Where have you been today?

Not dead, not gone -- travelling. On our family vacation (don't think we're ever travelling with the kids again - more on that later). So just a quick note -- I've been jotting down notes and ideas and when it doesn't cost so much to get online (and isn't so bloody slow), I will definitely post pics and narrative.

Oh, and today, we were in Athens, Greece. That's the Temple of Athena & Poseidon on the Acropolis. Amazing what they could do without computers and electricity.

On to Mykonos...

Four days and counting...

...til we head off on our 2 week vacation.

But before I get into all that, here's an update.

How I know DH is trying -- I bought a new camera, Canon Rebel Xti 10.1MP, without discussing it with DH. This was not a spur of the moment decision, but researched and thought out. Every year since my Dad died, I've received a disbursement, and this year was no different. Once I was informed that I would get the disbursement and for how much, I started researching cameras online. I looked at different brands, compared specs, read user reviews, checked different vendors for prices, went to stores to actually look at and hold the ones I was interested in. And I made my decision, went to Amazon.com and ordered the camera and a few accessories. All without saying a word to DH.

He got back from his trip last Sunday and we all went out for dinner. While out, OC mentioned that I had ordered a camera. DH asked how much, etc., and wasn't really happy with my answers, complaining that I should have discussed it with him first (I didn't because I knew he wouldn't like my choice). He got quiet and still and said to me, "This is a lot to take in. I'm going to need some time." The old DH would have cursed, made negative comments and stormed out. We had a quiet, if somewhat tense meal, then went home. While relaxing before bed, he told me that he also ordered a camera (without discussing with me :p). We snuggled and all was fine.

The next morning while showering together before work, he got in a few sharp smacks on my behind. When I asked if I was being spanked because of the camera, he said 'no, you don't get any spanking now" and stopped. Darn it -- isn't it supposed to be the other way? Misbehave and get a spanking?

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I was too exhausted all week for any action; it was like I was on a timer -- the clock hit 10pm and I was out. I knew DH wanted some attention, but I was alert for such a small time after the kids went to bed... But I decided that Thursday he'd get some special attention -- I'd urge the kids to go to bed on time and make sure things were ready for the night so we'd get to bed a little earlier.

During dinner cleanup, DH was putting food in the fridge and I went over to give/get some kisses. Along with the kisses, I got some nice spanks -- not too hard, not too soft, with a nice rhythm. My back was to the family room, but apparently MC was watching. DH smiled and nodded his head to let me know we had an audience. 'I'm just standing here, you're doing the spanking' was my response. It was definitely a clear sign of where his mind was.

I got YC into bed, and got things ready. I got undressed and into my robe, got out the edible oil and a towel, and waited for DH. I was going to surprise him with a blowjob.

He came up and got ready for bed. I closed and locked the door. He decided the dog needed one more trip outside. I waited. He came back in, but didn't close and lock the door. I protested.

Door closed and locked he came to bed. The TV was on, but honestly, I have no idea what we were watching. I snuggled up and let my hand start working on him. Wasn't long before it was evident how much he was enjoying my attentions.

I told him to remove his pants. He was a little surprised, but that didn't slow him down. I shifted my position so I was half kneeling, half lying perpendicular to him. I pulled out the edible oil, and poured it on. It's the type that warms up when blown on -- so I blew, and DH groaned. And then I went to town, licking, sucking, nibbling -- working hard to make sure I got up every last drop of oil. And while I was working on him, DH was working on me -- patting, spanking, rubbing, pulling my robe up, pulling my panties up so they weren't covering my bottom but were still rubbing sensitive areas.

DH told me how sexy I looked with my hair pulled back so he could watch me work on his cock. He'd tell me how much he liked certain movements, told me to do others, moved my head. He was so enjoying his special surprise.

Then he told me to stop -- he didn't want to come in my mouth, but in my pussy. I needed to remove my robe and get on all fours at the edge of the bed -- his favorite position for me. I did as he asked. Once I was in place, he leaned over to pull off my panties, and as he did, he kissed my left cheek. God, I love when he does little things like that....

And then the spanking began. Strong, solid spanks. I have to admit, I did do a little topping from the bottom, turning back to look at him while asking what kind of spanking was this supposed to be, punishment or fun (damn, he can spank hard). He just told me to shhh, and indicated I should get back into position. But I did notice that the spanks weren't quite so punishing after that :D

And of course, one thing led to another. He spanked me (not enough), oiled me, and fucked me. Deciding that he hadn't lasted long enough to thoroughly pleasure me, he went and got a certain toy out (the purple vibrating one that looks like a certain piece of male anatomy). (To be fair, we hadn't had any 'fun' since before he left on this last trip -- almost 2 weeks, and I did get him pretty worked up with the BJ). And with me lying prone on my belly, he used that toy till I squirted all over it in ecstasy.

All this, and I still had the lights out by 10 :D

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So things are good, and DH has promised we're going to have lots of fun on our vacation, too. Don't think it'll be quite as much 'fun' as last years since the kids will be with us, but we'll try (we're taking toys).

Happy Earth Day

Hey all. Still alive, still kicking. Just seems like everytime I'm feeling energized enough to get on the computer, life steps in. Long hours at work, prepping for vacation, school activities, etc.

