had to get up an hour earlier than usual each day -- miserable. Then being two days out of the office meant extra tough days Thursday and Friday as I tried, and failed, to get caught up. And by end of day Friday my back was killing me.

Saturday I got up, went to the chiro then came home and cleaned house in preparation for DH coming home. He got home after 9pm and we were both too tired to go out, or have any other fun. Sunday was relaxing, with just a couple of errands to run -- DH spent most of it napping.

So, now it's a new week, and it's going to be even crazier than last week. Tomorrow is end of month, usually a long day, but since it's also the day before physical inventory, there will be even more work. Then Wednesday & Thursday (and possibly Friday) I'm supposed to be at work at 4:30 am (not a typo -- a.m. as in the black before the sun even wakes up morning), and since it's an hour drive to work, I'll be up at 3 and leaving at 3:30. If I'm starting that earlier, I must be getting off early, right? Wrong. I'm in charge of tag control, which means as long as counting is going on, I need to be there controlling tags, and last I heard they don't expect to stop until 6pm. DH will be taking our youngest trick-or-treating (she doesn't understand why mommy can't do it).

I am going to be very close to dead on Saturday.

So, while I may peek in on other blogs, and check my stats here, don't be surprised if another week goes by before I get a spanking related post on here.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Tinkering and Fires

Nothing's wrong with your computer or your vision. I've been tweaking the template for my blog, changing widths, removing graphics, changing to blogrolling for my list of blogs I've linked to. For the time being I will keep both my old and new lists on the blog, as they're not exactly identical.


For any of my readers in SoCal -- my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how frightening it is to have to evacuate in the face of wildfires, having been there myself. I hope you are safe and protected and finding comfort, and if you have had to evacuate, that you will soon be able to return home (and find it still standing and undamaged).

Monday, October 22, 2007

DH Knows Revisited

I have received a couple of comments on this post and just feel like I need to say more.

Why didn’t I tell DH at the outset what I was doing? Two reasons: 1. I am a little apprehensive about what his response might be to some of what I’ve written (although I do think that overall it has been positive); and 2. He just won’t get it.

1. I love my husband (I think that’s come through very clear), but we are very different in quite a few ways and these differences have, in the past, led to some major, relationship threatening, misunderstandings. I find that I can say something, meaning ‘a’ to me, and DH hears ‘1’ and gets all worked up, becoming very accusatory and offensive. I, of course, take this all personally, and usually end of crying and at a loss because I’ve done nothing to warrant the accusations. We’ve discovered that taking the time to write down what we are thinking and feeling, generally in emails, helps us communicate much better than we do face-to-face. The writing, I believe, gives us each a chance to really think about what we’re feeling/thinking/meaning as well as a chance to write it out as clearly as possible, and then gives us the time to ponder our response.

Based on this background, obviously I would have concerns that he might read one small piece of one post and get all worked up, without bothering to go further and put it all in the context of the entire blog. However, if he really wants to read what I write, I have no problem providing him with the address, etc. so that he can do so. I would just have to be ready to face whatever his reading stirs up. (Forewarned is forearmed).

Also, DH goes back and forth on the whole spanking thing. He gives the attitude that it’s not his thing, that he’s only doing it for me, and that I am way too obsessed with it, but when I push him a bit, he will confide that he does enjoy spanking me and that he finds it very exciting. Given his inner conflict and discomfort about all things spanking, he might not be so thrilled to find me relating our experiences in explicit detail.

2. DH is neither a reader nor a writer. I don’t think in all our years together that I have ever seen him read a novel (he’s says he did when he was younger, but I don’t have any evidence to support this). He rarely even reads for what might be termed ‘fun’ – not related to work or school, but something he’s interested in. He gets a few magazines on various topics, and seems to read some of them. The last book that he just read was non-fiction about health.

Since reading and writing are not things he enjoys, he really cannot understand my need to do these things. I am a voracious reader – sci-fi, fantasy, contemporary, historical, adventure, fiction, non-fiction, magazines – pretty much anything I can get my hands on (as proven by the overflowing shelves and teetering piles in our bedroom). And, I think, for some people, writing just goes hand in hand with reading. I have stories and poems that I have written starting in elementary school. I never had any issues with writing all through school, whether it was fiction or non-fiction reports – and generally received good marks for whatever I wrote. And today, beyond, the blogs, I am still jotting down poetry, images, and stories that pop into my head.

