What We Did on Our Summer Vacation, part 2

Day 3 -- Morning was unexciting. Packing, dropping off luggage at Terminal, quick drive around San Pedro, then waiting with the kids for what seemed like hours while DH returned rental car.
Did overhear one funny bit of conversation~
Son (maybe 6 years old) to father wearing pirate hat w/ Jack Sparrow hair: Dad, if you're going to be a pirate, I'm not going to be your friend.
Alright, well, we found it funny.
Once on board, it took a bit to find our cabins - it was a b-i-g ship. Kids were across the hall from us, in a smaller interior cabin. Which they all felt was grossly unfair.
Stood on deck as we set sail, just enjoying the view ~ brought back memories of being on small boats leaving that same harbor. After lunch, we explored a bit, then spent time is the pool & hot tub. After dinner, we all played video games in the arcade.
By 9:30 we were all dragging so headed to bed.
Gotta say I loved having a balcony. It was fun to leave the curtains & balcony door wide open while changing :-)

Day 4 -- We all slept in 'til about 9:30. While eating breakfast we saw sea lions floating by.
Spent more time exploring the ship. While in the Photo Gallery, I glanced out a window & saw whales. 3 or 4 of them, coming up to breathe as they swam by, the occasional fluke lift.. They were too far away for me to identify what species, but they did not have prominent dorsal fins (so NOT orcas no matter what my son might say).
While the kids went for a swim, DH & I hung out in our cabin for a bit, enjoying the view off our balcony. We even saw several dolphins.
Later, the kids & I were on the balcony and noticed several small animals at the front of the ship, but we weren't sure what they were. At first they appeared to be birds as they seemed to be flying away. But then they would dive into the water... Only we never saw them come back to the surface like you'd think a bird would. Flying fish? We went to a lower deck that was open to the outside so se could get a closer look. Yep. Flying fish. We watched for quite a while as it was interesting to see how they flew.
We also saw more sea lions floating by.
Kids eventually spent more time swimming. We hadn't seen DH since lunch ~ hours earlier. I joined the kids for awhile, then it was time to get ready for Formal Night. Had a wonderful dinner & got a few family photos taken.
After dropping the kids back at their cabin, DH & I went out for a couple of drinks before heading to our own cabin to have some fun. DH put on some porn, laid out all the implements & had me get into position, bent over the edge of the bed. He started with his hand (my favorite), then switched things up by also using the evil bathbrush, the flogger, & the leather paddle. He was rather heavy handed at times & I had to struggle not to make too much noise. Soon I was up on the bed, face pressed down into pillows to muffle my cries & moans as he pounded into me, eliciting multiple orgasms. Then more flogging & spanking as I stayed with my ass up & legs spread. DH applied & rubbed oil on my skin & lubed us both in preparation for anal. It didn't take long 'til I was moaning & screaming into the pillows again as orgasm after orgasm flashed through my body. He even reached around to rub my clit & finger my pussy, before gripping my hips tightly in his hands as he thrust harder & faster for his own release.
Sated & exhausted, we quickly cleaned up & collapsed into bed.

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Part 3 coming soon...


*hugs*
Robin

What We Did on Our Summer Vacation

So a while back I said I would write about our family vacation, a 7-day cruise from Los Angeles (San Pedro) down to Mexico & back.

Here's a start:

Day 1 -- We flew into Orange County Friday afternoon, staying at a hotel by the Long Beach airport. That first night should have clued me in on how the entire trip would go.
After a late family dinner at one of our favorite places, I was hoping for some sex-filled quality time with DH. But there was a game he wanted to watch & a friend he wanted to go out with. By the time the game finished, I was falling asleep. So DH showered & went out.
He came back well after 2 a.m., drunk & high. Yes, I said high, as in stood in the mens bathroom with strangers smoking joints. He climbed in the bed & fell asleep. I did not sleep well.

Day 2 -- Our 15-year-old son woke us at 8 a.m. because he was bored & hungry. And then because we didn't immediately hop up & fulfill all his wishes, he had a breakdown, yelling, sulking, walking off so we couldn't find him. (It was after we got up but before we got with the kids that DH told me about being too drunk & smoking pot. I was incredibly disappointed in him).
I finally managed to 'text' our son down & we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. I love this aquarium. When we lived near there, we always had a membership.
Considering how the day had started, we all had a really good time. We saw everything, taking all the time we wanted. We held birds, touched sharks & skates & rays & sea urchins & sea hares. In one of the large tanks there was a huge grouper that seemed to be very interested in our youngest, repeatedly swimming up to & past her. At the largest tank, we got to watch divers feeding lettuce to various fish & sea creatures. Our youngest got an upside down high five from one of them.
Just a really great time. After 2-1/2 hours we were still reluctant to leave but we wanted to visit some of our old haunts, have lunch & then drive down to Huntington Beach & Laguna Beach. Later, it was back to the hotel & a late dinner at In-n-Out.
We did manage to get in a quickie before bed.

Side notes -- I'm a west coast girl ~ childhood in the east bay area of California, youth in Washington State, down to southern California after university. It always feels like coming home. The purple blooms of the jacaranda. Palm trees. Bougainvillas. Hibiscus. Ice plants along the freeways.
White stucco walls. Red tile roofs.
June gloom, which hopefully burns away for at least a few hours before the marine layer rolls back in as the day approaches its end.
Standing on cliffs or beaches staring out to sea, watching boats, ships, surfers, gulls, pelicans; hoping to see dolphins swimming by; listening to the waves crash upon rocks or shush over the sand; salty air blowing & coating skin and hair.
Even after 8 years away, I miss it horribly & always suffer homesickness even after just a short visit.
~sigh~

Someday soon I'll try to get some more posted.

P.S. Right now, I can't add pictures as they are all on my malfunctioning laptop & I am writing this on my phone. Hopefully in the not too distant future I'll be able to get some posted.

*hugs*
Robin

Just checking in...

I know it looks like I've abandoned this blog, but really I haven't... Just haven't a) had much time to get on here, and b) even if I did have time I just haven't felt like I had much to share, especially not anything in line with the title of this blog.

