Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure


• * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this


• * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit


• * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally


• * Ask me questions to help me get clear


• * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery


• * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings


• * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation


• * Let me know you like what I've done or said


• * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life

What I Like About Being an Audrey

• * being nonjudgmental and accepting


• * caring for and being concerned about others


• * being able to relax and have a good time


• * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around


• * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator


• * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now


• * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being an Audrey

• * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive


• * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline


• * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally


• * being confused about what I really want


• * caring too much about what others will think of me


• * not being listened to or taken seriously

Audreys as Children Often

• * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant


• * tune out a lot, especially when others argue


• * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Audreys as Parents

• * are supportive, kind, and warm


• * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

iGoogle

Don't know if anyone out there also uses iGoogle, but they just made some layout changes that really suck. Tabs used to be on the top -- now they're on the left side, totally screwing up my gadgets. And it's not an option, they're just there.

If you use iGoogle and are also unhappy with the changes, a petition has been started and can be accessed here http://www.petitiononline.com/igoogle/petition.html
Can't be certain Google will pay attention, but I would think that the more people who complain, the more likely they are to pay heed and hopefully make the requested changes.

Ok. So you can see I haven't been posting all that much lately (hah -- hardly at all).

But, thanks to Google I am able to keep up with all my favorite blogs. I can take a brief break while at work and read them in the Google Reader. Only problem is... I can't comment :(
OK, I probably could, but that would require actually going to the blog which then has a possibility of showing up in my computer history (I'm at work, remember). So... I don't risk it. I make notes of posts I want to go back to so I can comment, but by the time I leave work, go to the gym, make sure the kids are fed and then in bed, I'm too exhausted to get on line.
Point is, I am still here and avidly enjoying all of you out there who do manage to get regular posts and comments in. I'm feeling like a major lurker (bad, bad, bad) when that's really not what I like or want to be.

Very little beyond TV and sleep is happening in our bedroom lately. And the TV watching is pretty much controlled by DH. Damn sports. And the moment one sports season finally ends, another 1 (or 2) pops up to take it's place. 3 out of 4 of DH's preferred baseball teams are out, greatly reducing the number of games he may want to see, but I know we'll be watching 'til the end. And now football and basketball are starting up. DH isn't so much into football, but if the local team is playing, we're watching. And basketball? That's the very first sport he got hooked on -- LA Lakers. And he still watches that like crazy. Only good thing when he travels is that I finally get to watch what I want. :D

Speaking of DH and travels. He's home this week but leaves Sunday for Russia and then France. And just in time for his parents to arrive. I'm stressing already. They're nice people but there are some major cultural and language gaps. Hopefully relatives in the area will help keep them entertained while I'm working.

And work -- I have 10 unpaid furlough days I have to take between now and the end of the year. YEAH to no work, BOO to no pay and no decrease in workload, just fewer days to use it. And they're taking money from me every pay period whether I take days off or not. So 10 furlough days, 1 vacation day, 2 floater holidays, and 2 freebies to take in the next 3 months. My hope is that on some of these days off I can catch up not only with some household things I've been putting off, but also with the blogosphere (reading, writing, commenting, etc.). I plan to start by using one of my freebies tomorrow -- DH is taking the day off and the kids are in school; I'm really hoping for some quality time *wink, wink, grin*

Hmmmmm... can't think of anything else to jot down right now.... maybe later...

Cravings

Why is it that the moment you can't have something, you want it more than anything else? You think about it, dream about it, fantasize about it, see it everywhere...

And, yes, I'm talking sex (and spankings) here. Although it does apply just as well to chocolate :)

So, DH and I are still struggling to get back in sync. Had some nice times last weekend, but we're not back like we were a while ago. DH is off travelling again this week (unavailable) -- and I've been sooooo horny. It's driving me nuts!

Now, I can of course *cough* take care of myself :D But's just not the same as being with that special someone, pleasuring and being pleasured.

And it's not only while I'm home that I'm feeling this way. It's like I'm in a constant state of arousal -- when I get up, while I'm commuting, while at work, after the gym (ok, for some reason, working out really works me up, the endorphins fuel the hormones, or something). And naughty girl that I am, I don't always wait 'til I'm home, locked in my bedroom, before I scratch the itch. And I know I'm not the only one who sneaks away into the bathroom at work, or finds a secluded parking place, or even indulges while driving (a woman called the radio station day and admitted it).

DH gets home this evening. Not sure what the weekend holds, between travel exhaustion (him), work exhaustion (me), baseball games (him), laundry (me)... Hopefully we'll find the time and energy to fully enjoy each other.

100

Well, I finally did it -- 100 posts! Whoo hoo!

And in all the work craziness I managed to completely miss my 1 year blogiversary, way back in July.

And look at my stat counter -- up over 40,000.

Wow. So much has happened in one year and 100 posts -- the good, the bad, the downright ugly; trials, tribulations and triumphs.

Well, here's to 100 more posts, another year of blogging an 40,000 more "hits". Thank you for staying with me so far, and I hope you continue to keep me company.

My Own Spanking Story

Go here and get your very own story...

I love the messages that pop up even before the story:

"Robin Michelle! You've been buying books? You're in for it now, naughty girl!"

"A good panties-down spanking with the bathbrush, that's what you'll be getting!"