I listen to a lot of music and have found some lyrics that describe this need to write, for me anyway:
o Fidelity by Regina SpektorI hear in my mind all these voices, I hear in my mind all these words [Kinda make me sound psychotic :P]
o Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield – pretty much the whole song; I know it’s about life not being predetermined and making your own choices. But it describes the general practice of writing so well – pen in hand, blank page, not being able to find the words, reaching for something in the distance, no one else can do it for me, etc.
o Breathe (2 AM) by Anna NalickIt’s 2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song/If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,/Threatening the life it belongs to
I’m sure I could come up with others, given the time.

To finish up I’m going to share a ‘funny’ but true story about a ‘story’ I did write that DH saw.
Quite a long while ago, I had written a ‘story’ about a man and a woman in a hotel room, post-disciplinary spanking. Not being comfortable with others reading my writing (or really even having anyone to share with), this story was tucked away in a pile of other papers and magazines. Somehow, this one particular pad of paper ended up in the middle of our bed (I didn’t put it there, it wasn’t there when I left for work – and I was last out of the house that morning, and DH was first home – mystery) and of course, DH just had to pick it up and start reading. He got the absurd idea that this was my way of telling him I was having an affair. It took an incredible amount of talking on my part (trying not to snicker and snort at the ridiculousness) to get him to understand that it was just a story – nothing more, nothing less. And that I write all the time, about all sorts of things.

So, DH knows that I read and write, but he doesn’t understand my need, and the blogging falls right into this inability to understand. I am no longer hiding that I blog, and I share information about comments, other blogs I read, data from StatCounter, etc. And that seems to be all DH needs – for now, at least.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Friendly Reminder...

Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon


October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (at least in the U.S.) -- have you had your annual mammogram yet?

I did, just this past week. Believe me, it is not a pleasant experience to have your breasts pushed and pulled and placed just right, and then squashed. There's nothing quite like having a part of your body that you consider beautiful and sexy and sensual handled like so much meat (visits to the gyno are ickily similar). But it's only 5 - 10 minutes once a year. And considering that it just might save my life, it's an unpleasantness I'll put up with.

This was my third annual mammogram. And if you're doing the math (40 years old now minus 3 years = 37 at first mammogram), you're aware that I had my first one earlier than generally recommended. This is because my mom had breast cancer. She went through treatments (never even lost her hair) and has now been cancer free, and considered cured, for more than 10 years. I don't know whether the cancer was discovered during an annual mammogram or thru self-exam, but now that there is a family history (no other blood family members on either side that I know of have had breast cancer), plus I have a few other health issues that raise my risk, I'm not taking any chances. If it's going to happen, I would rather catch it earlier than later.


luv ur breasts
Custom Smiley
So, ladies, if you haven't had your mammogram yet this year, get it done; and make sure to do your monthly self-exams.

Gentlemen, encourage the ladies in your life to get their mammogram. And those monthly exams, you might consider helping out with those, make them more fun than chore.

Wink

Thursday, October 18, 2007

DH Knows

SmileyCentral.com

Well, DH knows I'm blogging. He doesn't quite understand 'blogging' but he understands that I am writing personal stuff and putting it on the Internet.

About a month ago I had mentioned that I was sure DH didn't know about this blog (Spanking Fanatic? Moi?). I was right -- he was basically clueless. But I thought he knew and was reading it but not saying anything to me (I don't know why he wouldn't say anything).

Why did I think this? Because of some of the information showing up in StatCounter. I was seeing hits in the morning from an IP/ISP that looked suspiciously like what I would think his work address would look like (and the referring link was suspicious, too). Then when he was out of town for work, in the late evening (when he'd be back in his hotel) I'd get hits from where he was.


And then little comments he made about 'red bottom' and 'readaholic' -- both terms that I associate with this blog.