Last week I was all set to hop online on Wednesday. I took a bad spill that morning (fell off the edge of a sidewalk causing my right ankle to fold in as far as it could go) so I came home from work, had my ankle compressed, iced, and elevated. Turned the computer on, got my notes out, and.....

NO INTERNET!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Apparently DH forgot to pay the bill -- what with all the tax headaches we had and the travelling for work. So he called from Mexico, I asked, he exclaimed -- then paid the bill.

Thursday -- no internet.

Friday -- while at work I called the provider. They needed to do an update and that should fix things. Nope. Came home, called them again, followed their instructions, and voila -- internet access. Yeah! But now it was late, and YC had a friend sleeping over, so I couldn't shut myself away with my laptop.

Then the weekend was just too busy.

So, since I had to get on line anyway to do our pre-cruise online check-in, I figured 'what the heck' and here I am.

But since this is 'just checking in' post -- got an early day tomorrow -- this is all you get from me.

Things are...

... better. Stabilized. Improving? I'm still just taking it one day at a time, but the days have been pretty good lately.

DH has decided, after talking to a marriage counsellor, that marriage counselling is not what we need as all the nasty hurtful things he said to me were said precisely because he knew they would be hurtful, not because he really feels that way. And that compared to others he knows, we really do have a good marriage. His problems are stress and anger and how he deals with them. I still think he needs to talk to someone about ways to deal with the stress and anger, but I can't force him, and I think it scared him that I was ready to let him go without begging him to stay. He's been trying really hard not to let the stressful things build up to the point where he rages. I did see "Anger Management for Dummies." Thought about buying it, for about 2 seconds -- DH is not a reader.

So after multiple apologies, both verbal and written, we've started to reconnect.

And, yes, I do mean sex and spankings.

It's taken me a while to get to where I felt I could be physically intimate with him again. Of course, my resistance to his advances was not appreciated, and temporarily increased the friction. But we talked it out. At times like this, instead of being a hindrance, his travelling has helped as it has given us physical distance while still allowing us to talk (phone and email) and say what needs to be said.

I did tell him clearly that there had better never be a repeat of that day -- he's out of "second chances."

And I also told him, only partly joking, that he ever pulls that crap again, he will be the one bent over with a bare backside getting the spanking. He laughed -- I was only partly kidding. Could I really do it? Not without his consent as there is no way I could hold him down if he didn't want to be held done and spanked -- but I think it's a good indication of how serious I am about no longer tolerating his angry outbursts.

So, keep wishing us well. It seems like we're on the right track back to normality, but it still takes time to regain all the ground that was lost.

Limbo

Hi all.
Hasn't been anything of note to blog about. Relationship, spanking, or otherwise.
Counselling has been postponed (waiting for the insurance deductible to be met so sessions are more affordable).
We have hired a cleaning company to help with the house, and it seems to be helping with my husband's mood.
So... we're still together but somewhat in limbo. There's definitely no going back, and there's no going forward till we can go to counselling and see if things can get better. So it's just day by day, trying to get along and keeping the peace.
Of course, I've come to discover that since I been trying to 'go along to get along', he's of the opinion that everything is OK now. Didn't like it last night when I told him things aren't right yet. Did his usual curse and leave. Which is why we need counselling -- if he's not even going to listen to me and talk to me about the issues, there really is no hope.

Work is increasingly stressful. There are 3 projects happening pretty much concurrently, all major, and I am at least nominally involved with all. And the scope of one project is constantly changing and bringing up issues that directly affect my job, and no one seems to really know what to do. And the 'go live' date for the major, company-wide, change is May 1st -- the day my 2-week vacation starts. That's only 6 weeks away. And can I say, we are no where near ready. The training that corporate is providing is severely inadequate. Fortunately, there are a few of us in my facility that already know the software, but of the 4 of us, 2 of us will be gone for go live. I'm going to try to meet with the facility manager tomorrow and see if we can start some sort of on site training so that we won't be completely blind sided at go live. Of course, it'd be much better if the higher ups would just decide to postpone till June or so.

On the good side -- it's starting to feel more springlike. Actually had 50's and sun this past week. Was so wonderful to go outside.

And my baby turned 7 yesterday. Can't believe she's 7 now. Hard to believe that 7 years ago yesterday I was in pain in the hospital, struggling to bring her into the world. She was my hardest delivery, and the only one in the middle of the night. If she had been the first, she might have ended up an only :) We're having her party next month -- due to certain issues (husband) we just didn't get anything set up in time, and with Easter and Spring Break coming up, it's had to be pushed back. We did have a special meal and cake and presents for her yesterday. She was happy.

And while spanking is never far from my thoughts, there are no personal experiences to share -- and won't be for a while. Just not in a place where that is right for us now. Should I find the energy and desire, I'll try to get some past experiences written up, review stats, find general references and discussions to mention, etc. Just finding it hard to get in the right frame of mind....

March? Already?

A new month -- a new start?

We've got our first counselling session scheduled for the 11th. We have to wait til then because He (I'm sorry, but I just can't call him DH again, not just yet) is travelling for work -- Mexico this week. Then home for a week or two and then he's hardly going to be home for a while. We've decided on a minimum of 3 sessions, and then we'll assess.

It's not going to be easy, but it's necessary. He keeps telling me how sorry he is, and how much he loves me and wants me, but I still flash to how he looked and sounded and what he said just last week. He has almost a Jekyll-Hyde thing going on when he gets so angry, and he expects me to just forgive and forget. It's just not that easy for me. But I'm trying.

