Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"Poly is not contagious"

Since we went to the club, quite a bit has happened. Not all of it good at the time, but we've worked through it.

DH, even though he was interested in getting a membership to the club, was concerned that joining and attending would (not might) lead us to open up our marriage. Part of this came about because I was talking to a poly couple, who while not leaving real close by, live near enough that we could meet. And I would like to meet them ~~ not because I am looking for people to have sex with, but because I would like to have some RL friends to go along with my online ones. 

So there were about 3 days of bitterness as he outlined all the things that he was absolutely sure would happen if we met poly, kinky people in real life, and I kept telling him that while it was okay for him to be concerned and that we should talk about it, I am not interested in anything but friendship and just because you meet people and enjoy their company does not mean you want to sex with them (or they with you). And as one OL friend said, "Poly is not contagious." It took him 3 days to work this all out in his mind; days where he wasn't not always nice and calm as he dwelled on his worries (blowing them all out of proportion as far as I was concerned); days full of angry, bitter, hurtful text messages, including one where he called me a not nice name which I received right as I pulled into work. Well, I dissolved in tears, texted him back, then we spoke on the phone. There was no way I was going to be able to work, so I called my boss from the parking lot, fighting back tears, and left him a message about it being a bad day and I just was not going to be able to work and was heading back home (apparently worrying them all horribly, which was so not my intention).

I got back home and crawled into bed. Along with all the emotional anguish, I could now clearly feel the build up of a migraine. And then DH called, again. But this time, he acknowledged his over reaction, that he was painting things with a certainty that was not certain ~~ that things would happen, that things would go wrong, that we and our marriage were doomed... That while there were possible risks, there was no guarantee that any of the situations he was imagining would actually happen, and as long as when we start feeling worried about things we talk about them (calmly), we would be okay. All this, along with my repeated assurances that I am not looking for anyone else (no matter how much I may fantasize about multiple partners...), straightened everything out.

After a short rest, I was horny... and the sexting began:

me: Any chance you could come home for a quick fuck before the kids get home?
DH: I love too but I was out yesterday and today I came late, took 1 hr lunch. How about tonight? Next week on Wednesday practice flogging when kids are school, I take half day off
DH: Now I am aroused
me: Can I take care of myself then?
       Tonight should work.
       Kids don't have school Wednesday plus MC gets his braces
me: I have my hitachi on my clit and a curved glass toy inside...
DH: Yes go for it.
DH: Now this is not fair teasing
me: Just want to keep your mind focused. You'll be raring to go tonight :)

There was a little more, but nothing racy...

DH came home, there was dinner, housework, getting the kids into bed...

Finally, our time.

First we showered so we would be nice and clean for each other. Then started to set items out. A while ago I bought an inexpensive collar and cuff set, with a strap running down from the collar that the cuffs attached to (found a pic online ~ that is not me). DH got out the flogger, the crop, a paddle, flavored edible oils, I got out the collar/cuffs and the chocolate mint oil...  DH grinned out the sight of the collar/cuffs and put them on me ~~ he especially likes my hands behind my back when I go down on him. 

He stood in front of the fireplace and coated his cock with chocolate mint edible oil while I carefully knelt. I sucked, and licked, and pleasured him in the way he so enjoys. Even, slowly and carefully, taking him deep into my mouth, almost into my throat, at times (this is hard for me as I have a very sensitive gag reflex). Looking up at him, I throatily stated how much I loved his chocolate mint cock. I felt him twitch at my words.

Then, when he'd had enough, he moved to the bed, telling me to stand and come to him. I did, and he had me bend over the edge while he alternately caressed and spanked me. He applied oil and rubbed up against my ass, slipping slightly into me with his rubbing thrusts. Finally, he helped me up onto the bed and with one hard thrust, filled my hungry cunt with his cock. It didn't take long 'til we were both moaning and coming.

I was ready to collapse on the bed, but he wasn't done with me yet. He picked up the flogger and went to work on my ass. Because of the collar and cuffs (my hands were still behind my back) he couldn't flog my back, so he focused on perfecting him aim on my ass. I stood there, bent over the side of the bed, his come and my juices running down my legs as he flogged me ~~ over and over again the lashes hit, sometimes stinging, sometimes thudding... It was incredible. I felt so warm, so ... content to be right where I was, at his mercy as he practiced and practiced...

Ahhh, just remembering now as I write this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, aroused and tingly too.

Once he finished, he removed the collar and cuffs, we cleaned up, then snuggled in bed as we waited for sleep to overtake us.

