Just a bunch of miscellaneous stuff

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Microfantasy Monday #58

Okay, not so micro or so much a fantasy as a story, but here you go...

Carl checked his watch again. With traffic the drive home was taking longer than expected, but with any luck he still wouldn't be too late. At least not as late as the last meeting.
Carl slumped down into his seat on the bus. Work had been so stressful lately, ever since the new management with their new processes and procedures had taken over. It seemed that no matter what he did, no matter how many hours he worked, he still couldn't get caught up.
Marie had been patient, so far, but he could see the stresses wearing on her as well. He rarely made it home for dinner lately, and their sex life, well, there wasn't much of one lately. He knew he missed it, missed feeling her body beneath him, missed watching her bottom twitch and redden with each spank, watching her writhe during a flogging. Carl was so tired, his dick didn't even twitch at these erotic thoughts.

As Carl entered the house, he could see the lights downstairs were dimmed. Walking into the kitchen he saw the the foil wrapped plate on the table. Marie was already upstairs, hopefully not sleeping yet, but probably in bed. Carl had no appetite so simply put the plate in the fridge then trudged upstairs.
Marie was in her robe in bed reading. She looked up as he came in.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Another stressful day?"
"Umhmm."
"Why don't you go take a shower before bed. I think it will help you relax."
Carl nodded slightly at this suggestion and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He came back into the bedroom about 15 minutes later, feeling if not truly relaxed, at least a little refreshed and ready to sleep. Until he looked at the bed. Laid out, in orderly fashion, were all their implements ~~ the leather paddle, the wood paddle, a hairbrush, the crop, even a cane.
"Whaaaa____?"
Carl stared at Marie.
"Marie... I know we haven't had any fun of this sort, heck, of any sort, in a while, but really, I just can't do this right now. I barely have the energy to crawl into bed; there's no way I can muster up enough to spank you."
"Oh, Carl, my sweet, stressed out Carl," Marie walked to him and gave him a hug. "These aren't for you to spank me, they're for me to spank you."
Carl started out of her arms and backed away.
"You've been so stressed, and you know how much a good stress relief spanking is for me when I'm so worn out by it all. I thought that perhaps you might find a stress-relief spanking good, too."
"I don't think so... You know I don't consider myself a switch..."
"This isn't about switching... this is about me trying to find some way to help the man I love destress. Please, let's just try it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and we don't ever have to try it again. Please."
Carl looked at Marie and the love and concern were clear. He had no desire to be spanked, never had, but maybe, just maybe it would help. And he knew just being willing to try would make Marie feel better.
"Alright, let's give it a try. I suppose it can't hurt to try."
They both laughed at Carl's little joke. Then he climbed on the bed, positioning himself comfortably over the pillows and waited for Marie to start.

Marie sat on the bed at Carl's side and caressed his bottom. She started slowly and gently with her hand, mixing rubbing and stroking with the spanks. As his bottom started to pink and warm, she began with the leather paddle. Marie paid close attention to Carl's reactions, making sure not to spank too hard.
"Turn your head to face me, Carl."
He did, and Marie watched as she continued with the spanking. Carl's eyes were closed, his mouth relaxed, pursing only with a slightly more painful blow. It was clear he was relaxing.

Marie started to speak softly while continuing the spanking, telling Carl how much she loved him and cared for him, how hard it was for her to see him so distressed, how much she missed being intimate with him, that she would do everything she could think of to help him, to help them, to make things better.
Carl's breath was slow and steady as he opened his teary eyes and looked at her. Slowly he reached a hand up as he turned on his side and took the paddle from her. He shifted off the pillows and guided Marie down next to him. He opened her robe and began to caress her body. Before long Carl had Marie pinned beneath him on the bed as he pounded into her. It wasn't long before Marie screamed in orgasm, and as her pussy clenched tight around his cock, he couldn't hold back any longer and came, too.

After a quick cleanup, a much less stressed Carl and satisfied Marie spooned as they drifted off to sleep.

My birthday

This past Saturday, Dec 5th, was my birthday.

After a day as a family, including lunch at a favorite Indian restaurant with special gulab jamun for dessert, I took a little rest, relaxing and watching TV. DH gave me a wonderful card (and picked out cards for each of the kids to give to me) and some wireless headphones. I got a call from my mom and from my stepmom, and a text from one of my brothers (this will be discussed on another post). A former co-worker, a friend from high school and a few online friends also sent out birthday wishes online.

Just a nice day.

DH and I decided to have our date night.

I showered first. I decided to wear my steel boned corset (which I absolutely love) with black lace thong, jeans and a cardigan. Unfortunately, I had a heck of a time with with the ties and had to have DH help me with them (where's a ladies maid when you need one? *grin*). 

We decided to go to our favorite place. It's a restaurant/pub with an Irish theme. Really nice place, great food, good drinks, reasonable prices. We were able to find seats at the bar, DH's favorite place to sit. Since we were still pretty full from lunch we just had some appetizers ~~ they do these great steak bites that are soooo flavorful and tender..... yum. DH told the bartender that it was my birthday and she treated us to a free shot each. We were there for a few hours, enjoying the food and drinks and watching sports on the TVs. Caught the end of the Texas game...