So, what's been keeping me away, you ask? (I know you're dying with curiousity 0_o)

*There are two seasons here as far as roads are concerned ~~ winter and road work. As soon as winter ends the road work starts and screws up everything. My commute that used to take just an hour in the morning and an hour and a half in the evening now takes at least an hour and a half in the morning and two hours in the evening. I'm up at 5:30 to leave at 6:30 to hopefully get to work by 8 so I can leave at 4:30 and hopefully be home by 7. As you can see, doesn't leave a lot of time for leisure activities. And it also means most housework and errands get pushed off to the weekends, leaving little fun and/or me time then.

*Back in March I entered into a depressive period that lasted the better part of a month (if not more; the beginning and end of one of these periods is not cut in stone). DH of course took it all personally and his attitude only served to draw things out even longer. I've since come out of it and am doing fine.

*I've been having hip and back pain on and off for about a year and a half. Mentioned during my physical last fall; x-rays were taken. The message from the nurse after they were reviewed was that nothing out of the ordinary was seen but if I continued to have problems I might want to consider physical therapy (and the way she said it made me feel like I was being a hypochondriac). Well, with the increase in my commute times, the pain is more frequent and more intense. Plus, I spoke with my younger sister and she shared that she'd been going through the same thing and she had been diagnosed with degeneration at L5 and arthritis of the sacrum. So, back to the doctor. More x-rays, referral to PT and super pain reliever for bedtime. This time the message about the x-rays came from my doctor who said that the x-rays showed the same now as they did in November ~~ a mild curvature (scoliosis) to the left and mild L5-S1 narrowing, consistent with arthritic change. Too bad this wasn't made clear in November. So, anyway, along with lack of time due to long commute, lets throw in pain making me less than interested in computer and/or writing activities.

*There just have not been a lot of fun and/or play activities to write about. Between my depressive episode, his traveling for work, my aches and pains and exhaustion from work and all, we just have had a really hard time connecting enough for just regular normal vanilla sex, let alone finding time and energy for any level of play. We've averaged about once every 4 to 6 weeks... Just not enough. Although I am sitting here with a nicely sore bottom as I am writing this ;-)

So, there are a few reasons ~~ not shared as excuses, but as explanations of what's been keeping me away. In fact, I haven't even had the time and inclination to keep up on reading others' blogs ~sigh~

Twitter keeps me sane :-) And connected with the world.

*****************************

Now, at some point I do have a few things to post and share ~~

• Poetry
• Drawing
• Vacation posts and pictures
• Whatever else I can manage to come up with

Please bear with me as I work my way back to blogging.

e[lust] #10

HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln

Welcome to e[lust] - The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Negotiation - Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in Public - All the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire...

Dollar Store Domme - He definitely can't elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I'm already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.

The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo? - Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Navigating Genderqueer in Suburbia - But pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing Abuse - I needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.

See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

15 minute phone sex
...And Orgasms On Demand
A Neighbor In Need #7
Afternoon Delight!
Casino
Desperation & Dominance
Dreams
Evening Home, Part 3
First Asleep Loses
Happy ending
I Got....
I am a keeper of secrets
I Got Fucked
I am Coming for You: A Letter to Scin
Late Night Satisfaction
Lolita's Mother
Making M Squirt
Sir ~ intro
The Hatter
The Flash Fiction Friday FAQ!
Trussed
We fucked, they applauded
Where there is a libido, there is a way
Wicked Wednesday: Idyll

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

20 Reasons Why Sex Is Good
Defining Sex
Hurt me, Pet
I Was Raped
Playing Dumb
Red Flags of an Abusive Partner, Part 2
Restrictions and Satisfaction
Someone Else's Shoes
Sex Isn't Everything
The Art of Sensual Touching-Caressing for You and Your Partner
The STI You Haven't Heard of: Molluscum contagiosum
The Suit
Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve
What I Don't Need

Kink & Fetish

A Little Girl's Need for Submission
Are You Done Yet?
A Reformatory Punishment
BDSM Advice Series: Floggers
Bruises
Determined to bind
His Slut
I Really Wasn't In The Mood
Impact
Pain and Healing
Questions From DH About These Things We Do
Surrender
Sub Drop: Fact or Fiction?
Tiiu Ashcraft - Fetish Artist and Beauty
The Eroticism of Tattoos
The Competition
Wanting to want

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A History of Violence
Asshat of the Day Award
Awesome Mentoring Work and Upcoming Apprenticeship

Questions From DH About These Things We Do

A couple of weeks ago, while out on our date night, my DH asked me a couple of questions:

• Do I really get aroused from "these things we do" ~~ spanking, flogging, bondage, etc.?

and

• Why do I get aroused from them?

*************

Now, that first one is quick and easy to answer ~~ Absolutely, yes, I get aroused from all of the above. There is ample physical evidence to support this ~~ we both have felt how swollen and wet I get from our activities. We can easily go straight from spanking to fucking without there having been any direct stimulation of my clit or pussy, and I will quickly have multiple orgasms. Seems pretty obvious, doesn't it.

The second question is much more difficult to answer. Not because I have no idea, but because finding the words that might adequately express my thoughts and feelings is not always an easy task. But I tried. Now in the spirit of full disclosure, let me just add here that I had already been flogged, spanked, cropped and caressed for about half an hour earlier that evening, and had just had a mint chocolate martini. So I was feeling warm and fuzzy, inside and out.

I started by explaining that I felt there were three components to it ~~ physical, mental, and emotional ~~ and that they were all interconnected. I tend to picture it as a type of triskele or triskelion:

Three points all joined at their bases, but also connected by the neverending circle that flows from one to the other then the next, continuously.

Anyway...

Emotionally ~~

• Trust. I am trusting him to do what he will without causing irreparable damage. I am also trusting that he is truthful when he tells me that he is enjoying all this, too, and not just because I want it or because it's what he thinks I want to hear.
• Love. Through this give-and-take, our love for each other has strengthened and deepened. I may not feel gushy feelings of love as he's actively beating my ass, but afterwords, as we're basking in the glow, yes, I feel great love for him.
• Passion. Sharing this with him, my submission to his dominance, has increased the passion we feel for one another, in the moment, and outside of it. We have come to know and understand each other better, and that has allowed us to share even more of ourselves with each other ~~ our hopes, dreams, fantasies ~~ without repurcussion.
• Surprise
• Wonder
• Amusement
• Happiness
• Completion
• Caring
• Affection

Well, I think you get the idea ~~ there are so many emotions tied into it that there's no way I could adequately list and explain each one. Just know that because of these things we do, our emotional relationship, in and out of the bedroom, has improved in all these areas.


