Hey All

Just a quick note ---
Hoping everyone had a wonderful holiday, whether it was Eid, Christmas or Kwanzaa. We had a nice quiet Christmas, just the 5 of us. And I got lots of spankings (and hot sex *great big happy satisfied grin* )-- Saturday the 15th, Saturday/Sunday the 22/23, Monday the 24th, and Tuesday the 25th. And I didn't have to ask for a single one; all were DH's idea (he's coming along nicely :D ). I'll get some details posted later, I promise (I jot notes down in MS Office One Note so I have good reminders of the details).

Now, a serious subject -- Benazir Bhutto and Pakistan.
I know I try to keep some of the details of us private, but this hits close to home for us because DH is originally from Pakistan. His parents, one sister, and both brothers all live there (one sister is here in the States). When he got up and saw the news this morning the first thing he did was call home. All but one brother live in Karachi, and the brother who lives in Lahore was in Karachi (he and his family had come to celebrate Eid with the family). Neither brother was home when the assasination and ensuing chaos happened. Brother1 was able to make his way through the insanity without harm to their parents home; brother2 was at his office, attempted to get home, but gave up and decided to stay at the office til things calmed down. It's a serious situation; everyone is shocked and no one seems to have any good ideas of what should happen next. It's just so hard to understand the willingness to kill someone just because you don't agree with their opinions, etc. Just horrible, no matter who is killed or who does the killing.
Please keep Pakistan in your thoughts and prayers -- if it falls to the fundamentalists, we're all in serious trouble.

Ok, off the soapbox.

If I don't make it here before the 1st -- I wish you all a New Year that is Happy, Prosperous, and Very Very Spanky!

Merry Christmas

Odds and Ends (just not my 'end', darn it)

I've mentioned before that there is no switching in my relationship with DH. He has no desire to be spanked and would never allow it -- he's the spanker and I'm the spankee. However, that doesn't mean we can't joke about spanking him. The other weekend, DH managed to irritate YC (unfortunately, that is very easy to do). This particular time he insisted on brushing her hair, something she is very insistent on doing herself. When daddy persisted, she sulked, wouldn't speak to him, answer his questions, or even look at him. In an act of desperation, as we were walking into a restaurant, I asked her, "Should I spank daddy?" Big smile and head nod. Of course, DH heard the question and saw her response. We shared a smile, knowing that THAT was never going to happen.

Later that same weekend we were doing a little shopping. While waiting in the check out line, I noticed a bamboo cutting board, about 12" long x 8" wide x 3/4" thick. I picked it up thinking that it would probably pack quite a wallop. As I was setting it down, I noticed DH watching me. He smiled and picked it up, testing it's heft, and then commented, "You know, I do need a new cutting board. Mine just isn't so good anymore. From the expressions & grins on our faces, we were obviously thinking the same thing -- potential implement. Didn't get it :( He backed down, but expressed later that he wished he'd gotten it. Oh well, maybe next time.

I find myself as I go through certain stores, looking at the merchandise and wondering... Hmm, that chair would go nicely in our bedroom -- I wonder how it would work for positioning... What a nice basket/case/chest -- be great for storing all our toys in ... Wonder what that belt/board/spoon/etc would feel like... Holy mack, I don't even want to know how that would feel!...

While grocery shopping this weekend, DH told me to stay put while he went to go get something. I responded, in all seriousness, "Yes, Dear." As he was walking away (already several yards away) he turned back to say, quite loudly, "No, not "yes, dear": "Yes, Master." I grinned and giggled -- how else to respond to a comment like that in a crowded grocery store?

And,yes, we had a lovely evening of sex, spankings, sex, and more sex (DH making up for being out town) -- but that's a post for another time :D

P.S. Just need to revisit my DH directed self-spanking of the other night. I have such a feeling of surreality about the whole thing -- such that while out with DH on Saturday, I actually had to ask him if it really happened. I think the situation is that since this blog is my only outlet for "talking" about spankings and spanking related subjects, sometimes there seems to be a disconnect with reality. If I could go into work or call up family or friends and say, "You won't believe what DH had me do last night..." and get the reactions and responses and discussion that would naturally follow, it would help seat the incident more firmly in my mind as something that truly did happen. It just has such a dream-like quality to the memory...