So I'm going a little nuts, thinking he knows, but why isn't he saying anything, hashing over my posts trying to decide if I've said anything that he might be upset about. But I'm hoping it's not him, just a massive coincidence. So I kept track again when he went out of town, and the same thing happened -- no 'local' hits but 'travel' hits.


This past Saturday, while we were out, after a little liquid courage, I got the nerve up to say something to him. And it's not him! But now he's bugged out that someone he may know through work is reading what I write here. And it's not like he can go around asking if someone is reading his wife's spanking and sex blog ;D


And he's travelling again, and this time we're not seeing the pattern. So, we don't know, I don't want to know, don't really care who it is. Not likely I'm ever going to come into contact with them. I've tried to be careful on here to only give my name, no info about where we live (other than U.S.), where we work, family names, anything that might easily lead anyone to us.


And DH has decided he does not want to read my blogs, doesn't want to even know what they're called or what their addresses are. He has decided this because he is afraid that he might read something I've written that may upset or anger him. I have mixed feelings about this; if he reads it might help him understand me better, but if he doesn't like what I've written then I'm in for it. Oh, well. If he changes his mind and asks me, I'll give him the addresses.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Monday Fun

After my last post, I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally.

I made sure all the kids were in bed on time. I had exercised and cleaned up and got ready for bed.

When DH came in, I snuggled up to him. And gently began to caress him -- stomach, chest, thighs, legs, hips. Everywhere but 'there.' Eventually, he caught on and began to caress me in return. Usually, caressing by DH includes spanks, and such was the situation Monday night, after asking me if I wanted a spanking. I didn't say it, but thought, 'well, duh.' I did mention how his teasing Sunday night left me hot and bothered, and it just wasn't nice to leave me in that condition.

So we kissed and caressed and stroked and spanked until DH told me to remove my panties. I decided to do a little 'teasing' of my own while removing them -- I got on my knees, back to DH, and very slowly slid them down, while presenting my backside to him, with a few wiggles and back thrusts thrown in for good measure (DH loves my butt; he tells me this all the time -- I think his biggest worry if I were to ever lose my excess weight is that my butt will disappear). It wasn't long till DH was good and hard and I was good and wet, at which time I was told to get in position (on hands and knees at the edge of the bed). And I'm thinking, as I hasten to obey, 'Oh, goody, spanking time.'

Yep, yep, yep. And all hand. Not as long or as hard as I would have liked, but some deliberate spanking is much better than none at all. And it was a weeknight with work the next day, so I really couldn't expect something too long and drawn out .

And of course, no spanking is really complete (at least for us) unless it includes lots of caressing, kissing, licking, and fingering of various parts of my anatomy and is followed immediately by sex. Monday was no exception. DH caressed and kissed and licked my bottom, and caressed and stroked and fingered my pussy, and then he replaced his fingers with his cock. I am one of those rare and lucky women who can orgasm during intercourse without any direct clitoral stimulation (according to scientists only 30% can), so I did, orgasm, 3 times, I think. I get so lost in the sensations of sex, the in and out thrusts, the speed, the force, the press of DH's body against mine, that I can find it very difficult to keep count -- the number doesn't really matter to me, but it does to DH so I try to keep count.

DH would have liked to finish with anal, but not really being in the mood, I refused him. Sometimes, I just don't feel like it. DH seemed to be okay with my decision, as he kept thrusting, keeping me in that lovely sexual fog until he reached his peak and filled me with his special gift. (Ok, I know it's silly and flowery and trite, but I'm trying not to be too crude).

And after, we snuggled as we came down from our high and relaxed before going to sleep.

I got to mention to him how I had heard Dr. Oz on Oprah state that people should strive to have sex at least 4 times a week for optimal health (solo sex doesn't count, only partner sex). When he's home, we come pretty darn close. Unfortunately, he's out of town again (back on Friday, for the weekend), will be all next week including the weekend, and the following week he'll be home but we have a special project at work requiring extra long days starting at 4:30 a.m (I am so not a morning person). I don't anticipate much fun over the next few weeks. Darn it!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Teasing is Not Nice

I don't think I do any 'bratting' behaviours and when asked, DH says that in his opinion I don't. So, that being said, I'm starting to feel a little bratty.