Robin Gets Herself a Spanking
Robin was in trouble and she knew it. She wondered if DH would spank her right away or make her wait. ''Waiting is the worst!'' she thought, though in this case maybe it would be better to put it off... She didn't need to speculate, though, she'd know soon enough - she could hear a man's footsteps approaching the door. As she watched, the handle turned with what seemed like an unnatural slowness. An icy hand gripped her right in the middle of her bottom.
''Act natural,'' she told herself, which only caused her to give a nervous giggle just as her husband walked in.
''What's wrong?'' DH asked immediately.
''Me? Nothing! Why do you ask?''
''Just that you have a strange look on your face.'' So much for ''natural,'' Robin thought. DH continued. ''Okay, what have you done?''
''Um... nothing?''
''Robin...''
''Yes, DH?''
''Come on, out with it. Now.'' He had never been all that patient in these situations and was already heading toward the bedroom. Robin hurried to head him off.
''It's nothing, honest. It's just that... Well, I...'' Try as she might, she couldn't think of a way to make it sound any better.
''went to the bookstore and bought more books I didn't really need,'' she said with a rush. DH stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to look at her.
''Robin Michelle! It's nothing, honest?'' he mocked in a voice of disbelief. ''It doesn't sound like nothing. It sounds a lot like buying books.'' Robin felt herself tighten at that words - it had unfortunate connotations - unfortunate for her and unfortunate for her bottom. ''We've talked about buying books, haven't we?'' DH's speech went on. ''We have a way of dealing with buying books, don't we, naughty girl?'' Every time he used the term ''buying books'' he might as well be saying ''spanking,'' she thought. ''Robin Michelle, you do know how we deal with buying books, don't you?'' Instinctively Robin's hands shot back to cover her bottom, in a way answering DH's question very clearly. Though that's not the answer her voice gave.
''Well, I know... but... I thought... maybe this time...
''You thought maybe this time what, naughty girl? That you wouldn't be spanked? That buying books wouldn't get you a good bare-bottomed spanking?''
Robin didn't want a spanking - DH's spankings hurt! While she was getting them they stung like mad - she was always convinced she just had to get away and never could - and they left her so sore! Not just sore, very sore - sore like when you sit down a long time later you can still feel it like you just got it, that kind of sore. And she certainly didn't want one of those - especially not on her bare bottom!
And that was exactly how her husband was going to spank her - over his knee, her head down, jeans off, bottom up, panties down, bottom bare, her pale skin inviting his stern reproval! DH had never once let her keep her panties up. Quickly Robin's mind raced to remember what panties she'd put on, thankful that her black lace ones wouldn't add any to her embarrassment - having her bottom bared was embarrassing enough as it was!
Part of her wanted to run and hide, but most of her simply followed DH into the bedroom - the bedroom, where she was always taken to be spanked. Much as she hated getting a spanking, especially one of DH's spankings, she really did dislike buying more books when she already had so many, and really wished she could stop doing it. If having her husband spank her would stop her from buying books, maybe that was a good thing - if only it didn't have to be such a spanking!
Once in the bedroom, DH looked at her sternly as he sat on the bed, extending his legs as her soon-to-be ''resting'' place. My God, already? Robin thought to herself, but DH, instead of immediately motioning her over his lap and into place, clasped a hand on each of her arms.
''Now , I want to be fair about this, you know that, I hope. You should also know that I'm disappointed to hear about your buying books.'' Robin's spirits sunk even lower, though for a new reason now. She didn't like to disappoint DH. ''Very,'' he added. Maybe she really did deserve a spanking. ''I want you to tell me how this happened,'' he concluded. She tried to bow her head but with a gentle touch he raised her chin and made her look him in the eye.
''I don't know...'' was all she could think of to tell him. It would take too long to explain and not do any good anyway - but he wasn't about to settle for that.
''This buying books of yours, it must have had some reason. It didn't just happen, now did it? And I want you to tell me how or why it did.'' His face hardened even further. ''And you are going to tell me.''
''It's like this - I'm a bookophile/readaholic. I see a book that sounds interesting and I just have to have it.''
''I see. Robin?''
''Yes, DH?''
''Did I just hear anything that would keep me from giving you a spanking? Anything that would discourage me from giving you each and every swat of the spanking you've earned?''
''I don't know... maybe...'' she replied sullenly.
''Robin Michelle.''
''No. I guess not...''
''No. Nothing I heard dissuades me in the least. You, naughty girl, have behaved yourself into a panties-down spanking and now you are going to get it.''
Fighting off thoughts of how soon DH would have her pale skin bare and blushing, Robin moved hesitantly to her husband's side and was a little surprised when he didn't immediately pull her over his waiting lap. Glancing up at his stern face, her surprise turned to dismay and she felt her stomach tighten.
''Oh no,'' she said softly, hopelessly.
''Oh yes,'' came his reply. ''You know better.''
''No, really - please? I don't need that... do I?'' This last was no more than a whisper.
''You need to learn, and the bathbrush helps you learn. Don't make me waste my time - spanking you by hand has never changed a thing.
''Go,'' DH demanded and commanded.
Reluctantly - very reluctantly - Robin trudged off to get the bathbrush. Retrieving it from his bedside table, she took just a tiny moment to feel both its unfeeling wood and her own twinge of rebelliousness - ooo, to throw it, hide it, destroy it! Now that would be satisfying! Instead, the bathbrush would have its satisfaction on her, heating, punishing, scalding her poor helpless bottom. And if she ever did manage to do away with it, Robin had no doubt that DH would produce something even worse to deal with her current infraction and that additional one as well!
Shaking herself free of such imaginings, Robin and her thoughts returned to the bedroom and her husband's side, meekly proffering the demanded and dreaded bathbrush, knowing full well that in mere moments it would be blistering her bottom, and thoroughly. Her poor little bottom! What did it ever do? It wasn't the one that had a problem with buying books, she was. Why should it have to suffer? It just wasn't fair!
Oblivious to these objections, DH still sat like a deity on the bed, waiting to tumble her over his unforgiving thighs. As he reached to take the bathbrush from her, she pulled it back slightly.
''You'll start slowly, won't you?'' She knew she wasn't supposed to ask and he always replied with ''Is that what you deserve, naughty girl?'' But this once DH just took the bathbrush from her and nodded sympathetically.
Seeing his reaction Robin realized that she must be in even more trouble than she imagined. Her whole body stiffened and shook and she couldn't keep herself from turning and trying to run away - but DH was too quick for her, he'd grabbed her wrist even as the bathbrush left her hand. Before she knew it she was over his knee and the blood was rushing to her head.
Spank! He began immediately - spank spank spank spank spank!
''Ow! Oh! Wait!'' No matter how much time DH would take leading up to it, the first swat always startled her. Alternating stiffening and squirming, she quickly sunk into place as her husband jostled her for a better and steadier grip.
Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!