And if we do work this all out, I'm pretty certain spankings will continue -- he's mentioned them more than once. And then I will be back in the mindset of wanting to write about it. I'm not writing about spankings right now because it's a little emotionally painful to revisit the good spankings and sex we've had. Please bear with me -- I'll get there again.

Other news-- It's actually spring-like today, but the weather is supposed to take an icky turn the rest of this week. And he's in 80 degree Mexico. *sigh*

One of my stressors has been removed. I've been really worried about my job, about my upcoming performance review... I'm in kind of an odd position. I work far, far away from my boss, with a sort of dotted-line supervisor. I rarely even have any sort of contact with my boss, and the company has been going through a lot of big changes lately, making me worry about my future. Well, the boss sent me my review and it was much better than I expected. He had me do a self review and I struggled to find things I felt proud of accomplishing in the past year, and took the opportunity to express some of my dissatisfaction and concerns. But, apparently, he hears good things about me and my performance from others, and since he's given me goals with end dates of 12/21/08, I'm assuming there are no immediate plans to get rid of me. Now, I'm just hoping for a pay raise.

Oh, and another concern and how it would play into things -- we have a major system implementation occurring on May 1st... and guess what day my 2 week vacation starts. Yep, May 1st -- obviously planned before we knew the implementation date had changed. So I'll be working hard helping to get it all ready before we leave.

And yes, even with the recent update, we're still planning on the vacation. We've already paid for it, and I'm not sure how much of a refund we'd get if we cancelled now. Besides, we'll have two rooms -- we can always split it as girls in one and boys in the other (rather than adults/kids).

So, we're still together, still trying to work it all out. Please continue with the well wishes and good thoughts.

Quick update

Thank you everyone for your words of support and comfort -- they are so appreciated.

He is discussing counselling -- and I've made it clear that we go nowhere without it. He obviously has issues that he needs help to deal with. And counselling would not hurt me, or the kids either.

For those who have concerns for our safety -- he has never physically abused me, nor even threatened to do so while angry. So, please don't worry about our physical safety. We're fine -- if a little frazzled and stressed.

I've adjusted my work week, at least for this week, so that I am with the kids before and after school, working from home when I can. They need to know that they can count on me.

I know I'm no angel, not perfect, but I know the way he has treated me for my imperfections is so off. And I said and did things on Sunday, in reaction to him, that I am not proud of. I have apologized to him and to the kids.

I do feel somewhat vindicated in that the attorney, his co-workers, and the counsellor have all indicated that they feel he is way off-base and over-reacting. Obviously, if these things are bothering him enough to cause an outburst like Sundays, they need to be addressed.

So, we'll see. It's one day at a time. And, regardless of how this ends, I know I will come through it stronger and better. I am a survivor.

Hugs to you all.

The End?

I've thought repeatedly about how to put this down in words, but there is just no nice, easy way to say this ---

After 15 years, 3 kids, and just when I thought we were better than ever, my husband has decided he not only doesn't love me, but doesn't even like me (he said truly horrible, hurtful, nasty things) and wants a divorce.

He went to see an attorney today. All he really told me was that he can't afford to move out, and that the attorney thinks he's overreacting (not his exact words) in deciding to divorce me over the differences we have. And suggested counselling, which he (husband) has decided isn't worth it. And the people at his work who he told also think he's being ridiculous.

Just to be clear -- he finds me unattractive ("fat" and "ugly" were said) and does not like that I buy and read books (lots of books) and doesn't think I'm a good housecleaner. And that's a nice clean version of what he said to me, in front of the kids.

I'm at a loss. I could understand if I'd been unfaithful or if I were abusive towards him or the kids, or if we lived in squalor and filth, or I had turned him away every time he wanted sex...

The kids, of course, are upset. OC isn't talking about it. MC wants to go stay with friends. YC was too upset to go to school today so came to work with me.

I broke down at work when telling a friend, my manager, and then my boss. I've requested a flexible schedule so I can be more available for the kids and so far everyone is ok with that. Most of what I do really can be done from home. And the boss has suggested that perhaps this is not the time for me to make a trip out to one of our other facilities.

So, I sit here tonight, so stressed my back hurts from jaw to ankle, my head aches, my eyes ache, my ears ache and my heart aches. I feel like I've been so gullible and naive and stupid in believing him every time he has told me he loves me and likes me and wants me. Just a week and a half ago was Valentine's -- apparently it was all a lie.

Not sure if he'll decide to go through with it -- he's threatened in the past, every time he's gotten angry, but this is the first time he's actually gone to an attorney. Not sure what I want, other than not him, unless he gets some serious help. If he truly doesn't want me, then I don't want him to stay.

Emotionally, I know I will be fine. My concern leans more to the financial and to the kids' wellbeing. We just have to take it one day at a time.

And I don't know what will happen with this blog. Not sure I want to stop, but obviously it's focus will have to change from my real life experiences to more wishing, dreaming, hoping and spanko things I happen upon in the world around me. Kinda depends on if I still have a readership after all this...

Anyway, not asking for pity or anything, just needed to let people know what's going on.