Why, you ask.

Because DH is a teaser.

It's sooooooooo frustrating. He makes spanking comments, he gives a few good swats, and that's it.

Saturday play was limited as we were both too tired to get too worked up. And no action on Sunday, although there was teasing talk. About how would he reward me for exercising regularly (a good girl spanking); what would he do if I didn't keep up with the exercising (a bad girl spanking); a lot of 'masterspeak'; a random swat here and there.

And then last night, as I lay curled on my side, back to DH, he reached over and gave me several very firm spanks. I've got a Pavlovian response thing going on when he starts hand spanking me, especially in that position -- there is an immediate and strong reaction in my pussy. I can feel it immediately start swelling and with each spank I get wetter and more aroused. I know I am pushing my bottom back in expectation of the next spank. And I am really enjoying this, and he knows it.

And then he stops, rolls over, and goes to sleep. (I am constantly amazed at how quickly he can do that).

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I am now totally frustrated, and left with no choice but to take care of myself, as quietly and as still as possible, otherwise I will not be able to relax and fall asleep.

This was not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. If DH is too tired to follow through, I wish he wouldn't even start. Drives me crazy. And if he's thinking a spanking and sex is too much work, then, heck, I'd settle for just the sex, to take the edge off. And it can be a straight forward quickie, no bells and whistles.

This frustration is what is leading to thoughts of bratting. The reason I haven't yet bratted (besides the fact that I don't consider it appropriate behavior for a grown woman -- another post, another time) is that I'm not convinced it would lead to the desired outcome -- a well spanked, very hot, very red bottom and intense sex.

Maybe, if it doesn't get too late, I can convince DH that a little 'play time' before sleep would be good, very good.

Now if I can just getting to follow through, and turn his teasing into reality.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Apologies

To anyone who may have tried to email me over the past week --

I was updating my blog settings last week and made a little typo while updating the email address. Imagine, just adding one little character, and suddenly I'm not getting any emails (not that I get many, but still). Not only did I fix the error, I did a test run, so I know with certainty that the email link in my profile is now working.

So, if you tried to email me and it didn't work (I don't know if you'd get an error message or not -- but if you haven't gotten a response from me, then you know I never got your message), please email me again. I love getting messages :)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Love Our Lurkers Day

Hey you!

Yeah, you. You know who you are. You're the one who comes here, reads this blog and never leaves a comment or emails me. What's with that? Are you trying to give me a complex?

Just kidding. SmileyCentral.com

Having been a lurker, before I started blogging myself, I know how easy it is to read a blog, really like it and/or connect with something posted, but think "that's an old post," "others have commented already," "the blogger doesn't have any interest in what I have to say," etc.

Well, you're wrong, so wrong.

I know you come to my blog, and some of you come back again and again. But knowing you visit is not enough (what can I say, I'm needy). You don't need to leave big long dissertations (but they're okay if that's what you're into), a simple 'Hi, I like your blog' is more than enough to brighten my day. And you know what, I'll respond to your comment or email, no matter how long or how short -- I know how important feedback is. And it doesn't matter whether you want to comment on today's post or one from a month ago, I will still read your message and respond to it. You don't need to tell me your name or anything personal about yourself. What you say is up to you (just please don't be rude or cruel).

SmileyCentral.com

So, please, starting today, if you want to comment, ask questions, just say 'hi', whatever, please, please, please do it. And don't stop -- keep doing it, every time you want to.
SmileyCentral.com

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Nothing to say

DH is out of town, again, and will be frequently the next few months. No reflection on blogging or spanking, but when he's not here, my inspiration is muted. Makes it difficult for me to focus and come up with something appropriate to write about here.

That said --

We had a mini disagreement over the phone today. And while he had some valid points, I do feel he exaggerated the situation, and I did not respond well to the way he spoke to me. If you've been following my blog, you are probably getting the impression that these situations between us occur on a weekly basis. Truly they don't, just for some reason in the past month we've been more testy with each other (I know some of you are thinking 'he needs to just spank her soundly and get it all out').