Mentally ~~

This is a little harder, as the difference between mental and emotional, as I see them, is not always easy to explain. While there can be thoughts tied to emotions and emotions tied to thoughts, their processes aren't the same. One is feeling, the other is thinking. So this piece has to do with the actual thought processes that are involved.

The largest mental aspect for me is the whole submission thing. I'm actively choosing to give up control to my husband, at least in certain circumstances. We have taken the time to discuss our wants and needs, to express our thoughts on what we want our relationship to be, what works for us. Yes, emotions underlie all this, but we are using logic and reason to work out the details.

Physically ~~

This is perhaps the easiest part for me to explain.  There is the pain, of course. I'm being hit with all sorts of implements in all sorts of ways ~~ hard, soft, stingy, thuddy, fast, slow, rhythmic, chaotic, here, then there... And I am finding that in certain situations, pain is wonderful. But them, it doesn't stay pain. It morphs into a wave of heat, spreading out from the point of impact, and eventually suffusing my entire body. And when that heat reaches my pussy, it increases the arousal that has already been fed by the emotional and mental components.

I think a good comparison would be fireworks. The strike is the equivalent of the mortar exploding in the air. Watching, we don't know where exactly that's going to happen nor what form exactly the fireworks will take ~~ large and rapidly spreading; a dripping cascade of sparkles; red, gold, silver, blue, green, purple; up high or down low; individually or a multitude overlapping without rhythm or pattern... And the submissive or bottom, likewise, doesn't know which implement, where it will strike, nor what force will be behind the strike. But we know it's coming, we expect it. And then the fireworks appear/the pain becomes spreading heat and we are mesmerized by the experience.

And when DH gets a good rhythm going, particularly with the flogger ~~ an even pace, consistency with the force ~~ it's so very, very hypnotic, and I find myself drifting away on the sensations, floating, thoughtless... Subspace? I think so, but it really doesn't matter what I or anyone else might call it. All that matters is how it makes me feel.

*************************

Now, I don't know what anyone reading this might think or feel about what I've shared here, whether there is agreement or disagreement. But I do know that DH was moved by what I expressed to him that night. So moved in fact, that he was ready to head home right then to spend some time on these things we do.

Making Up is Fun to do...

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Microfantasy Monday ~~ Books (1)

Microfantasy Monday is the brainchild of Ang of Sweltering Celt.

"Robin! You get your ass up here right now!" His voice echoed through the house.

~Oh, god, what now~ I thought as I followed the audible trail of his angry muttering up the stairs and into our bedroom, where I found him standing in my closet.

"What the hell! Where did all these books come from? Look at this," waving a bookstore bag and receipt in my face, "you just bought these last week. I clearly remember telling you 'no more books', at least not without checking with me first. And I also clearly recall you agreeing to this rule, however reluctantly. Didn't you?"

Without moving my eyes from his, I slowly nodded in agreement. I did remember him telling me he didn't want me buying any more books, and that there would be 'consequences' if I did. But, while he always threatened consequences, there never were any, and after a month of no book purchases, and no questioning from him on whether I was following the rule, I just figured he had forgotten, again, and didn't really care. So, I went to the bookstore, planning just to get two books by authors I like, but instead, as usual, I found many more I just had to have. Of course, I knew better than to just leave them lying around, so I put them in my closet thinking he'd never see them there.

Apparently, I was wrong.

"These books are going back to the store. Uh uh, don't even try to say anything right now. I am so pissed. Pissed that you would go and do something I specifically told you not to. And it's so obvious you were trying to hide these from me too." He advanced towards me, forcing me to back out of the closet and into our bedroom.

He was shaking, he was so angry.

"I am too angry to deal with you now. I'm going out for a while, but when I come back, there will be a punishment for breaking the rule. You will stay here in our room until that time. And I will be checking." And with that, he stormed out.

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He returned about an hour later, still angry and upset, but much calmer than when he had left.

"I've thought about this, a lot. You've said often that you'd like more of a DD aspect to our marriage. I haven't wanted to, but I feel like you've pushed me to this. I asked you to follow one simple rule ~ do not buy any books ~ and not only did you buy books but you deliberately tried to hide that from me. I honestly feel that this is the only way you will truly listen to me." He closed and locked the bedroom door, closed the curtains, and turned up the volume on the TV. "Remove all your clothes and stand in that corner."

I slowly and fearfully did as instructed. While in the corner I could hear him moving around, obviously setting things up for my punishment. I figured spanking, but with which implement, how many, how long... We'd never done this for anything but play...

"Come to the bed and lean over the side."

Sitting on the bed were not only all our standard implements, but also the books I had bought. I could hardly move... but I managed to get into position.

"I think we'll start with 10 per side with each implement, including each of the books you bought, then I'll see if I think you need more. You will stay in position and you will count out each strike. Ready..."

And with full force, he began...

Quite a Bit Going On

Since DH and I have made up, there has been quite a bit going on. And to make sure I remember everything so I have something to write about here, I've taken to carrying a journal around with me and just jotting things down.

1-18-10 (noted on):

• I asked DH if he'd like to try fisting me sometime. He's definitely interested. Not sure when we'll actually try. (There was a surprise attempt; plan to write it up later)
• Rope play ~~ he's expressed an interest in trying this (maybe it was the pictures at the BDSM club ~~ I noticed him really looking at them). Told him a local online friend would be happy to demonstrate on me :-)  Also told him about a couple of websites he/we could check out.
• While waiting at the orthodontist, read an interesting article in Newsweek. The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage by Theodore B. Olson. Very interesting and well written. It's refreshing to see an acknowledged conservative calmly and rationally refute all the irrational conservative arguments against it. In case you can't tell, I'm all for gay marriage. Actually people in any sort of committed loving consensual relationship should be allowed to have the legal recognition that a marriage certificate brings, even if they don't have one  ~~ gay, straight, poly, etc. ~~ health care coverage, tax breaks, recognition as family during emergencies, and so on. The world needs more love, in all it's many permutations, and not more intolerance and downright hate. My great uncle is gay ~~ I remember meeting him and his partner as a young child then again as a teen and nobody every treated it as odd. I had gay, lesbian, and bi- friends in college ~~ dormmates and roommates. I never felt uncomfortable around them or felt that there was anything 'wrong' with them. Sure, some I liked better than others, but you can say that about anybody, regardless of sexual orientation. This is a big reason I left the religion I grew up in ~~ very upset by their very public opposition to gay marriage.