Weekend & Days 11, 12, 13, & 14

I'd love to be able to regale you with the details of our hot and spankful weekend -- but I'd be lying. Seriously. As far as spankings and sex went, this weekend was a bust (ok, there was sex-- 2 quickies, that's it). DH was just too tired from all his travelling and time change and I was worn out from my week+ as a single parent. So we did chores (bought a dryer, did the grocery shopping, cleaned house, did laundry) and rested (I dozed, DH napped) and went to bed early. Saturday we didn't even do date night, and had the TV and the lights off before 1opm. And this week I have 3 days of meetings at a location 2 hours away, so I will have to leave earlier than usual and will be getting home later -- joy. And based on previous similar meetings, there will be a whole lot of "hurry up and wait" going on. Just great. I can feel the migraine already. So don't expect much from me this week. Sorry.

Anyway, since I don't have any weekend stories to share, here's my take on days 11, 12, 13, & 14 for Romantic Spanking Month.

Day 11 – Bend over the arm of the couch

This is something I would like to try. Unfortunately, in our day to day life it’s just not likely to happen. We have kids and they’re usually home when we’re home, so all our “action” occurs in our bedroom, with the door closed and the TV on. And while we have couches in the house, the way they are situated pretty much blocks the arms.
Hmmm, this might be something we could try on a night spent in a hotel…

Dec 12 – Pick an implement not designed for spanking

Oh, yes, can do, and have done often. Most of what we use are “pervertables” – hairbrush, bathbrush, belt, shoe, wooden spoons, etc. – not usually purchased for spanking (the bath brush being the exception here). Yet, somehow they end up being used to redden my backside.

Day 13 – Talk about spankings

DH and I don’t do this a whole lot. Generally, because I’m not really comfortable bringing the topic up; I never know what his reaction is going to be. I’ve found that the less I mention them, the more he does, at least in passing (or while we’re snuggled in bed and his hand finds my bottom) and not seriously. I do wish he’d be more willing to talk about them – what we’d like to try, what works and what doesn’t, what we each need/expect from a spanking – another thing to work on…

Day 14 – Show your lover how much you care

You all saw the “card” I sent to DH for Valentine’s – with him in France and me in the U.S., physical demonstration was not going to happen. And DH showed me how he cared by calling me and sending me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
While Valentine’s (and birthdays, anniversary, and other ‘holidays’) are good incentive to show love, I really try not to limit myself but let DH know as often as possible how much either love him, either by word or deed.

Happy Valentine's Day

DH gets home tomorrow, but I couldn't let Valentine's Day pass unrecognized, so late last night I created a loving letter and emailed it to him. I knew he'd get it first thing this morning, well before I'd be up. He called me as I was dropping YC off at child care. He sounded pretty amazed.
Thought I'd share it with you.

Things I love about you
That you love me, even after all these years (and all the weight)

That you (most of the time) get my wicked wit

How you smile when we’re sharing a look (usually about something silly a child has done)

That you’re a mushy drunk and not a mean one

That you’re willing to spank me

That you try to (sometimes) get all Dom with me
That you work so hard to take care of us

That you put up with my eccentricities

That you try to understand me

That you are confident and sure of yourself (without being arrogant or cocky)
That we fit so well together – and not just physically

That you’ll make sure I come first and in the middle, and sometimes last

That you don’t realize just how much power you do have over me

That you’re loving and playful
That you try to be a good father and a good husband
That you cook for yourself and for us

That you help out with the housework (and sometimes do the major amount)

How we can laugh so much together, sometimes over the silliest things

How we can snuggle and watch TV together before going to sleep

How supportive you are of me and the things I like to do (even if you don’t get it)

That you tell me that you love what I can do to you with my hands and mouth

That you still pay me compliments

I know I can think of more, but this should do, for now.

Days 7, 8, 9 & 10

Day 7 – Send your lover a sexy spanko e-mail.

Did this. It’s not unusual for me to send DH loving emails while he’s travelling. This time, I added a suggestive picture to the words.
I went to http://www.naughtycards.com/. If you haven’t been there, there have a pretty good selection of sexy cards, for all sorts, not just spankos.
I knew that DH wouldn’t actually get the card until Friday, but it would be there as soon as he logged on.
And I know he got it, and liked it, because he sent me this message:
Thank you for the card it is my Desk top back ground.

Day 8 – Play act a trip to the principal’s office.

Even if DH were home, I don’t think this would happen. DH just isn’t into this kind of playing. Ok, I haven’t really brought role-playing up with him, but knowing him, I just can’t see him getting into it. I know, he might surprise me. He has recently mentioned that he would like to see me in a maid’s uniform (you know, the sexy French type). At some point I will get one and will see what happens next.

So, maybe I’ll have to bring play-acting up with him, see if he’s willing to give it a try.

Day 9 – It’s fun to spank while making love

Yep, yep, yep.
While obviously we didn’t do this on the ninth, it’s a standard part of our sex life. One of the reasons DH like me on all fours is the ready access to my backside. Me, I like the spanking to start before the actual intercourse, but spanking during just adds to the experience. I can’t see him, I can’t tell what he might be doing when a hand is removed from my hips, and the anticipation of knowing a spank might be coming just kicks things up a bit.

Day 10 – Show off your lingerie

If you’ve read some of my other posts, you’ll know that I do use lingerie to spice things up. Since I don’t wear pajamas, DH knows what’s on my mind when I show up wearing lingerie. And I will probably be wearing some this weekend.