I know he's concerned that spanking has 'possessed' me, but I don't feel that way. I see it as something that we both enjoy and that really has helped us become closer. When we have a really good spanking session (he spanks me long and hard, and I'm marked and sore for the next few days -- a constant arousing reminder) followed by incredible multi-orgasmic (for me) sex, it just makes me feel more connected to him. He teases me about how blissed out I am after a session like this, but isn't that how it's supposed to be after we've given and received such intimate intense pleasure with each other?

We don't always include spanking in our intimate encounters, and I don't expect to. And I'm always open to anything DH wants to try, he just hasn't proposed anything lately.

I've told DH, repeatedly, but I'm not sure he really believes me (based on comments he's always making) that I've never cheated on him, have never come close, have never even wanted to. I can't even fantasize about cheating on him (if I fantasize about another man, then I am 'another' me in the fantasy - alternate reality). I don't even put myself in situations where it might even look like something illicit is going on. Yet he seems to have this distrust...

Quite frankly, I'm the one who should have issues trusting him. Not that he's cheated on me (he says he hasn't and I've never seen anything suspicious), but he was sexually wild and a partier before we met, not fully honest with me about himself (unknown to me he was married when we met -- a story for another post), and he's away from home so much. I am always at work, at home, or running errands. You tell me who has the opportunity. Yet he is constantly throwing accusations at me.

I don't know what the solution is. I love him and can't imagine not being with him, but when he gets so distrustful and accusing, or has one of his tantrums, it is so hard for me to trust and respect him. I rely on him to be the strong one that I can turn to when I need support and guidance. And I want to be his soft place when he's overwhelmed with work and other stresses.

And before anyone asks, yes I have told him these things, out loud and in emails. But I recognize I cannot make him truly listen and hear what I am saying, nor can I force him to change. He has to decide for himself how he wants to live his life and make any necessary changes. Just like I've been doing for the past few years.

Well, anyway, thanks for 'listening' to my rant. For someone who started this post thinking she had nothing to say, guess I ended up saying quite a lot.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Recent Stats

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who visits, to those of you who come back, and especially to you who comment and/or email me. While I started writing this blog as a way for me to express myself and a way to try and sort out my thoughts and feelings about submissiveness and spankings, I'm truly amazed that there are people out there who are interested in what I have to say.


I recently saw a quote from Ray Bradbury that really sums up why I write, have to write, regardless of what I write (not only this blog): You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Mainly for fun and out of curiosity, I use StatCounter to keep track of the number of visits, where visitors come from, and how they find me. (The counter itself is under my avatar.)

Since I've started keeping this blog regularly updated, I've made 21 posts (including this one) and have had over 4000 visits. You, my guests, come from 53 countries with the top 3 being: U.S. 63%; U.K. 10%; and Canada 6%. You come from huge metropolitan areas to small country towns; places I've visited, passed through, or lived, places I know about, places I want to visit, and places I've never heard of; you visit for a long while or just look and leave. You find me through other bloggers who have linked to me (My Bottom Smarts, All Things Spanking, Cherry Red Report, sub nouveau, Juno Henry), through websites (Spanking Art Wikipedia), and through search engines.

I really enjoy looking at the keywords that bring people to my blog. Beyond the basic "spank" and it's various versions, some of them just naturally lead me to want to comment on them, so here I go:

backsides bruised from spanking -- I have only one backside, and yes, it's been bruised by a spanking

big red bottom -- yes, it's big, too big, but it's only red when DH gets done with it

daughter has spankable butt -- ok, maybe she does, but I really don't think about it, and can't really remember the last time either daughter was spanked

dh submissive spank -- nope, I'm the submissive, not DH, so he spanks me, I don't spank him (although when he's having one of his rants, it does cross my mind)

I spanked my sisters bum -- nope, not ever, don't ever plan to

my husbands spanked me for punishment -- husbands? more than one? how does that work?

red bottom from spanking stories -- the stories make me want a red bottom, but unless DH prints them out, rolls them, and uses them to spank me...

spanking england -- that's rather a large goal, will your spanking arm hold up to the task?