''Ow! No! Too hard!'' Robin protested, though really her jeans muffled the effect considerably - nearly all of this pain was caused by her own tension and apprehension. So far!
Spank spank spank spank! spank! spank!
''Ow ow ow!'' she continued, only to have DH chastise her further.
''Settle down, naughty girl - we haven't even started. I''m just getting you settled in. You can't even feel anything through your jeans.''
Spank spank spank! spank spank! spank spank!
''No, no! I feel it! I do! don't!'' Robin insisted somewhat nonsensically - the chance that he would stop already was non-existent.
''Shall I stop already? I thought I was doing this for you - you do know what's next, don't you?''
Ah - here was the dilemma upon whose horns Robin lay. To be spanked over her jeans, and therefore longer - or to shorten it a little and jump right to ''pants-down''? Or even panties-down? She made the same coward's choice she always had before.
Spank spank spank spank - spank spank spank! spank spank!
''No, no - that's okay,'' she decided immediately, and having done so found that this phase was much more tolerable. Maybe by the time he gets to my bare bottom I'll be ready, Robin thought. Right. And maybe his arm will wear out first - or I'll just fly to the moon!
Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!
''Owww. Owwwwww,'' Robin moaned softly, concluding that some sort of reaction was still in her favor. ''Hey! Wait!'' For no sooner had she resigned herself to an over-the-jeans spanking than the jeans-spanking was over! ''Stop! Not yet!''
''Oh?'' Spank spank spank spank!!! ''Haven't had enough yet? I thought you were in a hurry!'' Spank spank spank spank!!! Robin's husband saw to it that these final swats before her jeans deserted her made all the more of an impression.
''OW! Geez!'' She twisted around in an attempt to see if he was still using his hand - it seemed harder than ever! All she managed to see was Alex removing her first line of defense. He slid the blue fabric off her bottom, revealing her black lace panties.
Spank spank spank spank!!! Haaaaah, Robin thought.
''Haaaaaaah!'' Robin said. She had thought of her jeans as sort of insubstantial it but had been giving her more protection than she realized - now with nothing between his hand and her thin panties his every spank stung and stung to high heaven! Spank spank! spank spank! spank spank spank! spank spank spank!
''Owwwwooooooo? Oww? Ow, ow?'' In her mind Robin questioned if DH really needed to spank her quite this completely.
Picking up on this, her husband didn't hesitate. ''If you didn't want this spanking, naughty girl, you shouldn't have been buying books,'' he decreed, his logic unassailable. Like she hadn't thought of that! ''You know what buying books gets you - maybe next time you'll have an easier time deciding what you really want!''
''Grrrr,'' Robin grrrr'd - quietly.
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank! spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
''Ow oh ow oh ow ow ow!''
From long experience DH knew just what he was doing. Half or more of his spanks landed where her panties had ridden up due to her unflattering position. Not only did they sting all the worse, they were those same low spots Robin already knew she'd feel long afterward. How was she ever supposed to sit again?
Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank! On they went, like partners volleying on a tennis court - except that her soft bottom was no match for her husband's hard hand, and in this match she was being soundly beaten! And the sounds of that beating were Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank!
''Oh oh please,'' she protested - a lot of these spanks should count as panties-down! Not that they would, and not that she thought otherwise for even a moment. Nonetheless Robin felt that some sort of protest was called for. Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! Ooooo, DH knew just how to make her feel those! And Robin's poor little bottom did - each and every one!
Then quickly a lot more protest was very much called for!
''Oh no - really - no, please, no. Please?'' Her husband had stopped spanking long enough to pluck at the waistband of her panties - and she did not want them down! She grabbed them herself and held on tightly. ''Not those - they don't make a difference anyway,'' she claimed, fibbing slightly - though she was always surprised what a difference they did make. One by one, DH peeled her fingers from her black lace panties. And then they were gone.
Spank! spank! Her pale cheeks, only slightly colored by his gradual chastisement, were now fully under his hand - and eyes. Hold still! she told herself, wanting to minimize any jiggling or inappropriate exposure - try to hold still!
Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!
Maybe kicking and squirming was a better approach after all!
Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!
Suddenly he was in a hurry, a man with a mission. Now that he had her bare bottom in sight and squarely in his sights, he wanted it sore and stinging - both, a lot, and right now!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Couldn't DH hear her at all? Nothing seemed to slow him down! Just as she thought her poor little bottom would burst into flames, her husband's grip tightened! Her stomach followed suit as Robin recognized the meaning of this gesture!
''Oh no! No! No! OW! OH!'' His spanks rained down so much harder without slowing down at all. Her kicking and struggles became furious, but the harder she fought, the harder he spanked!
Spank! Spank!
SPANK! SPANK!
Spank! Spank!
SPANK! SPANK!
''OW OH OH OH OW OH OH!'' she cried. When, oh when, would this be over? And then, with frightening abruptness, it was!
''Now, naughty girl, it's time we took care of this buying books,'' DH pronounced.
Oh no! The bathbrush - whack whack whack whack whack whack whack! By the time she realized what was about to happen her bathbrush spanking was already well underway! Instantly the warmth of his hand was replaced by the sting of the bathbrush's wood. Oooo, did that hurt! Robin could never remember quite how much until she was feeling it - but as soon as she felt it she could remember - remember all too well!
whack whack whack whack whack whack whack!
''No, no - stop! Enough! I'll be good! I promise! Oh owwwwww...''
''Robin Michelle! Your buying books? This is most certainly NOT enough, except that it's enough out of you. Now hold still. You know you've earned this - and more. If you're good you'll get a lot less of the ''more.''''
whack whack whack whack whack whack whack!
Try as he might to be ''fair,'' when it came to buying books her husband was strict. That bathbrush HURT!
whack whack whack whack whack whack whack!
''No, no, not more - please, not more. Ow oh ow oh ow...''
whack whack whack whack whack whack whack!
''No - no please! I'll be good! I've learned my lesson - I have!'' As well she may have - her usually pale cheeks shone from the bathbrush's harsh wood.
''Then hold still, , so I can finish.'' And finish he did. With a flurry of whack-whack-whack's he made sure she'd have no place to sit, not for a good long time. Then the hardest yet, right in the center - whack whack whack whack whack whack! Even as Robin recognized these as his final spanks she could take no relief as the barrage drove her past all limits of ''taking it.''
''Whaaa - aaa - ow - oooo - ooo - ooo - ooo - NO!''
''Okay, Robin. Okay, . Breathe. Now breathe...'' DH encouraged. As slowly as it had begun it just as suddenly ended. Slowly Robin calmed down and her breathing did steady a bit.
''Now, young lady - no more buying books - understood?'' Somehow Robin nodded her acquiescence. And as she returned the bathbrush to bedside table, she never wanted to have anything to do with buying books, the bathbrush, or even her husband sitting on the bed - ever, ever again!
--
Matt Anglen - 2004
--