Look what i found

I know I already posted today, but I couldn't resist.

I was not looking for anything spanking related, just looking for something to decorate an "I miss you" message to DH.

And look what I found on webfetti.

Spankos -- We're everywhere!

Days 5 & 6

Day 5 – OTK is A-OK today! and Day 6 – Try a wet spanking.

Didn’t manage either of these.

OTK is not something we’ve done. Not because I’m not interested (well, duh, I’m a spanko), but mainly because of physical limitations. I am just not in a shape where either of us would be comfortable with me draped over his lap. Even if it’s across his legs while he’s on the bed, I still am not comfortable mentally and worry that it’s not comfortable for him physically. So I haven’t pushed the issue. Maybe someday I’ll feel ready to give this a try.

Wet – I just could not come up with a way to set this up. Seeing as we had both showered that morning before work, insisting on a joint shower before bed and pulling implements into it, just seemed too obvious. And too likely to be rejected. Remember, DH ‘claims’ to not be that into spanking and gets rather standoffish if he feels like I’m pushing it at him too much (his definition of too much, not mine). *Sigh*

And logistically I just couldn’t figure out a good way, even if he were totally into it.

*The shower is way too small for much activity – I’d be worried that he’d hurt himself or break something while trying to get a good swing going.

*Next option would be to get out soaking wet and take up position somewhere in the bathroom (over the edge of the tub, leaning over the counter, on all fours). This would be way too freaking cold. Our bathroom is always like a walk in cooler; and being wet from the shower would leave us shivering, and not with arousal or anticipation. And then we’d also have to have water, warm, on hand to keep my backside good and wet, making a mess.

*Finally, we could move into the bedroom. But it’s carpeted and in the effort to keep me good and wet, the carpet would likely end up good and wet as well. Just not a good idea.

All in all, just too much work for an iffy scenario on a work night.

But I’m not giving up on this as an activity to pursue some other time.

Now, not all was lost, as we did engage in some enjoyable sex. With DH leaving for over a week, we needed to make sure we had some quality time together. And we did.

Days 3 & 4 + some other stuff

Dear Readers -- Down at the very end of this post I've asked a question that I really would like to receive answers to, if you're willing. And I thank you in advance.

Day 3 -- Read some new spanking blogs

Did this, using Bonnie’s Kindred Spirits list to provide some guidance/inspiration.

A Taste of the Birch
ABC’s of My Life
I’m Her Husband Not Another Father

I’ve added the feeds from all three to my feeds list so I can more easily keep up with them. I like that ABC’s and Husband are written by wife and husband, respectively. For whatever reason, women seem to be more into writing about what goes on with their lives while the men seem to be a little more reticient. It’s nice to get the male and female perspectives.

Day 4 – It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that sting

So this night, we were basically going for the plain old vanilla (as we define it) action. Being a Monday, we’d both had work that day and were going to have to get up the next morning and do it all again (work, not sex *sigh*). So no fancy dress up or laying out of accessories, just undressing and going at it with the TV on in the background.

DH was watching a recorded Leno and I snuggled up next to him. Hands started moving – mine over him, his over me. Kissing, caressing, stroking, squeezing. I do believe there were a few swats at my backside *grin*, but nothing I would classify as a spanking. DH requested some oral attention, so I removed myself from the bed to kneel at his feet. Besides me on my hands and knees during sex, this would be DH’s favorite position to see me in.

Keeping in mind that this day was needing some sting, I managed to reach over to DH’s bedside table and rummage in the drawers to find a certain toy – a red rubber multi-strand whip. DH doesn’t use this one often, but I really like it when he does – it’s got a lovely thud/sting combo going on. A pleasurable thud/sting, unlike some other implements he uses fairly regularly. I handed it to him and he used it lightly, mainly over my shoulders and back as he was finding it difficult to reach further down.

DH tossed the whip onto the bed then helped me up and into his favorite position. And then, well, you know… the usual – enter, thrust, orgasm-me, orgasm-him, relax onto bed.

Then I had myself a bit of fun.

DH went into the bathroom, to do whatever he needed to do. And instead of shifting my position (as he’d requested), I stayed sideways across the bed, blocking DH’s spot. A calculated risk, as the whip was next to me on the bed. When he came out and saw me still where he’d left me, he was less than pleased. He again told me to move. I looked up over my shoulder and clear as day told him, “Make me.” He responded with, “I just wish I could.”

Now, I can’t say with any certainty who looked at the whip first. All I know is that he saw it, knew what to do, picked it up and applied it heartily to my backside. Ahhh, such lovely heat, such lovely sting. Didn’t take too many strikes before I was giggling and scrambling out of the way, onto my side of the bed, to his remarks about doing as he says, being in trouble, etc.

What wonderful, lovely (and sting-y) fun.

And the other stuff

Yesterday while at the store I was looking at Valentine cards for DH. Saw a couple that had me laughing in the middle of the aisle and getting odd looks from the kiddies. Keep in mind I'm paraphrasing as I don't have the cards in question.

1st card--

Front -- I've got an idea for a different way to play Texas Hold 'Em...

Inside -- ... I'll go get the rope.

2nd card --

Front -- I went to one of those stores where you can make the special 'bears'...