autumn 2007 england's best logic puzzles -- I really hope this person was trying to find my blog, otherwise this would have been a big surprise

lexus dent and frying implements -- same as above, what a shock to find a spanking blog if you're looking for car repairs or cookware

spankability -- there's just something about this word :)

spanking robin -- I hope this means you really were looking for my blog and not some other Robin out there who gets spanked :)

Miscellaneous others: red bum spanking movies; hot red bottom spanked; red bottom spanking; spanking daddy bottom; red bottom hairbrush wife; red butt spanking; red bottom day; spanking silly; spanking express; very small bottom bending over; turned on by spanking; good sex



A final note: Please don't be afraid to comment or email me, I respond to everyone, just not always same day (I work and have a family). I love knowing that people read, and hopefully, connect with what I write here.

Friday, October 5, 2007

TGIF

SmileyCentral.com

Thank goodness it's Friday. Just in general, I am usually so tired by the time I get to Friday that it's all I can do to get through work, let alone think about dinner. So my sweet hubby ordered pizza for the kids and then brought a slice up to me and shared his last hot wing with me, too.

To make the exhaustion worse, it's that time of the month, just in time for the weekend and our Saturday play night. Not exactly sure how things will play out tomorrow night -- I expect we'll still go out, and am hoping for a spanking, but we'll have to see what happens next (I'm guessing anal). And tomorrow is the last Saturday before DH spends the next 3 weeks travelling -- he'll be home for the next two weekends, but not the last weekend of the month. But even when he's home on the weekends, when he's been travelling he's so worn out that the weekends are pretty much taken up with recovering. Perfect period timing, not.
SmileyCentral.com

So, what do you do when it's that time of the month? Something about knowing that we "can't" (okay, more like neither of us really want to for a few days), just makes us want sex even more. So last night we're both horny. It started for me as I was reading a few blog postings, then while snuggling with DH, he switched from baseball to some soft porn movie we had recorded on the DVR (this DVR is connected only to the TV in our room, so the kids aren't likely to stumble across it), and made us both crazy horny. He started caressing me, insisted I stroke him, then he moved his hand down and started rubbing my clit, and before you know it he'd come and then I'd come, and we were able to fall asleep.

Another question: Do you watch porn? We don't that much, and to be honest, most of it is so cheesy and fakey that I just can't enjoy it (we will actually critique it, not very arousing). I prefer a good story with good acting, good sets, and production values, AND good sex. Nothing irritates me more when an actor, supposedly in the middle of mindblowing sex, turns to look dead on at the camera. I have found some foreign films (not porn, per se) with all of the above, but not much domestic (we both like the "Eyes of Desire" movies by Candida Royalle). So, we signed up with a rental company that delivers to your home, I've checked out reviews, and we've ordered some movies that are highly recommended as not only having good sex in them, but also meet my other criteria. I'll have to let you know. We received the first one yesterday, and since it has a spanking theme, I think we may have to watch it tomorrow during our play time.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Figuring Me Out, part 2


As I've said before, I've spent a lot of time the last few years trying to figure me out and what I want and need to be happy -- meaning lots of self help books, O! magazine, Internet searches, thinking, opening up to DH, etc. Part of the instigation for this was approaching 40. I found this really hard -- 30 was easy, 35 was no problem, but 40? Given the standard life expectancy 40 really is middle aged, chronologically (when I turned 30, my mother actually wrote in my card something about my now being middle aged -- if I was middle aged at 30, what did that make her at 54?). And I started thinking about about my hope and dreams and things I figured would never happen.


My dad died of cancer a few years ago and we found a journal he had kept for awhile during and around the time my parents marriage was falling apart (I was in high school). It was sad -- he wrote in there about the dreams he'd given up, always to please others (parents, wife) and he seemed to have very little happiness in his life. And how he was always waiting for things to be "just right" before doing things. I did not want to be like that, only having regrets, never doing what I wanted/needed, waiting till it was too late.