Wednesday 01-20-10:

I woke up on the 20th with an extremely painful left eye. Upper and lower lids were swollen, eye itself felt hot, burning, scratchy. There was constant pain, running, extreme light sensitivity. And it also affected my right eye, making doing anything at all extremely difficult. (Did you know that tear ducts drain into nasal passages? Me neither. Until along with the runny left eye, I had a runny left nostril). Oh, and to top it off, although I am right-handed, I am left-eyed, so my poor, less good, right eye was having to do all the work ~~ it was not happy. And funny thing, I actually had a dream about my eye hurting, and I got up, went into the bathroom and was pulling balls of lint out of my eye :-/

DH stayed home with me. Took YC to school then took me to the doctor. Doctor took a look at my eye, said she didn't have the necessary equipment to really look at it and made me an appointment with and ophthalmologist later that day. Between appointments, DH needed to stop by the office and then we went to lunch. During the drive, I glanced over at DH to find him grinning. Here's what he was thinking:

• What if I get any eyepatch?
• I would look like a pirate...
• I could dress up like a pirate... (he then commented, "Too bad I'm not more submissive. You could be a pirate queen...)
• Thoughts of me dressed in my maid costume...
• Leading to thoughts of what he likes to do to me when I'm a 'maid'

Finally saw the ophthalmologist. My eye was feeling much better at this point, but still obviously not normal. He took a look, removed some fibers and found that I had an infected scratch over my iris, kind of close to the pupil. I have no idea how this happened ~~ injuries of this sort are most commonly seen with contact wearers and I don't wear contacts. I was given antibiotic eye drops and sent on my way.

Thursday it was better, but still too bad for me to make the long drive into work. I worked a little bit from home, but was so exhausted and maybe slightly feverish that I spent most of the day napping and resting. That night, DH and I held hands and snuggled a bit while watching TV. When I turned onto my left side to sleep, his hand drifted to my bottom and rested there. I reached back to continue holding hands and he told me he was happy holding my butt. So, lots of loving touches, but I was just too tired and sick for sex ~~ and he didn't push. However, when I thanked him for taking such good care of me, he told me I owe him a blowjob. :-D

Friday I went into work. My eye was better, but still red and the upper lid was still a little swollen. It was really freaking my boss out ~~ he told me he couldn't even look at it, had to make sure he was looking at my other eye when talking to me.

Saturday was filled with errands ~~ car needed service, needed to pick up prescription and get drops to soothe my poor overworked right eye (while at Walgreen's, son managed to drop a spill a gallon of tea on the floor). Then it was nap time to rest up for our night out (which deserves a post of it's own).

Sunday was a day of rest, especially resting and recovering from the night before. The biggest thing of the day was a conference call with my sister and youngest brother ~~ our dad left everything to us in an FLP, with the oldest brother as GM. We think he's been less than honest in his dealings and when we politely asked him for more details, he threw a tantrum and said he wanted out. So now we're trying to come up with a plan that is fair for everyone, and he just keeps pushing and asking for way more than his share is worth. It's frustrating. We don't want to get attorneys involved, but we may have to. And he's the one who will lose everything if we have to do that as he relies solely on the family business for his income while all the rest of us have jobs and just enjoy getting a little extra money during the year.

This past week, I worked everyday, my eye is almost 100% again (just seems to tire easy and my poor overworked right eye does, too), and DH's mother, father, and youngest sister arrived Thursday for a week-long stay.

I hope to get at least one other post up this week....

How things are now

DH and I have I think worked this out. There is no doubt that he overreacts and exaggerates but he is not physically violent, did not call me names (although he has in the past) nor threaten me with any harm other than the potential for separating.

Analyst that I am *grin*, I did some calculations. DH and I have an 'upset' every few months. They usually last for 4-5 days at the most. So figure maybe a month per year when we aren't getting along ~~ this still means that more than 90% of the time we are getting along swimmingly

Of course, while we're in the midst of it, it does seem like the end, and I do use this blog to let feelings out... Sorry for any worries or concerns I caused any of you.

After a few days of not talking except for what was necessary to take care of home and children, late last Friday while in bed watching TV before sleep, we talked it out. He turned to me and expressed that he wanted to get this worked out before he left on his business trip because he didn't want to leave with things still unresolved between us (plus he wanted to have some good make up sex ).

So...

He took a little thing I did out of friendship and instead of immediately asking me about it, let it stew and build in his mind until it was a H-U-G-E issue. And then he erupted. Yelled, screamed, said all sorts of things, and then shut himself off from me. Then he was apparently just waiting for me to apologize...

Thing is, I did apologize during the heated discussion ~~ only he was so worked up, he didn't hear me, at all. Also, my apology was not for what I had done (as there was nothing intrinsically wrong with that), but for not thinking beforehand about how he might feel about it and for the fact that my actions hurt his feelings. I was truly sorry for that.

What it comes down to at the most basic level is that we just do not communicate the same (you'd think we'd have it down after all these years). I prefer to be addressed directly. If you have a concern or have a question, I don't always understand what you're going for if you express it indirectly.

Example: DH says, "That person sure flirts a lot, don't they." I answer, "Yes, they do."  What he's really asking is, "This person flirts a lot. Do they flirt with you? Do you flirt back?"  And I was in trouble for not recognizing the unsaid portion of his question *rolling eyes*

Turns out, he also likes to hear the little details of my interactions, in real life and on-line. Where I'm going, where I've been, who I've talked to, who's talked to me, what we've talked about, etc. And when I don't share and he sees/hears/reads, etc. something I've been up to that I didn't tell him directly, he starts feeling like I'm hiding things from him. Even though I'm not. It's just that some interactions are so brief, and such a small portion of my day, that, while they are important to me, I just don't ever think that they are important enough to always share. Sure, he likes to share details with me about things that happen on his nights out (where he goes, who he talks with, what they talk about, etc.), but I don't ask him to, and quite frankly, I don't really need to hear about it. But, he feels better if he shares, and he also feels that if someone brings it up later and he's already told me about it, I won't feel blindsided.

So, he holds all his worries in until they just erupt and then he says crazy things that he doesn't really mean just to hurt me, but because of my nature, I believe, and then I go a little crazy, too, worrying about my future and our family's future. I've explained this to him, telling him that things would go much better if the moment he finds something that disturbs him, he would just come to me and calmly state the situation, then really listen while I respond. I'm not saying we'd never have disagreements or upsets, but things could definitely be handled better.