Sex Talk with the Kids

Before I get to the main, here's an update:

Work is still horrible. Still no end in sight (there's a big box of paperwork and my work computer sitting in the kitchen to prove this). I like the manager where I work, I think he's basically a good guy, but he's pretty clearly in over his head -- and the VP has gotten wise. Not sure what the future will bring...

DH and I are getting along, fitting sex in here and there, connecting. Trying to get him to read Tantric Secrets for Men (I had to read it first). Have to get a book cover so he can read it in public (while travelling) without embarrassment -- his request.

Spending a quiet, lazy day home. It's been raining constantly the last 2 days with more to come. We're nowhere near the Gulf Coast but Ike is definitely affecting our weather. What a mess down there. I hope any readers from there are safe and sound and their homes are okay. My sister-in-law and her family live in Houston -- they evacuated.

****************************************************************************

So, to my main topic ---

I have 2 teens, a girl and a boy. And sex-related discussions do occur -- I think I'd be worried if they didn't. General discussions started when my daughter was in 5th grade and had her first sex ed class. The school arranges for the students to attend a special class at the local college health center. They had a meeting for the parents first so we'd know what our children would learn. One thing I really like about the program is that for the basics the boys and girls are together -- learning what both genders experience in puberty. I know some parents were shocked but I think it's great -- removes some of the mystery and ignorance.

We've talked not about how to have sex, but about emotions and consequences and safety. I've told them more than once that I made it through high school without drinking, smoking, drugs or sex and still had a great time, probably a better time than some of the kids I knew who did those things. I never had to worry that someone was going to catch me, that I'd get pregnant, drive drunk, or any of the other things that I saw happen to several students.

I've talked specifically to my daughter about waiting for a man who wants to have sex with her because she's special and he wants to make her feel good, not just take his pleasure. My first time was good, precisely because my boyfriend didn't force anything, helping me relax and pleasuring me until I was ready -- and I enjoyed it. I've heard enough horror stories about miserable first times that I'd rather my daughter didn't have to experience that.

My son gets talks about being responsible and not using a girl just for sex (unless of course, that's what she wants). About condoms and birth control and never to assume a girl is on birth control or disease free just because she says she is.

So what brings this on? A couple discussion with my kids this past week. Last weekend we went to a bookstore (OC needed books for school). Bookophile/readaholic that I am, a bookstore is a dangerous place but I was determined to buy only one book (Tantric Secrets...). So I separate from the kids and head to the Love and Sexuality section, where of course they had several books cover facing out with suggestive pictures. This is where MC found me and started exclaiming that I was in the "dirty book" section. I'm sure I rolled my eyes, looked at him and stated that there is nothing dirty about love and relationships. He just kept repeating "dirty books." Jeeeesh.

We head home. I'm working on my computer, having difficulty figuring something out, when MC enters my room on his way to the laundry room. He offered to help, but since spanking blogs were up, I told him no. His response -- "Why? Is it something inappropriate?" If you could just hear how he says this... Then he notices the tantric secrets book on the bed and starts in on the "dirty book" thing again. Try to tell him again that there is nothing dirty about sex. He stops, then brings up an incident from his sex ed class last year when a fellow student asked the teacher why men like porn but women don't. I stood there for a minute, trying desperately to think how I was going to answer this... Then finally said, seriously, that many women like porn, too, although not necessarily the same type that men like, that we often like something a little more erotic. He got this look on his face and turned to leave the room, shaking his head as he walked out.

I shared all this with DH later on a trip to the store and he got all weirded out that our son would come to me to talk about sex instead of to him. I didn't know what to say. Finally I said that I didn't start this, MC did, and if he's comfortable enough to come and talk to me, I'm not going to turn him away. Sigh.... DH can be a little uptight...

Later, OC came into my room and I related the MC porn question to her. Her response? Well, of course women don't like porn. We're not as sexual and we're not turned on visually. I stared at her, dumbfounded, thinking, "where have I gone wrong?" Then I looked at her and stated seriously that she was wrong, that that is what society and religions have conditioned women to believe but that is not the truth. Now it was her turn to look dumbfounded. I don't think anything else was said, and she left the room.

Talking to MC later about his dads reaction, he stated that he was more comfortable coming to me because I actually answer him (apparently DH just repeats how he needs to be careful and use condoms) and because he finds it helpful and interesting to get a woman's opinion. He's realized that what guys think girls want is not necessarily correct. Smart boy :D

So that pretty much covers the highlights of last week....