I slept very well, and went to work the next morning with a smile on my face and happy songs running through my head.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Being Flogged

Flogging ~~ while this can evoke images of shipboard or slave punishment, the ubiquitous cat o' nine tails, strips of flesh removed from the back... I've been more interested in the erotic possibilities.

So, awhile ago, I went on line and purchased a basic leather flogger, not real expensive but not a cheap imitation either. And it's a beautiful blue...

But I couldn't get DH to use it on me, even though I set it out, more than once. I think now that it was because he didn't really know what it was or how to properly use it.

Well.... he knows how now Roll 

I touched on this in my previous post, how DH thought the only reason to go to a club was to play (cheat) with other people. But we talked, I showed him information about the club, brought up that there was this workshop on flogging coming up... And he told me to go ahead and RSVP for it.  So, before either of us could chicken out, I sent in the RSVP.

And even though nervous butterflies started flitting around on Friday and DH complained about being tired on Saturday, off we went. Now, my nerves were more because I'm an extreme introvert who finds any unfamiliar social situation to be incredibly difficult, not because I was afraid we were heading into a horrible situation. DH's discomfort was because he was uncertain of what we were potentially getting into.

We arrived too late for the tour (someone thought it would take only a half hour to get there, while I thought an hour+ ~~ guess who was right). So too late for the tour, we just had a few minutes to get some water, glance in the various rooms, then head in for the workshop.

The presenters were a Master and slave who have been in the lifestyle for many years, and he in particular has been doing flogging workshops for years.  They immediately put everyone at ease with their humor and casualness ~~ even DH (who initially had continued to comment on how uncomfortable he was). Although DH had to put a spin on it as he noted to me that the presenter bore a physical and vocal resemblance to my father... A little weird, but I was able to get past it...

After about a half an hour spent talking about flogging in general and passing out about 3 dozen different floggers for everyone to check out, we paired up and prepared to practice the first technique. I don't know what it is actually called, but I'll call it the Archer. The flogger stands as though they are aiming a bow and arrow, pulling the lashes taut and then releasing. 

I started by just removing my shirt and bra ~~ it was mentioned that the flogger hitting the bra could cause bruising and I didn't want that. I hadn't know that undressing would be a possibility and I made extra sure DH was okay with it before I removed any clothing. It was interesting to look around and see all the variations. Some people did not remove any clothing, most men if they were going to be flogged removed only their shirts, some women removed shirts but left bras on, others stripped top only, while others left panties on, and some undressed completely. You need to understand that I am very uncomfortable with my body, being overweight and out of shape; I don't like to see myself in a mirror, in pictures or in video. But it felt perfectly naturally there, not only to strip down, but to stand there with almost no clothes on and chat with the people, male and female, who were near us.

Anyway, back to the flogging itself. DH really took to this, practicing a lot on my back. And this was a chance for me to be vocal and guiding as I let him know if his aim was too high, too low, too much to the center, too far to the edge, etc. The stance and the way you hold your elbow is critical to getting the aim just right. One of the presenters came round to  help each pairing with their technique. 

After making sure everybody got a chance with a presenter, it was back to the main room to learn another technique. This one calls for the flogger to face the floggee straight on, flip the flogger over their back, point the elbow towards the floggee, and swing the flogger over and down onto the floggee. 

Back to our spot, where this time not only were shirt and bra off, but pants were removed as well (I did, for some reason, balk at removing my panties, even though DH suggested it). And DH flogged me some more, back and bottom, but mostly back.

There is a marked difference in the feel of the two techniques. The first is very sting-y, as it is mainly the tips of the lashes that are connecting with the skin, while the second is much more of a deep thud because it is more the length of the lashes that impact. I like the 2nd better ~~ that deep thud sinks in and becomes a spreading warmth that moves out beyond the impact area. Ooooohhhh, it felt so good. I was really sinking into it, enjoying it so much ~~ the young gentleman next to me asked if I was okay, as I just stood there taking blow after blow. Done just right, wow... What an incredible sensation.

I have to add that DH did let me try it on him ~~ once *wicked grin*. He yelped and that was the end of that. But that's okay as I can't ever see myself topping him.

Unfortunately, there wasn't time to learn any other techniques, but we're happy with what we did learn. We talked about it continuously through the rest of the evening ~~ the drive home, while eating out, before and after the movie, later in bed...  My back stayed warm and tingly for hours after.

The next day, my back did get stiff and sore, but marking was minimal ~~ mostly these odd little round spots here and there.