A First

The Dreaded Bath Brush

[I borrowed this picture from Grace's blog a day in the life. I have the exact same bath brush but no way to get a picture onto the computer. Thank you, Grace.]

Had some interesting conversations with DH today, one taking place at work. Considering the topic was BDSM/spanking and whether or not we should visit a couple of clubs in the area, the conversation while at work was difficult -- I sit in a cubicle in the back corner with one immediate neighbor (we share a 'wall') and one across a narrow walkway. It was not easy to have this sort of discussion while trying to keep my voice down and choose my words carefully. But DH was insistent we needed to talk then. I'm sure my neighbors must have heard some of my side of the conversation -- I could hardly look at them later out of embarrassment.

The second conversation took place this evening -- more of the above. He's worried that visiting one of these clubs might be too tempting for him and he might be inclined to stray. I keep telling him we go in as a couple, we leave as a couple, and if at any point either of us is uncomfortable we leave and we never have to go again. I think he's confusing swinging with what these clubs offer (obviously swinging may go on among members who meet through the clubs, but it's not the reason for these clubs). Then we talked about polyamory and what that means, then would I ever go to one of these clubs without him (i.e. without his knowledge/'permission', sneaking around), would I go by myself with his ok and let someone else spank me, then what if he went by himself without telling me (sneaking around/cheating). Good grief. Then, he said we could try swinging but only if we were separated. AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! This after my telling him I-don't-know-how-many-times that I am not looking for anyone else, that is not why I broached the subject of the clubs, not what I am after at all. Somewhere it has gotten twisted into his mind that clubs = orgy and he's having difficulty seeing that that doesn't appear to be the case here (mind, we've never been to either place, nor do we know anyone who has, but based on the information on their websites, this is so not the case). I'm just curious and feel this may be a way to learn from those more experienced. I can learn a lot from reading, but I'm very much a visual person and can learn a lot more through observation.

Part of this conversation was also clarifying for him what being a submissive personality means to me in terms of our relationship. Based on some of the things he said earlier, I wasn't sure he really understood about D/s. Intellectually I think he does, but emotionally perhaps not so well. And perhaps not quite so well how important it is for me to have him be dominant. He asked me how I would feel if I liked the clubs but he didn't so we never went again after a first visit -- would I be unhappy enough to leave him. My answer: Of course not. I don't need the clubs or the company of other like-minded people to be/feel submissive to him. That is between us and only us. I would, however, not be happy if there were no spankings or ways for him to be dominant and me to be submissive in our relationship. He also worries that he might ask/tell me to do something that I am extremely uncomfortable with and that I will do it just to please him. I tried to reassure him that if it were something that I felt was totally wrong I would tell him so and not do it. But, honestly, we've been together so long and know each other so well (most of the time) that I don't think he could come up with something I'd refuse. It might push my limits, make me physically, emotionally or mentally uncomfortable, but I'd expect that. [And here's where I make a little confession -- we don't have a safeword. So far he's never done anything to make me even begin to feel like I might need to use one; in fact, he usually stops long before I'd like him to. Since our spankings are erotic in nature, so far, I haven't felt like it was really warranted.]

So, finally, on to the "first" mentioned in the title (I know, I know, I get started and it all comes rambling out...)

The end of our second conversation ended with DH telling me to get out the dreaded bath brush (hence the picture at the top of this post) and spank myself with it, next to the phone, hard and loud so he could clearly hear it. Now, I have tried self-spanking, at my own instigation, and found it neither arousing nor punishing; but it is a good way to check out a new implement. But I've never had DH insist that I do something like this (and he did insist, with me questioning several times whether he was serious -- he'd never made a request like this before and I seriously thought he was kidding). I had to get out of bed, remove my robe (I wasn't sleeping in it but doing computer stuff before actually going to bed for the night), and go around to his side of the bed (all his 'toys' are in his bedside table). Once I got there, I picked the phone back up to get specifics: which implement (bath brush); panties on or off (on); how many (3 each side). I laid the receiver back down, facing me, got the bath brush out, bent over and gave myself 3 spanks to each side. But DH said not loud enough (darn panties), so I needed to do it again, louder and harder. Figuring it was the panties that muffled the sound, I pulled them down to mid thigh, bent over and did the 3 to each side again, harder, and thereby, louder than the first 6. This time DH told me he heard them, to put the brush away and to go to bed.

