Monday, May 11, 2009

DH in trouble

I hope everyone had a great weekend, especially all the mothers.

I actually had a very nice weekend and Mother's Day (and, yes, you do detect a note of surprise there). My family (my husband) is not very good with celebrations, unless I do all the planning and work, so I wasn't expecting much. Especially since DH just got me the iPhone a couple of weeks ago and said it was my Mother's Day gift. I knew I'd get something from YC as she is still in elementary school and gift making is part of the curriculum.

But.... DH owed me....

Let's start back on Friday.

I was working from home and the kids had no school, so it was a bit of a relaxed morning; relaxed enough that DH and I had time for a little fun before he needed to head out the door. Nothing like starting the day with a little erotic spanking, foreplay and multi-orgasmic sex (discovered later that DH left some love bites on my shoulder and the back of my neck). That evening, DH decided to go out ~~ normal for a Friday ~~ while I stayed home, watching TV, snuggling with YC. Sometime after midnight, I turned everything off and drifted off to sleep.

Only to be awakened at 1:30 a.m. by the ringing phone. We have caller ID, but I didn't know the caller ~~ the name looked like some sort of code. But it included our state... and in that moment I knew, just knew, that it was DH and he was in trouble. Arrested. DUI.

(I want you to know DH is not an alcoholic and does not have a drinking problem ~~ he only goes out a few times a month. Also, he said it was okay to blog about this ~~ maybe someone out there has had a similar experience and can offer advice.)

I got directions to the state police facility where he was being held ~~ way the hell out in the boondocks. And at 2am I headed out the door to get to him. I had lots of time to think about how I would react and decided to keep calm. He's an intelligent man and I knew I wouldn't say anything he hadn't already said to himself, and he didn't need me adding to his guilt and stress. So I paid the bond and waited. We got home around 3am.

He talked all the way home. He'd been at one place, got a call from a friend at another place and DH went to go join him. Since DH was in a rush to get there before his friend left, he was driving a little too aggressively ~~ tailgating and an illegal lane change (unfortunately, DH does not have to be drinking to drive this way, it's pretty normal). This is what got the officer's attention. And of course, once DH was pulled over, the officer could tell he'd be drinking and did all the standard tests. DH thought he was doing well, but the officer's notes indicated that he failed the tests. So, on went the handcuffs and off he went to jail.

It was obvious how bad he felt about the whole thing. No anger towards the police, just towards himself. I just made sure I was there for him, making supportive comments and gestures. One of the ways I could tell how upset he was ~~ as we finally laid down to sleep he curled up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and fell asleep holding me tight. We don't generally sleep like this ~~ it's too uncomfortable. But it was what he needed.

Up Saturday and off to the impound yard. Kids of course had questions about where was Daddy's car. I just told them it was towed, figuring it was up to DH to tell them as much or as little about what happened.

Then it was computer searches for attorneys and phone calls and reviews of the tickets and other paperwork. It's going to cost thousands to get through this. On our side is that it's a first offense, he wasn't far over the legal limit, he was not driving dangerously, and no one was hurt. Right now it's just wait and see.

I'll continue with this in the next post. Promise.


Anonymous said...

So sorry you're going through this. My family has ex cops in it and are always amazed at how little you can be busted on these days. It's very humbling at a minimum and may help DH to drive less aggressively in general which is important. Best of luck to you two and kudos for being so sweet and supportive. KayLynn

Mina said...

I hope all goes well for you and it doesn't cost as much as you think.


Robin said...

Hi KayLynn and Mina ~~ we're working through it. DH hired an attorney, got permission to leave the state for travel and even got his license back (for now, anyway). It's already cost about $2500, and we're not done yet. DH plans on selling his motorcycle to pay for it.
As to being sweet and supportive, I just knew nothing good would come out of my lighting into him about it. He knew he'd done wrong, he didn't need me harping on him about it. And I have to live with him ~~ it was going to be hard enough without me giving him any reason to point his ire at me.