Inside -- They threw me out after I added the handcuffs and the black leather whip. (Accompanied by a picture of a teddie bear with cuffs on the wrists and ankles, holding handcuffs in the right paw and a whip in the left)

Got a couple of sexy ones for DH. We just don't do the mushy sentimental cards -- just can't. Not that we don't love each other and tell each other this, but those cards are just so not us. Ok, well, they're DH after he's had a few drinks (he's a mushy drunk *said with love*).

And had an interesting conversation with DH today. I was out running errands during my lunch hour. He called and of course I had left my phone in the car (duh). So I called him back, and over an absolutely horrid echo, had the following basic conversation.

DH: Where are you?

Me: out running errands.

DH: What errands?

I ran down the list, even able to say "I did too" when he commented that I probably hadn't done something he'd asked me to do. After which I said, "I've been such a good girl today, I think I should get a reward."

DH: Go give yourself a spanking.

Me: [laughing] That's no fun!

DH laughed too then went on with the conversation. (wait, wait, wait -- a little background is needed before this part. Back on the 3rd I was a sneaky little minx and went on to My Bottom Smarts on DH's iPhone [looking at the Romantic Spanking Month calendar] and then did not exit all the way out before handing it back to him. I did this purposely -- I knew this meant that the next time he went on line with his phone, MBS would be staring out at him. And the next day while at work, he called to ask what was I looking at, was that some spanking stuff, etc. I answered in the affirmative and that was the end of it --- I thought....)

DH: I was looking at that spanking website, the one that is red, that you had on my iPhone.

Me: [silence... really how am I supposed to respond to that?]

DH: What does [ ] D mean?

It was not a perfect connection, lots of static with a bad echo, so I thought he was asking about BDSM and said what that stands for.

DH: No. DD.

Me: DD? Domestic Discipline.

DH: OK. That's right. [ok, apparently this was a trick question since he already knew the answer -- now I can't help wondering why the test] I googled it to find out what it meant. Domestic Discpline means there's spankings but it's not sex?

Me: Different people practice it differently. For some people, there's sex no matter what kind of spanking it was.

And that was pretty much the end of the conversation. I'm guessing he checked out a few of the Kindred Spirits from MBS in order to find mention of DD.

And yes, I realize, and did at the time, that by leaving MBS up for DH to find, he might, just might, if he really took a look at the blog, notice over in the Kindred Spirits listing a blog called Robin's Red Bottom, make the not so difficult deduction that this could be his wife's blog, and check it out. Only now, knowing that he has been checking things out, there's a wee bit of panic coursing through my system.

Now big question (and please, please answer, either through comments of email) -- Do you think I've blogged anything that DH might take horrible offense at? That might upset him terribly?

I know I've occasionally complained about something going on with us, but overall what I've written has been positive, loving and supportive -- right? (pleadingly)

Romantic Spanking Month -- Day 2 (cont)

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Romantic Spanking Month -- Days 1 & 2

Bonnie posted this calendar on her blog, My Bottom Smarts. And I've decided to give as many suggestions as possible a try and post about it here. Bonnie comes up with such great ideas.

Feb 1 -- Buy a new implement.

I seriously considered this, but didn't do so. Two reasons -- weather was too bad for me to make a lunch time run to any nearby stores that might carry an implement we don't currently have; and we haven't lately been using the ones we already have so didn't feel I could truly justify it. I did look online and found some possibles. I may still purchase something later this month.

Feb 2 -- Tie her up, tie her down (part 1).

DH and I have never, til this past Saturday night, incorporated any sort of bondage in any of our play (not for lack of suggestions by either of us, or purchases of beginner's kits). But with this calendar as incentive, I did what I could to make it happen.

Saturday night was date night, and I was determined to make things happen. Last week I just felt too miserable, then it was period week so no action, and DH leaves this Thursday and doesn't come back til the 15th, so we needed some serious us time. And I got things started before we even left the house.

We'd been napping, resting up for the evening. When we woke, I reached over and started caressing hubby, stroking and squeezing, doing whatever it took to get him hard and ready. Then I leaned over and took him into my mouth. Based on the physical and verbal responses I was getting, DH was really enjoying this unasked for oral attention. We were both fully clothed, and I was positioned so that DH could at least rub and caress my bottom while I switched from mouth to hand and back again. He did make comments about if I kept this action up, he was going to have to fuck me. I just continued paying undivided attention to his hard, hot cock. A couple of times I could tell he was getting close to coming -- I backed off, but continued stroking and squeezing. He asked me if I wanted him to come, or if I wanted him to wait till later. I didn't answer; he could stop me at anytime, if that was what he really wanted. Apparently, it wasn't :D. It didn't take too much more oral attention before I heard his breathing change and felt his cock get even harder. And he came as I continued to suck and lick until he was finished. DH couldn't tell me enough how much he had liked his surprise, and would like it if I did such things more often (surprise -- not).

Then we showered and got ready to go out. Out of DH's view I applied some spray glimmer 'tattoos' (upper left breast was "nice" in a heart, and right bottom cheek was "naughty") and put on a corset with matching panties. Weather unfortunately was not appropriate for stillettos (or heels of any sort), and they probably would have been too painful for wearing out. I like surprising him with these little teasers while we're out.