So, doing nothing much today. DH gets home late tonight, so he's not here to get me up and doing things. House cleaners were here yesterday, so there are no household chores except laundry. Working on bills and miscellaneous paperwork. Do have to go out an run a few errands -- stop by the bank, get OC some books for school.

Saw Google now has a reader -- spent some time last night adding feeds to that. Saw there is another feed reader in the Blogger dashboard -- imported the feeds from the Google reader to that as well. Unfortunately, not all the blog feeds I've previously subscribed to were picked up -- not sure why -- I'll have to keep trying :)

Killing time, I typed spanking into the Yahoo! search bar. Haven't done this in a while and this seemed like a perfect opportunity.

Wikipedia has some interesting entries, chiefly:

• Erotic Spanking
• Spanking Art Wiki

Going to each one of these leads to even more. I spent an enjoyable time just jumping from site to site, reading, reviewing, checking out even more links.

Sadly, this is the closest I've been getting lately to anything spanking related.

As mentioned before, DH and I are out of sync. We've exchanged a few emails, trying to sort it out -- we tend to communicate better when there's a little bit of space and time.

Basically, he thinks I don't find him satisfying and am pulling away, that I want more than he is willing or capable of giving. So not true. I think it's pretty clear from what I've written here that I find DH eminently satisfying, in and out of bed. Sure, sometimes I wish we would try some new or different things, mix things up a bit -- and not always at my direction. Sometimes we have disagreements, but we try to work them out civilly instead of meanly. I'm not forgetting what happened back in February, but there hasn't been an similar incident since and DH does seem to be working on his anger issues.

I fully admit there's been some withdrawing, but it's only because I'm so exhausted and stressed from work. I'm still working 9-10 hour days + several hours on the weekend and I still can't seem to get caught up -- in fact, things just seem to get worst. Ever get so stressed and worn out that you know you are on the edge, that it wouldn't take much to push you right over? Well, that's where I've been for the last couple of months. Only DH doesn't like to hear about it or see any sort of emotional outburst. So I hold it all in, but it's simmering just below the surface. And the only way to keep it from erupting is to hold myself back, keep myself a little separate. Sometimes I'm so fragile that I know that the slightest bit of TLC from him will open the floodgates. So I pull away. But I don't push him away when he approaches me -- at least I don't think I do...

Anyway, he gets home tonight. Guess we'll see how things stand then...

Cucumber

DH is off again. Mexico again.

YC went to a friend's house to play yesterday and came home with a cucumber.

Can you guess DH's reaction?

Uh huh, yep, you got it. He brought it upstairs and told me that while he was gone, I could use the cucumber, to, you know...

I told him that if I used that, I wouldn't want him -- it's about 12 inches long and about as big around as a soda can.

His response -- I could only use half of it, the rest was handle.

*shaking head*

Happy Labor Day

From the lack of activity on this blog, you're probably wondering if I'm even still around...

I am alive, if not exactly well. Not ill, just worn out from work (still hell on earth) and all that exhaustion and stress means not much is happening between DH and me. At least nothing fun and exciting or that's noteworthy. Haven't even been getting online to read other blogs -- a) too exhausted, b) it's too depressing to read about others who are doing well and having fun.

Take this weekend -- 3 days off from work for me and DH (although I did bring a box of home, planning to spend some time on catch up) and 3 days off school for the kids (school started on the 25th). Saturday: got up, did chores, napped while DH and the two older children went to a major league baseball game ("our" team lost), got up, showered, had YC shower, took YC out in DH's convertible to return library books and get a treat from Dairy Queen. DH came home from the game, we had dinner, cuddled a bit while watching TV --- and he fell asleep. No fun Saturday.

Sunday -- did manage to get in a quickie :D Enjoyed it, even without any spanking to speak of. Well, there was a little spanking -- afterwards. DH got it into his head that I hadn't been completely truthful about something. I thought something was done, apparently it wasn't completely, he noticed, pulled out the paddle and lit into me -- hard. Of course, we're both laughing the whole time -- he's spanking, I'm wiggling, giggling and exclaiming "Ow! Ouch! That hurts!" 'til I couldn't take anymore and rolled away. He stopped. I rolled back (so I could get up) and he started in again, saying, "That's not enough, not yet." A few more hard, painful spanks and I moved completely out of his way and got up. Sheeesh. It's been so long that my butt was incredibly sensitive -- lost any toughening up it might have developed.

Spent the rest of the day on chores -- laundry, housecleaning, shopping. Of course, while I did the last, DH napped. We did go out, saw "Tropic Thunder." Not sure how I feel about the movie. It had some very funny parts, but I felt the profanity became excessive at times. I'm not a prude, I swear (lately a lot, what with the way work is), but still.... It's like some of the characters only knew one work -- fuck. And every other word was that, or some version of it. After the movie, we grabbed a bite to eat, had a couple of drinks, then headed home. Because DH napped, he was full of energy, but I'd been up since before 9 am, doing chores and all, and now it was after 1 am... Guess what, I was too tired for anything (see what I mean about being out of sync?), so we cuddled and went to sleep.

Now it's Monday -- before I even woke up, YC was in our bed, snuggling with DH. And she didn't want to leave.... So, once again, nothin' happening here. I got up, got dressed and headed downstairs to work on brunch and finish the laundry. Now it's the afternoon. I should be tackling the box of work I brought home, should be vacuuming, cleaning, etc., but I'd really just like to take a nap. But if I sleep now, I'll have difficulties tonight and it's back to hell, uhhh, work tomorrow morning. There was mention of showering and some fun before bed tonight. Yeah, ok, right, given the way things have been going, I'm not holding my breath.

I hope everyone else has had a good weekend, holiday or not.

A little clean up...