So here I am back in bed (sans robe, this time), with a somewhat sore backside (that brush is something else, even when wielded by me), sharing this experience, needing to get this all down while it's still fresh. DH really surprised me with this instruction -- he's never done anything like it before, and I've never mentioned anything about Dom-instructed self-spankings (although I've read about them). He had asked before if I'd ever spanked myself and I answered honestly that I had, more to try out the implement than anything else. Embarrassed as I was to spank myself at DH's command and in his hearing, it was also thrilling to have him go all Dom on me and give me a chance to be submissive -- just wish it had been in person so we could have the 'happy ending' after. And this came after he had just expressed some concerns (from earlier in this post: He also worries that he might ask/tell me to something that I am extremely uncomfortable with and that I will do it just to please him. I tried to reassure him that if it were something that I felt was totally wrong I would tell him and not do it. But, honestly, we've been together so long and know each other so well (most of the time) that I don't think he could come up with something I'd refuse. It might push my limits, make me physically, emotionally or mentally uncomfortable, but I'd expect that.) So I've definitely had some limits pushed tonight, in a totally good way. Don't know what, if anything, this means for our future, but it seems to me it's a good sign. Maybe moving beyond solely erotic spankings...?

As a final note: I know the bath brush is available in multiple stores, and is reasonably priced, but spankees, you might want to re-think a decision to buy. This puppy really stings!!! And I'm not the only one to express this painful opinion. Of course, irony of ironies, I was the one who bought this, looking at it as a pervertable from the get go... If I'd only known then what I know now :\

Holiday Stresses

I've seen a few fellow bloggers (Journey to the Darkside, Spanky Loves Kallisto, Tales From The Top, to name a few) lamenting the stresses of the holiday season, and thought I'd add my two cents.

We used to get really stressed by the holidays, but over the last few years things have changed.

DH's family doesn't observe Christmas, so our traditions have their basis in what I grew up with, then tweaked to fit us. This also meant that the brunt of holiday activities fell to me -- cards, decorating, meals, shopping, etc. A few years ago, I decided I'd had enough.

Cards -- used to do them, but not anymore. I would stress about the cards I was sending, then feel the need to customize cards and envelopes, worry that I was forgetting someone, worry about getting them mailed in time.... So, I stopped. We never got that many, and it just seems like if the only contact with someone is the annual holiday card, are we really 'friends'?

Tree -- we've gone artificial. We could never agree on the real tree, they've gotten more expensive and no one would be responsible for keeping it watered (except me).

Shopping -- limit it to children (11 nieces/nephews + one more on the way) and one large gift per family. This year we actually got special gifts for my sibs and their spouses while on our cruise, then limited it to $10 per child, spent in one store on one day, wrapped that same day, then mailed the next business day. Online shopping for my mom and stepmom.

Meals -- family tradition was ham, but DH doesn't eat pork (or want the kids to), so this has been adjusted to be whatever the family decides on. We've done turkey, chicken, enchiladas, beef wellington (with mushrooms not pate). And judging by Thanksgiving, all three kids can now really help so it's not all me.

Decorating -- it's a family activity, but we really try not to go overboard. Whatever goes up will have to come down.

Parties -- we've never given one and are rarely invited (sounds pretty pathetic, huh?). i really do not enjoy large social gatherings, I'm shy and uncomfortable and tend to end up by myself in a corner. DH realizes this and doesn't push. And having grown up in a tourist town, I really don't enjoy community celebrations/festivals. I like the lights and decorations and music, but not the crowds.

Travel -- up until about 3 years ago we did a lot of Christmas travel. Not anymore. We've put our feet down and told family members that if they really want to see us, it's their turn to travel. And this is not driving a few hours travel. All my family is over a thousand miles away. It takes an entire day just to get there -- hour drive to the airport, wait a couple of hours for a flight that you hope is not delayed or over booked, several hour flight, wait to disembark, wait for luggage, wait for ride, at least an hour drive to final destination. All with hundreds of other families doing the same thing and stressed by the whole process. No thank you, not anymore.

So, you can see we've really simplified. We spend a nice quiet holiday, doing what we want to do, relaxing, going to the movies, whatever. Holidays are no longer something to be dreaded.