I know people have expressed concerns that they see characteristics in how I've described DH that are commonly seen in abusive, controlling people. Possibly... But I'm sure people also see signs of neuroses, depression and all sorts of other things in me, just from what I've written. But these possible characteristics are only a small part of the whole ~~ and most people have small bits of such 'negative' traits in them, they just keep them controlled or hidden so that they rarely if ever appear. And when they do appear, they are only evident for a short while, then get pushed down again.  EVERYONE has issues ~~ some people just handle them better.

Also, I happen to like a little bit of possessiveness and control (hellooo, submissive here ). It makes me feel secure and safe to know that he loves and cares for me so much. And a little rule like communicating/sharing more with him is definitely doable. We spent so many years where we just lived in the same house, when we lived constantly with doubts about our feelings for each other, with no passion, that I can live with the occasional upset ~~ especially when the outcome is that we understand one another better and become closer.

As a closing note, things have been VERY good since we made up. There has been sexting, sexy phone calls, sexy emails, flowers out of the blue, intense D/s activity, lots and lots of sex, and of course TALKING.

Grace

Grace of a day in the life received some very scary news today. She had a biopsy and the results are positive for breast cancer.

Grace and her family need all the prayers and good thoughts we can give them.

~hugs~

Robin

So we survived the holidays. So many days of forced togetherness, as a couple and a family, has been known to take its toll on us. But we made it.

Until I did something, again, that I did out of friendship and niceness, that has angered DH, again.

I have no idea where things go from here, again.

It's clear he cannot accept me as I am, and no matter what I or others say, doesn't feel I can be trusted (I feel like a broken record here, but let me state, once again, that I have NEVER cheated on him, in the real world or on line ~~ and I have never had any desire to).

I have packed up all the toys, stowing them away out of sight ~~ there's no point now at having them at hand in the bedside table.

I have looked into moving out, but I have not been financially wise over the years (just two bills each month that eat up over 1/2 my pay) nor do I make a large salary, and there is no way I can afford a place even just for me. At least not anywhere near here and there is no way I will abandon my children or pull them out of the schools and away from their friends. Our separation would be disruptive enough without all that. He has suggested doing something like Jon & Kate ~~ the kids stay put while we rotate in and out of the house ~~ but I don't see how we could financially swing that. Rent on two places plus the mortgage? How much is a week in a residence hotel...

This is just so hard.  When things are good, they are very good. But then something happens (usually something that seems small to me) and he just loses it. Not physically or violently, but emotionally and mentally. He closes himself off, letting his thoughts run wild and it all festers until it comes exploding out. I've learned that fighting back doesn't help ~~ and I don't like the person I become, the things I say and do when I react to his anger with more anger. It just leads to things getting even more out of control. So I back off, withdraw, give him his space, let him say what he needs to say, only responding to direct questions or to call him out on his exaggerations.

Eventually we get past it, at least on the surface, but each time it gets harder and harder, the wounds are reopened and deepened and don't seem to completely heal. And I relax, start feeling secure in our relationship, then I do something, again.

And sometimes, the information I get from him is conflicting. He tells me it's okay to meet people, but when I start to I'm told 'no not them' or that it's okay only in certain circumstances. I wanted to do NaNoWriMo this year. I went to a couple of group meetings, but was given the 3rd degree each time. He tells me he loves my creativity and that if I want to write I should, but then when I try to take the time to write he gets upset that I am taking the time. So something is okay, until he feels threatened by it, then instead of calmly and clearly stating his change of mind he loses it. Definitely makes things difficult and increases tensions.

I know you get only one side here. Please don't think he's a bad man. He works hard to support us financially, he does cooking and housework, he's intelligent and can be very fun to be with. He tries his best to do what is right for his family.

And, in case you hadn't figured it out, I am not perfect. I am not a good cook and prefer not to cook at all unless I have to. I am not a good housekeeper (although when I was a SAHM I was better) ~~ there are always other things I would rather be doing than cleaning house. I am a bit of a pack rat, but try to keep my stuff in only a few mostly out of sight locations (I am getting better with this, going through things every few months and tossing LOTS, but I don't think it will ever be good enough for him). I can be selfish, unaware, closed off, lazy... I am seriously overweight, but never seem to be able to keep consistently with exercising and healthy eating (emotional and binge eater here).

What it all comes down to.... I don't know. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Just a bunch of miscellaneous stuff

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Microfantasy Monday #58

Okay, not so micro or so much a fantasy as a story, but here you go...

Carl checked his watch again. With traffic the drive home was taking longer than expected, but with any luck he still wouldn't be too late. At least not as late as the last meeting.
Carl slumped down into his seat on the bus. Work had been so stressful lately, ever since the new management with their new processes and procedures had taken over. It seemed that no matter what he did, no matter how many hours he worked, he still couldn't get caught up.
Marie had been patient, so far, but he could see the stresses wearing on her as well. He rarely made it home for dinner lately, and their sex life, well, there wasn't much of one lately. He knew he missed it, missed feeling her body beneath him, missed watching her bottom twitch and redden with each spank, watching her writhe during a flogging. Carl was so tired, his dick didn't even twitch at these erotic thoughts.

As Carl entered the house, he could see the lights downstairs were dimmed. Walking into the kitchen he saw the the foil wrapped plate on the table. Marie was already upstairs, hopefully not sleeping yet, but probably in bed. Carl had no appetite so simply put the plate in the fridge then trudged upstairs.
Marie was in her robe in bed reading. She looked up as he came in.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Another stressful day?"
"Umhmm."
"Why don't you go take a shower before bed. I think it will help you relax."
Carl nodded slightly at this suggestion and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He came back into the bedroom about 15 minutes later, feeling if not truly relaxed, at least a little refreshed and ready to sleep. Until he looked at the bed. Laid out, in orderly fashion, were all their implements ~~ the leather paddle, the wood paddle, a hairbrush, the crop, even a cane.
"Whaaaa____?"
Carl stared at Marie.
"Marie... I know we haven't had any fun of this sort, heck, of any sort, in a while, but really, I just can't do this right now. I barely have the energy to crawl into bed; there's no way I can muster up enough to spank you."
"Oh, Carl, my sweet, stressed out Carl," Marie walked to him and gave him a hug. "These aren't for you to spank me, they're for me to spank you."
Carl started out of her arms and backed away.
"You've been so stressed, and you know how much a good stress relief spanking is for me when I'm so worn out by it all. I thought that perhaps you might find a stress-relief spanking good, too."
"I don't think so... You know I don't consider myself a switch..."
"This isn't about switching... this is about me trying to find some way to help the man I love destress. Please, let's just try it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and we don't ever have to try it again. Please."
Carl looked at Marie and the love and concern were clear. He had no desire to be spanked, never had, but maybe, just maybe it would help. And he knew just being willing to try would make Marie feel better.
"Alright, let's give it a try. I suppose it can't hurt to try."
They both laughed at Carl's little joke. Then he climbed on the bed, positioning himself comfortably over the pillows and waited for Marie to start.