While on hold with the IRS for 50+ minutes plus another 15 or so with a rep, I pulled up this blog and started working through my "blogs I like" list.

Pretty quickly became clear that some some links needed removed, some updated and some added. I was very sad to see that Annie's Blog (spankinggoodblog.blogspot) was completely gone, as was Everything Goes (everythinggose.blogspot). I hope Annie and Robert and Griz and Good Girl are all ok -- I knew they hadn't posted in a while, but still...

I also deleted a few others where there has been no posting for at least the last few months -- I still have them on my feeds list so if they come back, I'll relist them.

I added a few that I've been trying to keep up with:

• Hermione's Heart
• LA Kink
• Just My Random Perverted Thoughts
• A Taste of the Birch
• Domestic Discipline Dreams
• Love Boudoir

I'll slowly keep adding as I get the time (I've got several more on my feeds list). They run the gamut from vanilla to hardcore kink, fantasy to reality, fun to discipline... As eclectic as I am :)

If you ever notice that a link's no longer working, please let me know.

If anyone has any recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

Is it Friday yet?

I ask because I haven't had a day off work since Sunday 27 July. And they've almost all been extra long days. I'm exhausted. But it looks like we may be past the major, work-halting problems, so after tomorrow I hopefully will no longer have to arrive early and stay late. VP has been at our facility all week and has more than once expressed his gratitude for all my hard work. He's granted me a couple extra days off -- and I'm hopeful all my hard work will have a positive effect on my review and raise next year.

Anyway, what with all the crazy work hours, there has been absolutely nothing 'fun' going on here -- not since the 28th (I started to write it down and hope to someday finish and post -- it was pretty darn close to perfect). We've gone from 3 to 4 times a week to once every ten days or so.... Ugh. If DH made a move, I wouldn't resist, but I don't know how actively involved I'd be. It's 8:3o and it's all I can do to keep my eyes open now...

Don't know if you've noticed but I've signed onto Twitter and have added it to the right hand column. I may not have time and energy to get a full post on here regularly, but it's easy to find a few moments here and there to "twitter."

Am now waiting for DH to get home with cooking oil so OC can make the brownies we're all craving -- may not be able to stay awake :/ Oh well.

Tonight, Tonight...

I'm writing this while I finish up with dinner (I know you're not supposed to work on other things while eating, but my time is such a premium right now, I have to multi-task).

Anyway, next up is a shower and maybe some work (I did bring my work computer home). But a shower is a must.

Why, you ask. Because DH is heading to Mexico tomorrow and won't be back to Friday, just in time for me to have to work all weekend on the big work project. He called me at work, asking if my period was over because he's leaving and wants to make sure there's spanking and sex before he leaves -- you know, to tide us over. He also suggested that to help me get in the mood, I turn my cell phone to vibrate then put it in my panties so every time he'd call I'd get a treat. Yeah, right -- cell phone's a little too bulky for that :)

So, this is just a quick post. Hopefully I will have something more exciting to write about later -- you know, when I have more time.

padme

Don't know if you read Journey to the Darkside by padme and Master Anakin, but they can use all the loving, supportive, and understanding thoughts you can send their way.

Padme had shared recently that she was pregnant. Sadly, today she suffered a miscarriage. Both are in a lot of pain and will be taking a break from blogging until they are up to it again.

I had recently joined Twitter, after seeing it on their blog, and had been 'following' padme. With all the work-related craziness, it was the closest I was getting to reading any blogs, let along posting to mine. So when I saw today that she was feeling bad enough to head to the emergency room, I worried... First thing I did when I got a chance to log on tonight was to check their blog for any updates... my heartaches for them. I can't imagine what they are going through...

I had other, light hearted things to post today, but this is more important.

A Spanking... Finally

I got a spanking! *happy singsong* And incredible scream-inducing sex...

Desperately in need of a good spanking, and waiting fruitlessly for DH to just take control, I decided I needed to plant the idea...

So, Tuesday while at work I sent DH a little email message, with 'Is it a date?' as the subject:

I've heard that a good sound spanking followed by some wild monkey sex can do wonders for relieving stress... *wink*

What do you say? Maybe some night this week? I've got a huge load of stress that needs relieving... *big grin*

DH: Any time just let me know you know the trick.

Me: So... If I come home, shower and set out some toys, you'll get the message?

And I mean a 'real' spanking, where I'm not doing anything else (you know what I mean *raised eyebrows*) but getting a hot red butt... You know I'll pleasure you anyway you want after...

Last night I came home and about 9 I hopped into the shower. It's been horribly hot and humid lately and I've been spending a lot of time out on the warehouse floor -- which is not air conditioned. Nasty, sweaty, humid, hot. Yeccchhh.

Anyway, while showering, DH came in and asked if this was the night. I kinda pushed it back at him, seeing as how he's the one expending the most energy... We decided it was the night. I finished showering and while DH showered I got ready -- black see-through nightie, black lace panties, and black stilettos (every time I wear them it gets easier to walk). I got out the new black leather paddle, the crop and the red rubber flogger; the massage oil and the flavored edible oil. By the time he came out, I was reclining on the bed -- trying to look enticing.

Must have worked *big grin*

DH got on the bed and pulled me close for snuggling, caressing and kissing. I was curled up with my head on his shoulder and he could just barely reach my bottom, but still he managed to get some good spanks in. We talked a little about what I wanted the spanking to be like -- I know I've mentioned before how heavy-handed DH can be, and that was not what I wanted for stress relief. He tried to pull his 'I'm in charge here' stuff with me, but I managed to get him to listen.

After awhile, I turned around so my head was down by his knees, putting my backside more in reach. I wanted to keep all of this relaxed and comfortable. I used sounds and words to let DH know the spanks that felt just right and those which were too much. Also made suggestions about his technique -- to us medium strength, quicker spanks instead of the hard, spaced apart ones he usually does. Most of this was with his hands -- my favorite implement :D I didn't completely ignore him, either.