So, I started working on me and doing things I wanted to do. I started slow, mostly with books, fiction and non-fiction. I had never been a big fan of romance (can't stand bodice ripper covers; stupid, weak, ineffectual women; predictable plots; stupid euphemisms), but I had discovered Diana Gabaldon a few years earlier, then Sara Donati and Katie MacAlister. The covers were tasteful, characters seemed real and complex, plots were interesting, there was humor and pathos, and I could relate to these women. Reading these stories made it glaringly clear that I had no such romance or bond with my husband, and I most desperately wanted to have something somewhat similar to what the characters in these books had.


Contrary to popular opinion, this did not mean I listed all my husband's failings or worked out ways to get him to change. I knew that my life and marriage could only be changed if I changed myself. So that's what I started to do. It was not easy -- it never is when you're looking deep into yourself and determining what you like and don't like about yourself and what needs to be done to increase the likes and decrease the don't likes. And I will always be a work in progress for the rest of my life.


to be continued ...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Silly, Funny Spanking

After last night my youngest is obviously going to have the idea that daddy spanking mommy is funny and silly.

I was teasing her last night while fixing dinner. She had her back to me and I reached over and pinched her little bum. Since the dog was right next to her (the puppy that thinks my daughter’s a chew toy) she immediately assumed he had nipped her so yelled out his name. I started laughing. Unfortunately, the little one is extremely (overly) sensitive and my laughing led her to start pouting and making these horrid noises. I managed to cajole her out of the funk and everything was moving along just fine. Until daddy came home.

Mean mommy that I am, I had to tell daddy the whole silly story, while she was in the room (my mistake, I should have waited till DH and I were alone). The pouting and noises started again. Both DH and I started telling her that her reaction to the teasing was unacceptable, but we got no where. That’s when DH asked, “Do you want me to spank mommy?” in a way that makes it obvious that this is all fun and games. Well, of course she does; I’ve just upset her and seeing me get “punished” for it only seems right.

I was standing on the opposite of the kitchen island from DH and the little rugrat. DH walks around the island and gives me one swat. I start laughing – couldn’t help it. He looks at her and says, “should I spank her more?” The little monster nods, so now my other cheek gets a sharp crack from his hand. And this continued, DH asking if he should spank me more, and her nodding (with a smile that was getting ever larger), until I received about 6 spanks, and was laughing so hard I was crying. DH was laughing. So was the little one. (The older two were in the adjoining family room through all this, in sight and sound of the spectacle.)

So not a wild, erotic spanking episode, but fun and silly.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Making up is fun to do

DH and I have made up. I was still up when he came home Friday night (really early Saturday morning) and we talked and snuggled and had a make-up quickie.

Saturday night has become our date night, but this Saturday we decided to stay in, watch TV, drink some wine and really make up. While DH napped, I showered, got snacks and got the kids to bed. By the time I was done, he was up.

We watched some TV, regular movies, and some porn, had some red one and got things started. As usual I was snuggled up next to DH and he took my hand and guided it down to his already hard cock. He then started caressing my body, moving his hand down until to my pussy. Finding my panties in the way, I was instructed to remove them. Then he began touching me in earnest. It wasn't long till I was instructed to roll over onto my stomach -- you know what that means ... spanking time! After several warming spanks with his hand, DH decided it was time to kick things up a notch. He got off the bed and he told me to get into position (bent over pillows with knees at the edge of the bed). DH used his hands, the leather paddle, and the hairbrush. He'd give me several spanks, hard, then pause and caress, kiss, lick, finger, etc. At one point he even poured wine on my butt then licked it off. The contrast of cold wine on warmed butt, followed by warm tongue -- wow! He also did more of the love bites, so intense.

I don't necessarily do really well with the holding still and being quiet during a spanking. I've never yet had the urge to throw my hands back in an attempt to protect myself, and DH can spank VERY hard. So I was ordered more than once to be quiet (especially after repeated utteringsof "ouch") and to get back into position (when he hits that extremely sensitive area between the legs, I just cannot stay in position).

We've discovered that when I am in this position, with my legs off the bed, DH can stand right at my feet while spanking me, and I can use my feet to pleasure him. He even oiled up his cock so it would slide easier between my feet.

