Four days and counting...

...til we head off on our 2 week vacation.

But before I get into all that, here's an update.

How I know DH is trying -- I bought a new camera, Canon Rebel Xti 10.1MP, without discussing it with DH. This was not a spur of the moment decision, but researched and thought out. Every year since my Dad died, I've received a disbursement, and this year was no different. Once I was informed that I would get the disbursement and for how much, I started researching cameras online. I looked at different brands, compared specs, read user reviews, checked different vendors for prices, went to stores to actually look at and hold the ones I was interested in. And I made my decision, went to Amazon.com and ordered the camera and a few accessories. All without saying a word to DH.

He got back from his trip last Sunday and we all went out for dinner. While out, OC mentioned that I had ordered a camera. DH asked how much, etc., and wasn't really happy with my answers, complaining that I should have discussed it with him first (I didn't because I knew he wouldn't like my choice). He got quiet and still and said to me, "This is a lot to take in. I'm going to need some time." The old DH would have cursed, made negative comments and stormed out. We had a quiet, if somewhat tense meal, then went home. While relaxing before bed, he told me that he also ordered a camera (without discussing with me :p). We snuggled and all was fine.

The next morning while showering together before work, he got in a few sharp smacks on my behind. When I asked if I was being spanked because of the camera, he said 'no, you don't get any spanking now" and stopped. Darn it -- isn't it supposed to be the other way? Misbehave and get a spanking?

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I was too exhausted all week for any action; it was like I was on a timer -- the clock hit 10pm and I was out. I knew DH wanted some attention, but I was alert for such a small time after the kids went to bed... But I decided that Thursday he'd get some special attention -- I'd urge the kids to go to bed on time and make sure things were ready for the night so we'd get to bed a little earlier.

During dinner cleanup, DH was putting food in the fridge and I went over to give/get some kisses. Along with the kisses, I got some nice spanks -- not too hard, not too soft, with a nice rhythm. My back was to the family room, but apparently MC was watching. DH smiled and nodded his head to let me know we had an audience. 'I'm just standing here, you're doing the spanking' was my response. It was definitely a clear sign of where his mind was.

I got YC into bed, and got things ready. I got undressed and into my robe, got out the edible oil and a towel, and waited for DH. I was going to surprise him with a blowjob.

He came up and got ready for bed. I closed and locked the door. He decided the dog needed one more trip outside. I waited. He came back in, but didn't close and lock the door. I protested.

Door closed and locked he came to bed. The TV was on, but honestly, I have no idea what we were watching. I snuggled up and let my hand start working on him. Wasn't long before it was evident how much he was enjoying my attentions.

I told him to remove his pants. He was a little surprised, but that didn't slow him down. I shifted my position so I was half kneeling, half lying perpendicular to him. I pulled out the edible oil, and poured it on. It's the type that warms up when blown on -- so I blew, and DH groaned. And then I went to town, licking, sucking, nibbling -- working hard to make sure I got up every last drop of oil. And while I was working on him, DH was working on me -- patting, spanking, rubbing, pulling my robe up, pulling my panties up so they weren't covering my bottom but were still rubbing sensitive areas.

DH told me how sexy I looked with my hair pulled back so he could watch me work on his cock. He'd tell me how much he liked certain movements, told me to do others, moved my head. He was so enjoying his special surprise.

Then he told me to stop -- he didn't want to come in my mouth, but in my pussy. I needed to remove my robe and get on all fours at the edge of the bed -- his favorite position for me. I did as he asked. Once I was in place, he leaned over to pull off my panties, and as he did, he kissed my left cheek. God, I love when he does little things like that....

And then the spanking began. Strong, solid spanks. I have to admit, I did do a little topping from the bottom, turning back to look at him while asking what kind of spanking was this supposed to be, punishment or fun (damn, he can spank hard). He just told me to shhh, and indicated I should get back into position. But I did notice that the spanks weren't quite so punishing after that :D

And of course, one thing led to another. He spanked me (not enough), oiled me, and fucked me. Deciding that he hadn't lasted long enough to thoroughly pleasure me, he went and got a certain toy out (the purple vibrating one that looks like a certain piece of male anatomy). (To be fair, we hadn't had any 'fun' since before he left on this last trip -- almost 2 weeks, and I did get him pretty worked up with the BJ). And with me lying prone on my belly, he used that toy till I squirted all over it in ecstasy.

All this, and I still had the lights out by 10 :D

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So things are good, and DH has promised we're going to have lots of fun on our vacation, too. Don't think it'll be quite as much 'fun' as last years since the kids will be with us, but we'll try (we're taking toys).

Happy Earth Day

Hey all. Still alive, still kicking. Just seems like everytime I'm feeling energized enough to get on the computer, life steps in. Long hours at work, prepping for vacation, school activities, etc.

Last week I was all set to hop online on Wednesday. I took a bad spill that morning (fell off the edge of a sidewalk causing my right ankle to fold in as far as it could go) so I came home from work, had my ankle compressed, iced, and elevated. Turned the computer on, got my notes out, and.....

NO INTERNET!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Apparently DH forgot to pay the bill -- what with all the tax headaches we had and the travelling for work. So he called from Mexico, I asked, he exclaimed -- then paid the bill.

Thursday -- no internet.

Friday -- while at work I called the provider. They needed to do an update and that should fix things. Nope. Came home, called them again, followed their instructions, and voila -- internet access. Yeah! But now it was late, and YC had a friend sleeping over, so I couldn't shut myself away with my laptop.

Then the weekend was just too busy.

So, since I had to get on line anyway to do our pre-cruise online check-in, I figured 'what the heck' and here I am.

But since this is 'just checking in' post -- got an early day tomorrow -- this is all you get from me.

Things are...

... better. Stabilized. Improving? I'm still just taking it one day at a time, but the days have been pretty good lately.

DH has decided, after talking to a marriage counsellor, that marriage counselling is not what we need as all the nasty hurtful things he said to me were said precisely because he knew they would be hurtful, not because he really feels that way. And that compared to others he knows, we really do have a good marriage. His problems are stress and anger and how he deals with them. I still think he needs to talk to someone about ways to deal with the stress and anger, but I can't force him, and I think it scared him that I was ready to let him go without begging him to stay. He's been trying really hard not to let the stressful things build up to the point where he rages. I did see "Anger Management for Dummies." Thought about buying it, for about 2 seconds -- DH is not a reader.

So after multiple apologies, both verbal and written, we've started to reconnect.

And, yes, I do mean sex and spankings.

It's taken me a while to get to where I felt I could be physically intimate with him again. Of course, my resistance to his advances was not appreciated, and temporarily increased the friction. But we talked it out. At times like this, instead of being a hindrance, his travelling has helped as it has given us physical distance while still allowing us to talk (phone and email) and say what needs to be said.

I did tell him clearly that there had better never be a repeat of that day -- he's out of "second chances."

And I also told him, only partly joking, that he ever pulls that crap again, he will be the one bent over with a bare backside getting the spanking. He laughed -- I was only partly kidding. Could I really do it? Not without his consent as there is no way I could hold him down if he didn't want to be held done and spanked -- but I think it's a good indication of how serious I am about no longer tolerating his angry outbursts.

So, keep wishing us well. It seems like we're on the right track back to normality, but it still takes time to regain all the ground that was lost.