Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"Poly is not contagious"

Since we went to the club, quite a bit has happened. Not all of it good at the time, but we've worked through it.

DH, even though he was interested in getting a membership to the club, was concerned that joining and attending would (not might) lead us to open up our marriage. Part of this came about because I was talking to a poly couple, who while not leaving real close by, live near enough that we could meet. And I would like to meet them ~~ not because I am looking for people to have sex with, but because I would like to have some RL friends to go along with my online ones. 

So there were about 3 days of bitterness as he outlined all the things that he was absolutely sure would happen if we met poly, kinky people in real life, and I kept telling him that while it was okay for him to be concerned and that we should talk about it, I am not interested in anything but friendship and just because you meet people and enjoy their company does not mean you want to sex with them (or they with you). And as one OL friend said, "Poly is not contagious." It took him 3 days to work this all out in his mind; days where he wasn't not always nice and calm as he dwelled on his worries (blowing them all out of proportion as far as I was concerned); days full of angry, bitter, hurtful text messages, including one where he called me a not nice name which I received right as I pulled into work. Well, I dissolved in tears, texted him back, then we spoke on the phone. There was no way I was going to be able to work, so I called my boss from the parking lot, fighting back tears, and left him a message about it being a bad day and I just was not going to be able to work and was heading back home (apparently worrying them all horribly, which was so not my intention).

I got back home and crawled into bed. Along with all the emotional anguish, I could now clearly feel the build up of a migraine. And then DH called, again. But this time, he acknowledged his over reaction, that he was painting things with a certainty that was not certain ~~ that things would happen, that things would go wrong, that we and our marriage were doomed... That while there were possible risks, there was no guarantee that any of the situations he was imagining would actually happen, and as long as when we start feeling worried about things we talk about them (calmly), we would be okay. All this, along with my repeated assurances that I am not looking for anyone else (no matter how much I may fantasize about multiple partners...), straightened everything out.

After a short rest, I was horny... and the sexting began:

me: Any chance you could come home for a quick fuck before the kids get home?
DH: I love too but I was out yesterday and today I came late, took 1 hr lunch. How about tonight? Next week on Wednesday practice flogging when kids are school, I take half day off
DH: Now I am aroused
me: Can I take care of myself then?
       Tonight should work.
       Kids don't have school Wednesday plus MC gets his braces
me: I have my hitachi on my clit and a curved glass toy inside...
DH: Yes go for it.
DH: Now this is not fair teasing
me: Just want to keep your mind focused. You'll be raring to go tonight :)

There was a little more, but nothing racy...

DH came home, there was dinner, housework, getting the kids into bed...

Finally, our time.

First we showered so we would be nice and clean for each other. Then started to set items out. A while ago I bought an inexpensive collar and cuff set, with a strap running down from the collar that the cuffs attached to (found a pic online ~ that is not me). DH got out the flogger, the crop, a paddle, flavored edible oils, I got out the collar/cuffs and the chocolate mint oil...  DH grinned out the sight of the collar/cuffs and put them on me ~~ he especially likes my hands behind my back when I go down on him. 

He stood in front of the fireplace and coated his cock with chocolate mint edible oil while I carefully knelt. I sucked, and licked, and pleasured him in the way he so enjoys. Even, slowly and carefully, taking him deep into my mouth, almost into my throat, at times (this is hard for me as I have a very sensitive gag reflex). Looking up at him, I throatily stated how much I loved his chocolate mint cock. I felt him twitch at my words.

Then, when he'd had enough, he moved to the bed, telling me to stand and come to him. I did, and he had me bend over the edge while he alternately caressed and spanked me. He applied oil and rubbed up against my ass, slipping slightly into me with his rubbing thrusts. Finally, he helped me up onto the bed and with one hard thrust, filled my hungry cunt with his cock. It didn't take long 'til we were both moaning and coming.

I was ready to collapse on the bed, but he wasn't done with me yet. He picked up the flogger and went to work on my ass. Because of the collar and cuffs (my hands were still behind my back) he couldn't flog my back, so he focused on perfecting him aim on my ass. I stood there, bent over the side of the bed, his come and my juices running down my legs as he flogged me ~~ over and over again the lashes hit, sometimes stinging, sometimes thudding... It was incredible. I felt so warm, so ... content to be right where I was, at his mercy as he practiced and practiced...

Ahhh, just remembering now as I write this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, aroused and tingly too.

Once he finished, he removed the collar and cuffs, we cleaned up, then snuggled in bed as we waited for sleep to overtake us.

I slept very well, and went to work the next morning with a smile on my face and happy songs running through my head.


Anonymous said...

It is not uncommon at all for one or even both partners to jump to conclusions when the parameters of a relationship are changing. It sounds as though he allowed his emotions to over run his inner dialog and therefore naturally assume that because you wanted to explore this growing side of yourself with him and have friends to talk and share thoughts about it with, that you also wanted or would allow it to change your own relationship. I understand. It is not only something you want, having people to talk to about this side of yourselves, but it is advisable and often necessary. And the truth is that for most people in any BDSM lifestyle, they may engage in various things with others such as flogging and such, but for the most, they remain very much intact within their own monogamous relationship and do not swing. I am hoping that with time, you will both be able to more easily come to a mutual agreement and be able to continue your exploration of what is obviously attractive to you both within this lifestyle or thing we do. Best of luck always. Poppet.


john said...

Good to hear there was a happy end. Do you trust him completely cuffed and collar or are you sure there is no anger in his heart when it's time for play ?

We have done a lot of spanking play with others and most was fun and exciting though there have been "little" problems too just as in vanilla contacts. Friends however have had real problems by former kinky friends threating to expose their real indentity if they didn't delete a post on the internet in which there was some reference to a party.culantan

Spanking Photo Blog said...

Hello, i have a spanking blog to. I wonder if you like exchange links!. Let me know What you think. Best regards Enzo

Robin said...

Hi Poppet ~~ I know you're already off to see your Captain as I respond to this, but I try never to let a comment go unrecognized.

Everything you say here I agree with. I just think as the initial kink instigator in our relationship, I am perhaps just a little further along in processing things than my husband is. Which is why I try not to push too hard, but more guide him to look into and try things.

And, as much as he loves to have sexy fun with me and enjoys porn, he's still a bit closed off when it comes to possibly sharing with others (I'm talking verbal sharing here). He's afraid people will judge him harshly for his desires and activities ~~ as though I'd ask him to share with just anyone.

The last few weeks have been very good, and I'm now looking forward to celebrating his birthday when he gets home next weekend.


Robin said...

Hi john,
Thanks for visiting and commenting.

When we're playing, I have trust in him. He's very careful of me when we play, especially when I am restrained in any way. And that trust continues to grow (if I manage to post about my birthday, I'll talk about that increase in trust).

As our play is all erotic in nature, we have to be in a specific frame of mind just to want to play. And anger does not lead to that mindset.

I understand about being careful. I would never name someone on here, or give so many details of an experience that someone might be identified, and I would expect the same discretion from any other blogger we might meet.

And as I have repeatedly told DH, just because we might meet someone with similar interests does not mean we will either like them or want to play (or more) with them.


Robin said...


You are always welcome to link to my blog.

However, I don't 'trade' links. I will link to a blog if I like it or think it is a good resource.

If I get a chance to review your blog, like it, and actually get around to updating my blogroll, you'll be there.