Now if I could just get DH to give me stress spankings when it does get to be too much... :)

CSI, Stats and Coming Attractions

Anyone out there watch CSI? Did you catch the last episode -- Cockroaches? Warrick hooks up with an exotic dancer and they head to a hotel. He's been drinking and popping pills and is obviously out of it, but in the middle of his ramblings he clearly says, "You're a bad girl. You need a spanking. You need to be dealt with." Just one more example of spanking and D/s references going mainstream.

Last post I mentioned that I had finally passed 10,000 unique hits and over 13,000 pageloads. Here are some specific stats to go with that:

78 different countries (60% United States; 14% United Kingdom; 6% Canada; 4% Germany) -- 13 0f these I've at least passed through

49 of 50 United States (What, no one from New Mexico visits my blog? Why not? Or is StatCounter missing something?)

309 different "keywords" have directed people to my blog. Some of these indicate that people were searching specifically for my blog, others I'm not so sure I'm what they were looking for. Keywords range from one word (belt, bratting, kids, pervertables, robins, sex, spank, spankability, spankable, spanking) to detailed phrases (a well spanked bottom, asking for a spanking, butt bent over for the hairbrush, fuck my big red spanked bottom, give as many spanks on my butt as you want please, spanked to submission and red bottom).

Now, I'm not sure if whoever entered 'belt' was looking for adult spankings and sex, but I can be fairly sure that the following were not:

• kids
• robin red breast template
  bathbrush sweden
• masturbate man
  

Let me take this chance to apologize to those who accidentally ended up here. There's a reason for the advisory at the top (just in case the title and picture don't clue a person in).

Keywords that seem to be directly related to my blog:

• funny silly
• funny spanking
• lovebites spank
• red bottom blog
  robin red bottom
• robin spanked
• silly spanking
• spanking red bottom blog
• what did dh get me
• why teasing is not good

Some I wish applied to me:

• he spanks me regularly [not yet, but we seem to be getting there]
• husband spank me with a belt [not nearly enough]
• leather my backside [please...]
• my husband knew I needed a spanking [getting there...]
• red sore bottom from her spanking [not nearly often enough]
• small bottom spanked [I wish it were small, sigh]
• spank my little bottom [sigh]
• spanked everyday for a week [not sure I could handle it, but would like to try]
• spanked long and hard [not long enough or hard enough yet]
• spanking to destress [like to try this]
• spanking your little wife's red bottom [not a little wife, sigh]

And some I just don't get:

• dent a hubby
• get a spanking watch
• pan's people most spankable bottoms
• spanking my husband breasts
• tracy spanking
  

Stories about:

• DH's shoe
• Tuesday Night Surprise
• Birthday Spankings (I got 2 -- one for my birthday and one for his -- lucky me)
• Bamboo cutting board, spanking daddy, bathbrush and more

Just as soon as I find the time to finish them. Soon, I promise.

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!

Yep, yep, yep -- it's my birthday today. Whoo hoo. :D

Considering how things have been between DH and me lately, really wasn't sure how things would go today. Not too badly, as it turns out.

Only took me 20 extra minutes to get to work, and that was only because some people don't know how to drive on freshly plowed and salted roads. Sheeeeesh -- 15 minutes to go a mile at one point. And it was a straight, mostly flat stretch of road, no intersections, no lights, well plowed, no accidents -- don't know what the problem was.

Anyway, got to work and there was an e-card from one of the other facilities. And then DH called to wish me happy birthday -- and we actually had a pleasant conversation. Then my sister called while taking my nephews to school, and they all wished me a happy birthday, too. And the girls in the office where I work sent me an e-card.

And then, the topper. See the picture? DH sent me flowers! At work! Where everyone could see them! (Mine aren't exactly like the picture, but similar). Now, I couldn't share the note with my coworkers -- and I have to wonder what the flower people thought of it. Here's what he wrote:

No more fighting, just more actions you know what I mean?

Or you will not get spanking! Happy Birthday!

Can you see me trying to explain that if I'm naughty I won't get a spanking? As it was, they all smiled when I hid the card (it's all women in the office). I'm not holding my breath for the spanking -- he says he will, but there's a distinct lack of follow thru lately. Although last year I did get spanked, twice in one week -- once for my birthday, then 3 days later for his. Works for me :D We've had a few conversations just while I've been writing this. And they've gone well. Determined he wants a special unwrapped present for his birthday -- ME! Looking like it may be a very good weekend.