Hubby was in fine form Saturday night. Got my bottom good and hot, and my pussy good and wet, and then he was thrusting into me. He gets me so aroused, knows all the right things to do, that it doesn't take me long at all to orgasm. And the more he keeps thrusting into me, the more orgasms I have. When it's a Saturday night spanking date, I usually can't even keep count of them all I'm so lost in all the sensations.

And lately, a spanking seems to mean we're also going to have anal sex, and that night was no different. I always know this is what DH intends when he starts pouring oil all over my butt. He rubs it all over my cheeks and then down my crack, making sure he also coats his cock well. If you've never had anal, I don't know if I can adequately describe it. There's stretching, sometimes with pain (although not this night), a sense of being filled, and when he starts thrusting, I feel it all as tingles all along my spine up to the nape of my neck. I also feel it in my pussy, it seems to swell and throb even more, and as he thrusts ever harder and faster, balls bang into my clit and how can I not have a screaming orgasm with all those intense sensations flooding through my body. And as long as he doesn't come, and keeps thrusting into me, I will keep coming, until I'm almost delirious from the experience.

And we always end with lots of snuggling and cuddling, till we drift off to sleep.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Figuring Me Out

Starting to figure out where some of my confusion/repression regarding sex has come from.

I am a readaholic and a bookophile (I read anything and everything I can get my hands on and love books). Have been all my life, got it from my dad, as he was a readaholic and bookophile, too. He introduced me early on to fantasy and science fiction, and I now find myself wondering what the heck he was thinking.

I think I was about 12 when he gave me Marion Zimmer Bradley's Endless Universe (I think that's the title). I rapidly moved on to anything else she had written, and Robert A. Heinlein, and Anne McCaffrey, and on and on. If you've ever read any works by these authors, you know that sexual/sensual freedom was a common theme running through there stories. I'm currently rereading some of Heinlein's works (The Number of the Beast, To Sail Beyond the Sunset), and I am amazed that no only did my religious leader dad (he was in charge of our small congregation most of my teen years) know I was reading these, but I often took them from his shelves.

Hence, the basis for my confusions and repressions. I was reading these books that my dad also read that were full of people having sex with whomever they wanted, whenever they wanted, and it was happy and joyous and full of love. Then I would go to church and have it pounded into me (hormonal, curious teen) that sexual feelings and passion (lust) are WRONG. That I shouldn't fantasize or read about sex, shouldn't masturbate and should not be doing anything sexual with anyone. Sex was only between a man and woman bonded by marriage, and presumably, only for creating a family. The church that my dad where my dad was the local leader. Talk about your mixed messages.

Heinlein -- oh my goodness... His stories are full of sex: man/woman, man/man, woman/woman, group, swapping/swinging, never in explicit detail, but always clearly respectful, loving, fun, etc. And spankings: threatened, promised, remembered; man to woman, woman to man, etc. Again nothing in detail, but still. And he was writing this stuff clear back in the 1930's.

I know my dad didn't mean to do anything to cause me distress, but I lived so repressed for so long, that I have some deep regrets over the "wasted years", and although it was never officially diagnosed, I know I suffered through bouts of depression (DH can attest to this -- and to the fact that I do not go through these "dark periods" near as often or as severely as I used to). And finally expressing those regrets and the desire to have things be different from now on has caused some stress in my marriage as DH worries that it's pulling me away from him (part of this past weeks mess). I honestly don't feel that it's pulled me away or that it will -- in fact, we are better than ever. We talk, and joke, and share, and laugh more. I am an active participant in our sex life and am not denying my passion anymore.

I've also stopped attending church -- although initially I used other excuses to explain why I wasn't going anymore (even to myself). I'm glad that so many people find peace and joy and love with religion, but it didn't provide that for me, just one more responsibility, duty, and standards that I knew deep down I could never meet; and that ultimately held me down in denial, repression and depression. I'm definitely spiritual, just not religious anymore. So far no one has really questioned me about my decision (other than DH, and he understands), but since my mom and my sibs all still attend the same church with their spouses and kids, and my oldest daughter does, too, plus I still have social contact with members, I suppose at some time some one may ask. That could be interesting.

So now you know a little bit more about me and where I'm coming from as I use this blog to help me sort things out and share my experiences with my "new" life.