After dinner and a few drinks, we came home. While DH made sure everything was closed up and turned off for the night, I rushed upstairs, stripped down to the corset, put on the stillettos, put on my robe, and got out a few things -- oils, lubes, bondage kit, etc., but absolutely no spanking implements. I did this purposely -- DH had a week or so ago made some comments, again, about my having a one track mind, always reading and writing about spanking, and always expecting him to provide (not true in my mind, but it's what he was feeling). I was not going to push spanking at him, it was going to have to be all his idea.

To be continued...

I am such a slug...

3 weeks?!?! How the bloody hell can it be almost 3 weeks since I last managed to post here? You'd think I've gone into hibernation. But nope, just worn out. Not to go into the boring details, but there's multiple stressors at work, 'fun' at home with the hubby and 3 kiddies (remember, 2 of them are teens), visit from in-laws, and the lovely winter weather.

And I didn't realize how much my back was affecting all the aspects of my life. I've had back issues since I was a teen and have seen chiropractors on and off over the years. I was going pretty regularly the end of last year, but hadn't been since just before the holidays. With all the stresses lately, I've been in pain and suffering headaches and such pretty regularly the last couple of weeks. So I finally made it back in today. Oh. My. God. I feel a thousand times better -- nothing like a massage, an adjustment, and some stim to make you feel better. And I deliberately planned it for today since tomorrow is date night and we've been 'inactive' all week.

Now, even in my misery, I did see that I continued to have guests here and just want to say "thank you" for not giving up on me. And I did manage to get a few more blogs added to my "Blogs I Like" list (and yes, I really do read them pretty regularly).

I've got two chiro appts scheduled for next week, plus DH is leaving for France on Thursday and not coming back til the following week, so I'll be able to get plenty of rest, which means (hopefully) more creative energy.... which means... I WILL BLOG!!

Happy February, Happy Valentines Day, and Happy Spanking Month!

Bits & Pieces

Quick update: did not get any the last night I posted. DH was interested Thursday night, but by Thursdays I am so tired... couldn't even keep my eyes open. So no fun until this weekend, and even then it was limited by exhaustion. Oh, well, maybe next weekend, after he gets back from Mexico...

Anybody watch "Power of 10" on CBS? I never had but I happened to catch a bit this past week, just by accident. We have a DVR and usually while exercising, I will watch something previously recorded. I don't know if all DVR's work this way, but when you finish watching a recorded program and select "Done", the menu opens up with a window in a corner showing the show currently airing on the channel the DVR is on. Wednesday I hit "done" and "Power of 10" popped up, just in time for me to hear Drew Carey ask, "What percentage of Americans said they've been spanked as an adult?" And his hand went up as he grinned.

The answer: 13%, with the male contestant guessing 25% and the female contestant guessing 16% (the info on the poll and the breakdown of pollers can be found at the "Power of 10" website). The website lists all the questions and answers for each episode (really, 71% of American men feel that they understand women? Who? Where? When most of the time I don't understand myself, how can I expect a man too? hmmmmm).

Out of curiosity, I ran the numbers, using population data found on Wikipedia (I know it's not necessarily the most accurate):

218,544,291 adults (age 20+) -- 105,739,518 males and 112,804,773 females

13% = 28,410,758

12% of males = 12,688,742

14% of females = 15,792,668

[Can't tell I'm into numbers and analysis and research, can you?]

Obviously, since I like to took at numbers and such, I also like to check out my blog stats on statcounter. And I keep a little record in excel. I was updating these one night and DH asked what I was doing (recording blog stats), then why? (curiosity). His response: "Curiosity killed the cat." And I shot back with no hesitation, "And satisfaction brought it back." Curiosity might as well be my middle name -- wouldn't have found all the wonderful blogs and sites out there, or started my own, or talked to hubby about my spanking interests if not for curiosity. Curiosity is what keeps things going -- what's around the bend, over that hill, in that book, in that TV show, under that rock, up that tree, and on and on.

Saw another new show this weekend: "How to Look Good Naked." As a well-padded woman, I found this inspiring. So far, my favorite quote was from Carson Kressly: "0 is not a size; it's a warning." Now, no offense to anyone out there who is a size 0 and comes by it naturally, but you are in the minority. Most women come nowhere close to that size and should not be made to feel miserable because they aren't. Yes, I need to be at a healthier weight, but a positive attitude about my body as it is now is beneficial.

Fun websites: Orisinal games

Big Red Button

Jigzone Jigsaw puzzles

JibJab

The weather's dreary, it's back to work tomorrow, Hubby heads off for the week, and the laundry's not done. Just another Sunday in winter. I do plan on updating my list of blogs I read, as there are many more I check out regularly than are currently listed. Gotta love RSS feeds -- make it so much easier to keep up with new posts. And tomorrow's a brand new day...

Once Upon A Tuesday Night

Since I'm not getting any, and haven't for over a week, and am so so horny, I decided to revisit some past experiences I'd noted down but hadn't posted. Since I'm still not completely over the cold, mostly evident in my voice, I think DH is steering clear in an attempt not to come down with it himself. I even showered and came to bed completely bare last night, snuggled up to him, caressed him --- and what did I get, a few desultory pats on the back, pats that came nowhere near my bottom. Darnit! I am going to try again tonight ;)

So, for your reading pleasure (I hope), here's what happened one night last October.

Last Tuesday (Oct 30th), DH surprised me – pleasantly.

I usually feel like I have to ask for spankings (other than on Saturday date nights when they’ve become an expected part of the evening, but even then it’s not unusual for me to make requests about how I’d like things to go). And during the work week, we don’t generally get a chance to get too involved. But this day was different.