Eventually, DH decided he wanted me standing, bent over the edge of the bed. I slid off my side, then minced around to the other side, hips swaying (gotta love how stilettos force you to walk sexy). Now he started to use the paddle and the crop more, eventually sliding my panties off. He only used the flogger a little bit, basically to caress my body, not flog it. Felt lovely. I had no concept of passing time... I could feel my bottom heating up and getting tender. DH would stop to rub and squeeze with his hands, causing other areas to heat up too. He also slid off his pajama bottoms so he could rub himself against my heated bottom, oiling me, too.

Then he had me get back on the bed, lying on my back. After rubbing me with KY Intrigue (and I coated him), he went down on me... working me with lips and tongue, fingers thrusting inside. So lost in how good it felt... Squeezing and stroking him... He stroked my g-spot, over and over, while licking my clit, until I came, squirting, feeling my juices on his hand and arm, on my thighs as he continued to stroke me. He slowed, then sat up and turned to me -- his face was so wet.

But he wasn't done with me yet. He tucked his left arm under my shoulders, bringing his hand to my breast. And with his right hand, he continued to rub my clit, until I came again, moaning.

Finally, the tremors eased, my breathing slowed, and he had me bending over the bed again -- the red and the heat had faded. Some more spanking, then I was on my knees in front of him, using the edible oil, licking and sucking, trying to give him pleasure like he'd given me...

Up on the bed, all fours, pillow clutched in my arms, ready for smothering my cries. He slid in -- I was so wet there was no resistance... I came again, more than once... he spanked me still, with his hands, as he thrust... Then I felt the oil, pouring out of the bottle to coat my bottom again, slipping down the crack, his hands rubbing it onto my cheeks and into my crack and opening, pausing to coat his cock... The stretching as he entered, slowly, taking his time so I would feel more pleasure than pain (he's good at reading me), until he could feel me relax... thrusting, bringing me to screaming orgasm (I almost forgot to use the pillow to muffle my cries)... and again... until he came, thrusting as deep into me as possible... I collapsed on the bed...

Once I returned to awareness, I looked at the clock. We were deeply involved with one another for over an hour. Wow.

Then I got up, slipped off the stilettos, slipped on the moisturizing socks, and slipped of the lingerie and climbed in the bed.

And had the best sleep I'd had in days!! Without pain relievers or sleeping aids. Woke up this morning, sat up, and felt a lovely reminder of last night's fun. Checking in the mirror, no marks -- but sometimes they take a few days to show up (sometimes I forget and then I catch a glimpse and it's like 'OMG, where the hell did that come from?!'). And I have felt relaxed and energized and wonderful all day. Even while out in the over 80 degree warehouse for multiple hours...

Wonder how long this will last...

Dreams

Somewhat logically following on my post about desperately needing a spanking...

Last night I dreamt of being spanked by DH. It was not a clear dream, but I "remember" getting into position (all 4s) on the bed and hearing him slide his belt out his pants and wondering if that was really what he was going to use...

And then I woke up. It stormed at 5am here and the noise of it pushed me out of sleep. Darn it.

Not the first time I've had a spanking dream, just the second -- that I remember.

First time was about a month ago, the last time DH was on a business trip. That dream falls into the category of lucid dreaming. It was crystal clear, everything exactly as in real life. I was in my robe, so desperate for a spanking that I was going to self-spank. I was digging through DH's bedside table, looking for an implement, when MC came into my room. I hurriedly shut the drawer and hid the bath brush behind my back (ironic that I would choose the bath brush in my dream when I really dislike it -- but it does have a long handle, ideal for self-spanking). While backing into the bath room, I tried to get MC to leave so I could get to it... And it stops there.

I think it's like when you're really craving a certain food and there's none around... it becomes the one thing you absolutely can't stop thinking about, and the needing and the wanting becomes all consuming...

Well, I've got to get going and pick up DH from the airport. Will we have any fun tonight? No idea...

I Need....

A Spanking!!!!

Seriously. I've been so out of it this week and have not at all been a 'good' girl. Too bad DH's not more willing to try a little spanking discipline...

He's gone this week and not checking up on me so I haven't been exercising, haven't been making wise food choices, and have been staying up waaaaaaay too late.

I've got a good list of excuses... Wanna hear?

• DH isn't here to keep me company, so I get lost in the TV, computer, or reading
• Work is too, too stressful right now and how do I react to stress -- overeating, turning couch potato, and undersleeping
• OC is off on her French adventure, so she's not here to help out with things -- so more for me to do after an extra-long stressful day of work
• Money is tight
• Nothing is working as a motivator right now
• Work, work, work -- VP keeps giving me more and more to do with the system change, yet I still have all my regular responsibilities...
• I'm not a morning person so getting up early enough to exercise before work doesn't work for me, but then I'm tired after work, plus there's chores to do, kids to feed...

Oh, alright, so they're pretty lame excuses.

DH just doesn't get it. When I dropped him off at the airport Monday, he told me I should pick up a salad on the way to work to eat for lunch. So what did I do -- bought and ate a salad for lunch. He gave me a specific instruction and I followed it.

Tried to suggest that he could find ways to reward me for exercising and dieting... Him: "Why is everything about sex with you?" aaaaaagggggghhhhh! Yes, sexual rewards would be nice, and serious discipline spankings could help, but not everything has to be sexual. Sheeeeesh. You'd think that's all I think about (ok, it's often on my mind, but really...). Doesn't help that he's a classic 'saboteur' when it comes to me trying to improve my health.

What we need is some time alone, when we're not worn out and stressed by work, etc. to really talk - well, me to talk and try to explain what I need so he'll understand and be able to provide. Should it ever happen, I'll let you know.

One more day of work this week and then it's the weekend. I am not bringing work home, I am not bringing work home (maybe if I repeat this enough...)