DH ultimately had such a good time, not just with the flogging but also seeing all the undressed women and watching the different couples interact, and seeing all the equipment there, that we are probably going to get a membership. I don't know how often we'd go ~~ maybe just once a month as it is a pretty good drive to get there ~~ but it's a great chance to observe and learn new things to try, in the club or at home (mostly at home, I think).

Monday, November 9, 2009

Catching up on things

Love Our Lurkers Day revisited ~~
As usual, life just took over and I've neglected to get on here and thank all the lovely people who took the time to comment and email on LOL Day (agh, almost a month ago? I think someone (me) needs to be punished Spank)

So, here's a special big to:

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I say I write primarily for my own sake, but it gives me the warm fuzzies to know that others like to come here and read what I write.

And, I did try, a few days late, to get out there and delurk myself. I made it to a few blogs, but if you read here and you know I read your blog (I do sometimes leave comments) and I didn't pop by for LOL day... I'm Sorry. I tried, I really did, but it just got a little overwhelming. There are so many wonderful blogs out there, and I have more on my reader than are even over on my blogroll (obviously updates are needed) and unfortunately I just couldn't make it to everyone. 

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What I've ordered ~~
Went online and searched some manufacturers and various retail sites. Ultimately, I placed an order on Liberator.com . I knew for certain that I wanted a Fascinator Throe, and I found that not only do they sell their own Liberator products but items from several other manufacturers as well (Lelo, Tantus, nJoy, to name a few). And I love one-stop shopping. 
So along with a blue microfiber throe (because 'things' can and do get messy when we play), I ordered a medium nJoy Pure Plug, Lelo Luna Beads, a deep rose Lelo Gigi, a green Naughtibod, and Kama Sutra Love Liquid lube. And free with my order, I'm getting a Love Artist kit (I have no idea what this consists of as I didn't check out the details). With all the research I did (umm, all the sites I looked at), the prices on Liberator.com do seem comparable with other sites, and most of their items were advertised as being on sale. Once I get my new toys, and find the time to try them out, by myself and hopefully with hubby's help, I'll try to get on here and let you know what I think.
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Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009 ~~
Not sure how it happened... But I ended up on this year's list! Head on over to Between My Sheets and check it out. I'm way down at #86, but I'm on there. I want to take this chance to thank Rori, all her helpers, and anyone who nominated me. I'm incredibly honored and flattered by the recognition. 

Now, if I can just live up to this...

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Sit down, hold on to your hats ~~
DH and I are going to check out a BDSM club. 
I heard all those gasps Lol . I'm surprised too.
We live in a far suburb of a big city. So the club isn't in our town, but in the big city.  Monthly they hold a social for people who are not members but are curious and they frequently hold classes as well. So we're planning on the social and a class on flogging. We have no plans on joining the club, and we may find ourselves too uncomfortable to complete the tour or the class. But we're going to try. 
This big adventure came about because of an email I sent a friend (a whiny, complaining email) that DH managed to get a hold of, plus her response. (It was some weird thing with his first gen iPhone picking up all my email accts and allowing him access to them. He's since changed to the 2nd gen iPhone and the problem seems to be gone.) 
So, we talked a lot. 
One of the things I had mentioned in my email was that because we live near a big city, there are all sorts of resources for exploring, understanding, taking classes, etc. But he apparently wasn't willing or interested in checking things out. Well, turns out, he thought my interest was to meet other people, perhaps to play (or more) with. Do you have any idea how many times I've told him I am not interested in that. Yes, we've talked about an open marriage, but he's not comfortable with that, and so it stays on my fantasy list. And, as I keep telling him, that is perfectly fine with me. I will follow his lead. It's what I do, good little subbie that I am (sometimes Tongue Out ).

I just want us to take what opportunities we can to learn about what we like and dislike and how to do things PROPERLY (DH has a tendency to make what is supposed to be an erotic spanking feel more like a discipline spanking ~~ and he won't take pointers from me). There's only so much you can learn from books, the Internet, and porn. At least that's true for me ~~ I like up close, in person, hands on learning experiences. 
So, maybe I'll have some new and interesting things to share here in the near future.

Monday, November 2, 2009

What to buy?

So, say you come into a little bit of extra money, not a lot, just a couple of hundred, and you want to add to your "toy" collection... What would you get?

Do I get something from Lelo? NJoy? Liberator? Eroscilator?... Vibrator? Dildo?Plug? Nipple Clamps?....

There are just so many things to choose from, that I'd like to narrow it down a bit.

I need ideas, friends. What would you recommend, what would you get for yourself? Why that particular item?

Email me or leave a comment.

Thank you.