Marie sat on the bed at Carl's side and caressed his bottom. She started slowly and gently with her hand, mixing rubbing and stroking with the spanks. As his bottom started to pink and warm, she began with the leather paddle. Marie paid close attention to Carl's reactions, making sure not to spank too hard.
"Turn your head to face me, Carl."
He did, and Marie watched as she continued with the spanking. Carl's eyes were closed, his mouth relaxed, pursing only with a slightly more painful blow. It was clear he was relaxing.

Marie started to speak softly while continuing the spanking, telling Carl how much she loved him and cared for him, how hard it was for her to see him so distressed, how much she missed being intimate with him, that she would do everything she could think of to help him, to help them, to make things better.
Carl's breath was slow and steady as he opened his teary eyes and looked at her. Slowly he reached a hand up as he turned on his side and took the paddle from her. He shifted off the pillows and guided Marie down next to him. He opened her robe and began to caress her body. Before long Carl had Marie pinned beneath him on the bed as he pounded into her. It wasn't long before Marie screamed in orgasm, and as her pussy clenched tight around his cock, he couldn't hold back any longer and came, too.

After a quick cleanup, a much less stressed Carl and satisfied Marie spooned as they drifted off to sleep.

My birthday

This past Saturday, Dec 5th, was my birthday.

After a day as a family, including lunch at a favorite Indian restaurant with special gulab jamun for dessert, I took a little rest, relaxing and watching TV. DH gave me a wonderful card (and picked out cards for each of the kids to give to me) and some wireless headphones. I got a call from my mom and from my stepmom, and a text from one of my brothers (this will be discussed on another post). A former co-worker, a friend from high school and a few online friends also sent out birthday wishes online.

Just a nice day.

DH and I decided to have our date night.

I showered first. I decided to wear my steel boned corset (which I absolutely love) with black lace thong, jeans and a cardigan. Unfortunately, I had a heck of a time with with the ties and had to have DH help me with them (where's a ladies maid when you need one? *grin*). 

We decided to go to our favorite place. It's a restaurant/pub with an Irish theme. Really nice place, great food, good drinks, reasonable prices. We were able to find seats at the bar, DH's favorite place to sit. Since we were still pretty full from lunch we just had some appetizers ~~ they do these great steak bites that are soooo flavorful and tender..... yum. DH told the bartender that it was my birthday and she treated us to a free shot each. We were there for a few hours, enjoying the food and drinks and watching sports on the TVs. Caught the end of the Texas game...

Since both DH and I had been drinking, when we were ready to head home, we called a cab.  Better to pay a few dollars for a cab then have all the legal and other stresses of a DUI (or worse).

While DH made sure the house was locked up tight, I went upstairs and undressed down to my panties. DH got himself into more comfortable clothing, and we were ready to begin.

After a few kisses and some groping, DH put the collar and cuffs on me, hands in front again. Then he blindfolded me. There is something about being pretty much at his mercy, unable to see, having my hand movements restricted. I have to trust him to maneuver me safely around the room, help me up and down, etc.

Again the throe was laid down in front of the fireplace and DH guided me over to it. Before having me get down on my knees, DH helped himself to my backside, rubbing and applying a few good spanks. Then he moved around in front of me, pushed me down to me knees and I took his cock into my mouth and began to pleasure him. I could tell from his hardness and his moans that he was very much enjoying my attentions. Then he pulled away, muttering something about 'stay there, I'll be right back.' And he was, with crop in hand. Which of course he began to apply to my ass while I continued to suck and lick him. Blows with the crop were occasionally replaced with slaps to my cheeks. Now, to be honest, I don't really care for the face slaps, and I often worry that I will react in a way that could seriously injure DH ~~ but he likes to do it...

In the middle of all this, DH growled down at me 'fantasize about whatever you want.' My mouth being rather full at the time, I couldn't respond out loud, but I couldn't possibly fantasize about anyone or anything at that time as all I was thinking about was being his completely, in whatever way he wanted me to be.

When DH was ready, he helped me up to me feet and led me to the side of the bed. It was flogging time (yay!). Tonight was ass flogging only, even though my hands were in front and my back was available. And flog he did, over and over ~~ I'm sure that just with the flogging alone we well exceeded the 43 and one to grow on called for in a birthday spanking (add in the cropping and hand spanking and we definitely did). But I wasn't counting, and if he was, it wasn't out loud.




DH is getting much better with his aim ~~ and with listening to my reactions. When a hit went awry... too high, too low, too much to the side, too much in the middle, etc.... I would utter an 'ouch' or 'ow' or 'owie' and DH would adjust his swing so as not to (hopefully) hit that area again. To be even more clear, when a flogging blow is just right, the sound I make is some sort of combination of groan/moan/exhale. DH was listening... he was learning which areas and which type of blows were good, and which weren't so good. I'm so proud of him. He really listened in the workshop when the instructor told the tops they needed to pay attention to what the bottoms were telling them ~~ he never used to listen to my suggestions or pointers.

DH continued flogging until my bottom was very red and very hot ~~ as was another area entirely *grin*. Then it was time to get up on the bed... And you know what happened next... the same thing that always happens at this point... and keeps happening while I scream in release into the bedding... and then DH reaches his release... and we collapse in a sweaty, exhausted, blissed out heap onto the bed.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

It now being very late, we did only minimal clean up before collapsing into bed. We snuggled briefly before finally drifting off to sleep.

So, I had a very nice birthday with my hubby.

The 8th was his birthday. It's up to him, but I'm hoping to get his birthday spanking this weekend :-D

Monday, Monday...

After an uneventful weekend, filled with errands and pain (not the good kind, but some chronic pain I've been suffering with), DH took the day off and we had a fun morning.