I'll try to get some posts up next week, but the last 2 weeks of this month and the first 2 of August are going to be crazy at work as we finally go through the system change. I'll be on the computer non-stop at work, so probably will be too burnt out by the time I get home to even read blogs, let alone add to mine. Please send good thoughts to help me survive.

So...

DH is off to Mexico this week, the guests are on their way back to France, and OC is on her way to France with them. Yep, I'm sending my baby off to France for 2 weeks. I'm praying for her safety and am sure she'll have a good time. The family she's staying with lives northwest of Paris, but they'll be spending about a week in the south of France (on the Med) with maybe a day in Spain. They've got lots of fun activities planned for her.

It's just the 3 of us 'til Saturday -- me, MC, and YC. Big, empty house. Big, empty bed. *sigh*

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I was exhausted, but since it was a holiday weekend, with company, no lazing about allowed. Off to the festival we all went. DH, YC and I defended our space while the older kids scattered. We ate, sat in the sun, listened to music (can't tell you who 'cuz if you search them you'd find out where I live *grin*). The crowd swelled to over 40,000. It was packed. The weather was perfect -- warm with a slight breeze, not a cloud in the sky.

And, finally, fireworks. I love fireworks! They did a pretty good job with the accompanying music (except for some screaming thing by AC/DC). Even included the theme from Indiana Jones -- the crowd liked that. At one point there was a pause. People thought the show was over. This voice booms out, "Over? Did you say 'over'? It's not over 'til I say it's over!" And then the finale. Loved the comment -- it got a great laugh.

Fireworks on the 4th of July always make me think of John Adams. He'd written a letter to his wife on July 3rd 1776, the day after the Continental Congress resolved on 2 July 1776 "That these United Colonies are, and of right, ought to be, Free and Independent States." (Explains why he states July 2nd should be celebrated instead of the 4th, which is when the final version of the Declaration was approved and signed). Here's part of the letter (the important part *grin*):

...The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America.— I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.

You will think me transported with Enthusiasm but I am not.—I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States.—Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will tryumph in that Days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not.

And celebrate we do with all of the above -- with great enthusiasm.

DH and I are maybe back on track... 3 times in less than 48 hours (you know what I mean *wink*). Not bad for us old folks *grin*. Of course, none of those 3 times included much in the way of spanking (although I got to enjoy some very nice oral last night *big grin*). Gotta get DH out of his rut of only spanking me while I'm pleasuring him orally -- neither of us can really focus on the spanking in that position...

I did get a bit of a spanking after my shower last night. I'm so very fair that I don't dare go out in the sun without a heavy coating of the highest SPF I can find. But I really don't want to be so pale I glow in the dark so I've been trying a sunless tanning lotion. Only problem is I can't reach my upper and middle back -- at least not well enough to evenly spread lotion. So I asked DH to help me out *rolling eyes*. Uh huh. Helped he did -- helped himself to my butt! I was still damp from the shower and the lotion I'd already applied, plus I'd already given him the lotion he was supposed to apply to my BACK, so it was a stingy hand spanking. SPANK, rub, SPANK, rub... This repeated 'til my backside was a nice bright pink all over (and the lotion well rubbed in). He had me kicking up my feet and squealing *grin*. When he was satisfied with the spanking, he finally applied the lotion to my back.

Happy 4th!!

Hope all my American spanko friends have a fantastic 4th of July -- with plenty of Stars and Stripes (seeing and receiving, respectively).

My Tattoo

Well, I still don't have any really good pictures. DH finally agreed to take a picture, but only with his iPhone...

So here are the best I have, plus the design I drew that it was based on.

This was not a spur of the moment decision -- nor a mid-life crisis one (I prefer to think of it as an acceptance and awakening of who I am). I'd thought about getting a tattoo many years ago (college) but never did (multiple reasons) and off and on over the years, but once married and with kids I wasn't sure what DH would think. Then, surprise, he brought it up. He'd always wanted a tattoo but had never gotten one (in his case, it goes along with the sportscar and motorcycle -- mid-life crisis, oh yeah). So, he just went off one day and came home with an eagle head on his right arm at the shoulder. I started looking for a design I liked, and found a lot -- it can be hard to choose just one.

Finally decided a buttefly would be best -- feminine, delicate but strong, representative of change, beauty... Looked at hundreds of designs until I found one somewhat like what I wanted -- a side view, facing right, not too life-like. Only it still wasn't exactly right, so I hand drew my own design taking the picture I'd found as a guide. I rounded out some angles, added some more curves, changed the colors (green, blue, pink -- if you can't tell from the pics). I tried about 4 different color combinations before I found the one I used. I even visited different tattoo parlors to check things out. Not spur of the moment at all.

DH went to the artist who'd done his and made an appointment for the following Saturday -- the day before our 15th anniversary. He got another tattoo, on his left arm at the shoulder -- the Chinese character for eagle. He went first, while I sat and tried to relax, reading.

Then it was my turn. I really didn't know what to expect. Some pain, obviously, but beyond that, not a clue. I pulled the back of my t-shirt over my head, keeping my front covered and pulled down the bra strap. The artist and I discussed colors and placement -- asking DH's opinion in the process (not a lot of help).

And she began.

At first, I felt quite a bit of pain, but it quickly changed to just a slight pressure with burning in the spot she was working on. And my whole body felt warm. Wasn't expecting that. I didn't find it difficult at all to hold still or to stay in position. I think it took about half an hour to be completed -- I wasn't really aware of time and didn't keep track of it. I was bandaged and off we went.

I had no problems during healing at all -- no bleeding, no scabbing, no itching, very little pain and only when accidently scrubbed in the shower.

I think it turned out great and I still like catching glimpses of it in the mirror when I'm dressing and undressing. DH is not used to it -- he told me he feels like he's having sex with some other woman when he looks at my back and sees it there (thinking this may play into the recent dry spell...).