Since I knew I was going to have to be up at the awful hour of 3am the next morning, I showered that night. While I was drying off, DH came into the bathroom, turned me sideways and gave me several strong hand spanks. At first I watched in the mirror, but that just seemed a little too, I don’t know, odd?, so I turned the other way. And the whole time DH is asking me questions: “you like this, don’t you?”, “you like spankings, don’t you?”, etc. I couldn’t manage to verbally respond, but did get a few nods in. It’s silly, but I find it embarrassing to have to answer these types of questions – I know my face was red.

I didn’t expect anything more – it’s not unusual for DH to give me a few random spanks without it ever turning into a full fledged spanking (can be a little frustrating). We had kids to get to bed, the house to lock up, and I was hoping to get to sleep early. So I finished my after-shower activities and went to make sure everything was ready for the next day.

DH and I try to snuggle every night before going to sleep, usually while watching TV, and Tuesday was no exception. I should mention that when I shower before bed (as opposed to before work), I don’t wear anything to bed, not even panties – I’m freshly scrubbed and lotioned/oiled and it just seems a shame to cover up. DH always acts surprised when we’re snuggling and his hand is roaming and he discovers that I am completely nude. And a bare bottom is a pretty unambiguous invitation to sex and/or a spanking.

So I’m snuggled up, not doing anything special, and DH turns to me and says, “you want a spanking, don’t you? I think you need a spanking.” I just looked at him, floored by the fact that he was taking the initiative. Thoughts were running through my mind: ‘did he just suggest a spanking, on a Tuesday, it’s a weeknight, does he mean it, oh my’ and so on. I’m not sure I even made a sound or movement of assent, but it obviously didn’t matter whether I agreed with him or not, because he got out of bed, told me to get ready, and started getting his “toys” out. I shook off the shock and gathered up the pillows and got into position. DH does not do warm-up spankings, he just starts right in, full force. He shifted between his hand and the leather paddle – I think the hairbrush and ping pong paddle may have been used a bit too, but I’m not always able to tell.

Now remember, I’m completely bare. DH is dressed (in his pajamas). I like that dichotomy. I often request that he stay dressed during the spanking; I feel it just adds another D/s layer to the whole experience. DH did a nice and thorough job, not spending too much time in any one spot or on one cheek, spreading the spanks around, varying the implement and the angle of application and the force (although none could be described as light). However, there was one spank that went a little astray, hitting that incredibly sensitive area between my thighs and below my bottom – I’m sure other ladies out there know what I’m talking about. Holy cow, but that stings. A spank right there will definitely get a reaction from me. And a comment about how that ‘is not my bottom.’ He just laughs and continues with what he’s doing.

I know the action is going to change from the spanking to erotic touch when he brings out the oil (which reminds me, we’re getting low, guess a trip to that ‘special store’ needs to happen soon – I’ve been told I’m responsible for supply inventory). I love the way it feels as he’s taking the time to rub the oil all over my backside, into the crack and my ‘rosebud’ (I don’t really like that name, but calling it by it’s true name just seems so unsexy). He usually also coats his special part as well, in preparation.

But the spanking has not ended just because I’m now oiled, oh no. It’s just interspersed with more rubbing of my entire ass and some dips down to my pussy, in and out. I have no idea how long this all went on, time becomes a blur during spankings and sex. Eventually, DH decided it was time and moving up directly behind me, pulled my hips back, spread my legs, and entered. There is something so, mmmm, words fail me… incredible about the way it feels when he first enters me, that feeling and pressure of being opened and stretched, and as he pushes all the way in, the fullness of his cock in my pussy, the pressure of his hips against my spanked bottom. And then when he starts moving, oh my goodness – I swear there is nothing better. DH fits so right, everything is stimulated – g-spot, labia, clit. And his hands – on my hips, at my waist, applying more spanks, sometimes even coming up to my shoulders. I know I came multiple times, even squirting a little.

And then, you know it, anal. Sometimes I don’t want it and will tell him ‘no’, if he stops to ask before entering. Sometimes it just hurts too bad and I have to insist that he stop (I really don’t know why sometimes it hurts so bad and other times it doesn’t when everything is done the same each time, just happens). But this was one of those nights where it felt not only right but oh so very very good. DH was in fine form, thrusting hard and fast, causing me to orgasm again and again, screaming into the pillows clasped in my arms, before finally coming himself and then collapsing softly over my back as my legs slid off the bed and my feet to the floor.

After clean up, we snuggled till I fell asleep. Of course, I was exhausted at work, having gotten only about 4 hours of sleep, but it was oh, so worth it. Especially since there were some lovely little marks on my backside for the next few days to serve as reminders.

1st Post of 2008

How's that for a title?

Just taking a quick moment to check in. Been a doozy of a week -- worked New Year's Eve then went out with hubby. Felt too ill and tired for any fun when we came home (no, I did not drink too much, sheesh -- the music was so loud, and we were there for 4 hours, that it made me physically ill). Took it easy New Year's day then back to work on Wednesday, with a nasty cold, which I am still not over. Even stayed home in bed on Thursday. So there has been absolutely no action of any kind since New Year's.

Thanks to everyone who keeps checking in here -- glad to see you haven't given up on me.

I promise to get some 'real' posts on here soon.