Now, it's been over two weeks now, so the details are a little fuzzy, but this is what I remember...


While he took YC to school, I jumped in the shower so I could be nice and clean for him. Then while he jumped in the shower, I relaxed and waited for him. I knew he had mentioned something about getting 'things' ready, but not being sure exactly what 'things' he wanted/what his plans were, I decided not to do anything (okay, there was maybe a wee bit of a 'bratting' thing going on, just to see what might happen).

But he came out of the shower in a good mood and the fun began. 

Turns out DH really likes using the collar and cuffs I mentioned in the last post. So they were put on me, hands in the back initially, but then he decided to have them in front. Now, we don't have a strap that goes around the waist, as in the photo on the last post, so I can move my hands around a bit, but I know that when he's put the set on me that I am not supposed to use my hands unless he tells me to. 

The throe went down in front of the fireplace, DH coated his cock with edible oil and gathering my hair in his fist, guided my mouth onto him. I licked, I sucked, I moved fast, I moved slow, I took him deep, I focused solely on the head, I lightly grated my teeth along the length of the shaft (he loves this) ~~ basically, I did everything I know he likes. And I dutifully kept my hands down and off. 


When DH had enough oral attention, he helped me rise and move over to the side of the bed. It was time for DH to practice his flogging skills. And practice he did, on my back and my bottom (this was why he cuffed my hands in front ~~ access to my back). Stingy hits and thuddy ones, over and over, one side and then the other, me never knowing where or when or how the flogger would hit. For some unknown reason, on this day, I was much more sensitive to the pain of the flogging. There were quite a few times when I wasnt sure if I could handle much more, but while I was pondering, the next strike would hit and usually it wasnt as painful as the one before... so I never asked for him to stop.


There was an odd dichotomy to the experience. In the moment, I was not consciously aroused by the flogging, and there was no sensual or erotic touch intermingled with the blows (something DH needs to work on). But I did enjoy it, the sting or thud of the blow , the pain itself, then the rush of warmth through the area just hit. There was also  satisfaction? Pleasure? Pride? I dont know the word(s) to use to describe what I was feeling as I stayed in the position I was placed in and took every blow from DH without more than a wiggle and maybe an "ouch" at a particularly painful blow.


It became clear how much I did enjoy the flogging when DH indicated it was time to move back to the throe so I could give him to some more oral attention. As I straightened up, I felt the moisture flow out of my pussy and coat my inner thighs. I know I get very wet when aroused, but there had been not even one touch to my labia, clit or cunt ~~ just me performing oral on DH and then being flogged by him.


After only a few moments of oral attention, DH maneuvered me back over the side of the bed, up on all fours, and he thrust into me. I was so wet, there was no need for lube. With only a few thrusts, I was coming, loudly. It was late morning, no kids were home, no reason to muffle my cries in pillows or bedding. I felt him pause as he oiled to my bottom, into my crease and around my back entrance. I fully expected there to be anal. And so did DH... Until he got to feeling sooooo good just doing what he was doing that he didn't want to hold back any longer. And he didnt. I could hear the change in his breathing, feel the faster thrusts and increased engorgement of his cock... Then I felt the heat of his come as it filled my pussy and I came again.


I collapsed down on the bed and he laid me beside me, just enjoying the moment as we caught our breath.


Too soon, it was time to get up and get dressed as we both had work to get to. But there is a promise of other week days spent in fun and games.


(note: for some reason, Blogger or something, wouldnt let me use apostrophes... If I can fix it, I will)

"Poly is not contagious"

Since we went to the club, quite a bit has happened. Not all of it good at the time, but we've worked through it.

DH, even though he was interested in getting a membership to the club, was concerned that joining and attending would (not might) lead us to open up our marriage. Part of this came about because I was talking to a poly couple, who while not leaving real close by, live near enough that we could meet. And I would like to meet them ~~ not because I am looking for people to have sex with, but because I would like to have some RL friends to go along with my online ones. 

So there were about 3 days of bitterness as he outlined all the things that he was absolutely sure would happen if we met poly, kinky people in real life, and I kept telling him that while it was okay for him to be concerned and that we should talk about it, I am not interested in anything but friendship and just because you meet people and enjoy their company does not mean you want to sex with them (or they with you). And as one OL friend said, "Poly is not contagious." It took him 3 days to work this all out in his mind; days where he wasn't not always nice and calm as he dwelled on his worries (blowing them all out of proportion as far as I was concerned); days full of angry, bitter, hurtful text messages, including one where he called me a not nice name which I received right as I pulled into work. Well, I dissolved in tears, texted him back, then we spoke on the phone. There was no way I was going to be able to work, so I called my boss from the parking lot, fighting back tears, and left him a message about it being a bad day and I just was not going to be able to work and was heading back home (apparently worrying them all horribly, which was so not my intention).

I got back home and crawled into bed. Along with all the emotional anguish, I could now clearly feel the build up of a migraine. And then DH called, again. But this time, he acknowledged his over reaction, that he was painting things with a certainty that was not certain ~~ that things would happen, that things would go wrong, that we and our marriage were doomed... That while there were possible risks, there was no guarantee that any of the situations he was imagining would actually happen, and as long as when we start feeling worried about things we talk about them (calmly), we would be okay. All this, along with my repeated assurances that I am not looking for anyone else (no matter how much I may fantasize about multiple partners...), straightened everything out.

After a short rest, I was horny... and the sexting began:

me: Any chance you could come home for a quick fuck before the kids get home?
DH: I love too but I was out yesterday and today I came late, took 1 hr lunch. How about tonight? Next week on Wednesday practice flogging when kids are school, I take half day off
DH: Now I am aroused
me: Can I take care of myself then?
       Tonight should work.
       Kids don't have school Wednesday plus MC gets his braces
me: I have my hitachi on my clit and a curved glass toy inside...
DH: Yes go for it.
DH: Now this is not fair teasing
me: Just want to keep your mind focused. You'll be raring to go tonight :)


There was a little more, but nothing racy...


DH came home, there was dinner, housework, getting the kids into bed...


Finally, our time.


First we showered so we would be nice and clean for each other. Then started to set items out. A while ago I bought an inexpensive collar and cuff set, with a strap running down from the collar that the cuffs attached to (found a pic online ~ that is not me). DH got out the flogger, the crop, a paddle, flavored edible oils, I got out the collar/cuffs and the chocolate mint oil...  DH grinned out the sight of the collar/cuffs and put them on me ~~ he especially likes my hands behind my back when I go down on him. 