[Note: we haven't been fighting, just not talking. OC made a comment that was disrespectful to DH, he called her on it, I supported him, and somehow I ended up in the doghouse. I know he's been stressed by things as work, but that's no excuse to be nasty to all of us. When he gets like that, it's just easier to keep my distance until he's ready to be nice again. Of course, work has been more stress this week and then he got scammed & $1500 was removed from his bank account. So heaven only knows who's coming home from Mexico -- DH or his evil twin.]

Talked to my mom last night, so not sure she'll call again today. I had called to make sure they hadn't been blown away or washed away in the storms, spoke with my stepfather, and then mom called me later. She called me an "old lady" but then didn't like it when I referred to a 70-year-old coworker as elderly. So, I responded, "If I'm an old lady, then you're elderly." She laughed. Of course, this is the same woman who called me middle-aged when I turned 30. Personally, I believe that how old you are is determined more by your attitude than the calendar. Don't know why she's trying to age me -- only makes her older.

Oooh, and an added plus -- according to StatCounter today my blog has reached a milestone: over 10,000 unique hits (almost 13,000 pageloads). Please keep coming back, reading and commenting and emailing. Silly, but true, it gives me a thrill to see my stats increase and to see messages show up in my inbox. Please keep it up.

Today

So, things may be getting better. DH is out of town but we did have a mature, normal phone conversation today... I guess we'll see when he gets home.

Hope my readers in the Pacific northwest are ok -- nasty weather situation there. I've got family out there -- my mom's on the Olympic Peninsula & my brother and his family are in the mountains -- they're all ok. I grew up out there (teen years) and went to university in Washington for 4 years, so I really know what it's like there.

And same goes for everyone in the midwest and northeast -- here comes the snow. Stay warm and safe.

Meanwhile, here are some views from my home. Just because we're out of sorts doesn't mean we can't enjoy the season. I apologize for the quality -- these are snaps from videos (we don't have a good digital camera at this time, and while I have a camera in my phone, I don't have anyway to get them off the phone and onto the computer).

Here's a couple of views of our tree...





And from my bathroom, bedroom, & dining room, respectively....






Yep, it's snowing. Kids will have fun shoveling tomorrow after school (yeah, right, I can hear the complaining already). Hopefully the roads are clear for my commute tomorrow. I've made it in heavy snow before, but it easily doubles the time. Yuck. And while we're getting snowed on, DH is in sunny, warm Mexico. Must be rough.

A Christmas Meme

I picked this up from Nothing Random.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!!
Change all the answers so that they apply to you and post it to your blog.
'Tis the Season to be NICE and KIND to each other.!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper, mostly, but the occasional bag.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? Usually at New Year's.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yep, in moderation.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Don't know. My memories are not so much of what I received but of the people I was with.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We used to, but I don't think I've since it since we moved, ummm, 3 years ago. It's really more of a secular holiday for us.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Everyone. I do not do well with gift buying, just can't figure out what people would like.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Myself :D

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Not sure; having a hard time remembering any gifts, good or bad.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? I used to mail them, but haven't done cards the past few years.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Wonderful Life, Santa Claus is Coming to Town

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Pfeffernusse cookies, divinity, ham, rosettes, bacon waffles, klejner cookies, grandma's potato salad, watermelon rind pickles, rice pudding (all from my childhood)

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both

17. Favorite Christmas song? Way too many to list them all -- Christmas Wrapping, Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby & David Bowie, Bellow Wood by Garth Brooks.... I've been posting about some of them over on my other blog.

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Home. We used to travel almost every year (no family nearby), but since my Dad died we've chosen to stay home. Much less stress and hassle.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Comet, Donder, Blitzen, & Rudolph. And I didn't go look this up anywhere.

20. Angel on the treetop or a star? Varies, but last couple of years it's been a star (I am way too picky about how the angel should look).

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve -- my grandparents always had it that way (supposedly a Danish tradition) and since DH came with no Christmas traditions of his own, we've carried that over.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Seeing Christmas aisles in the stores before Halloween, Bell Ringers (I know it's for a good cause, but can we say imminent migraine), coworkers who play the all holiday music all the time radio station way too loud.

23.. What I love most about Christmas? The lights, the decorations, the music, the foods, the friendlier attitude, the joy.