He stood in front of the fireplace and coated his cock with chocolate mint edible oil while I carefully knelt. I sucked, and licked, and pleasured him in the way he so enjoys. Even, slowly and carefully, taking him deep into my mouth, almost into my throat, at times (this is hard for me as I have a very sensitive gag reflex). Looking up at him, I throatily stated how much I loved his chocolate mint cock. I felt him twitch at my words.


Then, when he'd had enough, he moved to the bed, telling me to stand and come to him. I did, and he had me bend over the edge while he alternately caressed and spanked me. He applied oil and rubbed up against my ass, slipping slightly into me with his rubbing thrusts. Finally, he helped me up onto the bed and with one hard thrust, filled my hungry cunt with his cock. It didn't take long 'til we were both moaning and coming.


I was ready to collapse on the bed, but he wasn't done with me yet. He picked up the flogger and went to work on my ass. Because of the collar and cuffs (my hands were still behind my back) he couldn't flog my back, so he focused on perfecting him aim on my ass. I stood there, bent over the side of the bed, his come and my juices running down my legs as he flogged me ~~ over and over again the lashes hit, sometimes stinging, sometimes thudding... It was incredible. I felt so warm, so ... content to be right where I was, at his mercy as he practiced and practiced...


Ahhh, just remembering now as I write this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, aroused and tingly too.


Once he finished, he removed the collar and cuffs, we cleaned up, then snuggled in bed as we waited for sleep to overtake us.


I slept very well, and went to work the next morning with a smile on my face and happy songs running through my head.

Being Flogged

Flogging ~~ while this can evoke images of shipboard or slave punishment, the ubiquitous cat o' nine tails, strips of flesh removed from the back... I've been more interested in the erotic possibilities.

So, awhile ago, I went on line and purchased a basic leather flogger, not real expensive but not a cheap imitation either. And it's a beautiful blue...

But I couldn't get DH to use it on me, even though I set it out, more than once. I think now that it was because he didn't really know what it was or how to properly use it.

Well.... he knows how now  


I touched on this in my previous post, how DH thought the only reason to go to a club was to play (cheat) with other people. But we talked, I showed him information about the club, brought up that there was this workshop on flogging coming up... And he told me to go ahead and RSVP for it.  So, before either of us could chicken out, I sent in the RSVP.


And even though nervous butterflies started flitting around on Friday and DH complained about being tired on Saturday, off we went. Now, my nerves were more because I'm an extreme introvert who finds any unfamiliar social situation to be incredibly difficult, not because I was afraid we were heading into a horrible situation. DH's discomfort was because he was uncertain of what we were potentially getting into.


We arrived too late for the tour (someone thought it would take only a half hour to get there, while I thought an hour+ ~~ guess who was right). So too late for the tour, we just had a few minutes to get some water, glance in the various rooms, then head in for the workshop.


The presenters were a Master and slave who have been in the lifestyle for many years, and he in particular has been doing flogging workshops for years.  They immediately put everyone at ease with their humor and casualness ~~ even DH (who initially had continued to comment on how uncomfortable he was). Although DH had to put a spin on it as he noted to me that the presenter bore a physical and vocal resemblance to my father... A little weird, but I was able to get past it...


After about a half an hour spent talking about flogging in general and passing out about 3 dozen different floggers for everyone to check out, we paired up and prepared to practice the first technique. I don't know what it is actually called, but I'll call it the Archer. The flogger stands as though they are aiming a bow and arrow, pulling the lashes taut and then releasing. 

I started by just removing my shirt and bra ~~ it was mentioned that the flogger hitting the bra could cause bruising and I didn't want that. I hadn't know that undressing would be a possibility and I made extra sure DH was okay with it before I removed any clothing. It was interesting to look around and see all the variations. Some people did not remove any clothing, most men if they were going to be flogged removed only their shirts, some women removed shirts but left bras on, others stripped top only, while others left panties on, and some undressed completely. You need to understand that I am very uncomfortable with my body, being overweight and out of shape; I don't like to see myself in a mirror, in pictures or in video. But it felt perfectly naturally there, not only to strip down, but to stand there with almost no clothes on and chat with the people, male and female, who were near us.


Anyway, back to the flogging itself. DH really took to this, practicing a lot on my back. And this was a chance for me to be vocal and guiding as I let him know if his aim was too high, too low, too much to the center, too far to the edge, etc. The stance and the way you hold your elbow is critical to getting the aim just right. One of the presenters came round to  help each pairing with their technique. 


After making sure everybody got a chance with a presenter, it was back to the main room to learn another technique. This one calls for the flogger to face the floggee straight on, flip the flogger over their back, point the elbow towards the floggee, and swing the flogger over and down onto the floggee. 


Back to our spot, where this time not only were shirt and bra off, but pants were removed as well (I did, for some reason, balk at removing my panties, even though DH suggested it). And DH flogged me some more, back and bottom, but mostly back.


There is a marked difference in the feel of the two techniques. The first is very sting-y, as it is mainly the tips of the lashes that are connecting with the skin, while the second is much more of a deep thud because it is more the length of the lashes that impact. I like the 2nd better ~~ that deep thud sinks in and becomes a spreading warmth that moves out beyond the impact area. Ooooohhhh, it felt so good. I was really sinking into it, enjoying it so much ~~ the young gentleman next to me asked if I was okay, as I just stood there taking blow after blow. Done just right, wow... What an incredible sensation.


I have to add that DH did let me try it on him ~~ once *wicked grin*. He yelped and that was the end of that. But that's okay as I can't ever see myself topping him.


Unfortunately, there wasn't time to learn any other techniques, but we're happy with what we did learn. We talked about it continuously through the rest of the evening ~~ the drive home, while eating out, before and after the movie, later in bed...  My back stayed warm and tingly for hours after.


The next day, my back did get stiff and sore, but marking was minimal ~~ mostly these odd little round spots here and there.


DH ultimately had such a good time, not just with the flogging but also seeing all the undressed women and watching the different couples interact, and seeing all the equipment there, that we are probably going to get a membership. I don't know how often we'd go ~~ maybe just once a month as it is a pretty good drive to get there ~~ but it's a great chance to observe and learn new things to try, in the club or at home (mostly at home, I think).