Since both DH and I had been drinking, when we were ready to head home, we called a cab.  Better to pay a few dollars for a cab then have all the legal and other stresses of a DUI (or worse).

While DH made sure the house was locked up tight, I went upstairs and undressed down to my panties. DH got himself into more comfortable clothing, and we were ready to begin.

After a few kisses and some groping, DH put the collar and cuffs on me, hands in front again. Then he blindfolded me. There is something about being pretty much at his mercy, unable to see, having my hand movements restricted. I have to trust him to maneuver me safely around the room, help me up and down, etc.

Again the throe was laid down in front of the fireplace and DH guided me over to it. Before having me get down on my knees, DH helped himself to my backside, rubbing and applying a few good spanks. Then he moved around in front of me, pushed me down to me knees and I took his cock into my mouth and began to pleasure him. I could tell from his hardness and his moans that he was very much enjoying my attentions. Then he pulled away, muttering something about 'stay there, I'll be right back.' And he was, with crop in hand. Which of course he began to apply to my ass while I continued to suck and lick him. Blows with the crop were occasionally replaced with slaps to my cheeks. Now, to be honest, I don't really care for the face slaps, and I often worry that I will react in a way that could seriously injure DH ~~ but he likes to do it...

In the middle of all this, DH growled down at me 'fantasize about whatever you want.' My mouth being rather full at the time, I couldn't respond out loud, but I couldn't possibly fantasize about anyone or anything at that time as all I was thinking about was being his completely, in whatever way he wanted me to be.

When DH was ready, he helped me up to me feet and led me to the side of the bed. It was flogging time (yay!). Tonight was ass flogging only, even though my hands were in front and my back was available. And flog he did, over and over ~~ I'm sure that just with the flogging alone we well exceeded the 43 and one to grow on called for in a birthday spanking (add in the cropping and hand spanking and we definitely did). But I wasn't counting, and if he was, it wasn't out loud.




DH is getting much better with his aim ~~ and with listening to my reactions. When a hit went awry... too high, too low, too much to the side, too much in the middle, etc.... I would utter an 'ouch' or 'ow' or 'owie' and DH would adjust his swing so as not to (hopefully) hit that area again. To be even more clear, when a flogging blow is just right, the sound I make is some sort of combination of groan/moan/exhale. DH was listening... he was learning which areas and which type of blows were good, and which weren't so good. I'm so proud of him. He really listened in the workshop when the instructor told the tops they needed to pay attention to what the bottoms were telling them ~~ he never used to listen to my suggestions or pointers.

DH continued flogging until my bottom was very red and very hot ~~ as was another area entirely *grin*. Then it was time to get up on the bed... And you know what happened next... the same thing that always happens at this point... and keeps happening while I scream in release into the bedding... and then DH reaches his release... and we collapse in a sweaty, exhausted, blissed out heap onto the bed.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

It now being very late, we did only minimal clean up before collapsing into bed. We snuggled briefly before finally drifting off to sleep.

So, I had a very nice birthday with my hubby.

The 8th was his birthday. It's up to him, but I'm hoping to get his birthday spanking this weekend :-D

Monday, Monday...

After an uneventful weekend, filled with errands and pain (not the good kind, but some chronic pain I've been suffering with), DH took the day off and we had a fun morning.

Now, it's been over two weeks now, so the details are a little fuzzy, but this is what I remember...


While he took YC to school, I jumped in the shower so I could be nice and clean for him. Then while he jumped in the shower, I relaxed and waited for him. I knew he had mentioned something about getting 'things' ready, but not being sure exactly what 'things' he wanted/what his plans were, I decided not to do anything (okay, there was maybe a wee bit of a 'bratting' thing going on, just to see what might happen).

But he came out of the shower in a good mood and the fun began. 

Turns out DH really likes using the collar and cuffs I mentioned in the last post. So they were put on me, hands in the back initially, but then he decided to have them in front. Now, we don't have a strap that goes around the waist, as in the photo on the last post, so I can move my hands around a bit, but I know that when he's put the set on me that I am not supposed to use my hands unless he tells me to. 

The throe went down in front of the fireplace, DH coated his cock with edible oil and gathering my hair in his fist, guided my mouth onto him. I licked, I sucked, I moved fast, I moved slow, I took him deep, I focused solely on the head, I lightly grated my teeth along the length of the shaft (he loves this) ~~ basically, I did everything I know he likes. And I dutifully kept my hands down and off. 


When DH had enough oral attention, he helped me rise and move over to the side of the bed. It was time for DH to practice his flogging skills. And practice he did, on my back and my bottom (this was why he cuffed my hands in front ~~ access to my back). Stingy hits and thuddy ones, over and over, one side and then the other, me never knowing where or when or how the flogger would hit. For some unknown reason, on this day, I was much more sensitive to the pain of the flogging. There were quite a few times when I wasnt sure if I could handle much more, but while I was pondering, the next strike would hit and usually it wasnt as painful as the one before... so I never asked for him to stop.


There was an odd dichotomy to the experience. In the moment, I was not consciously aroused by the flogging, and there was no sensual or erotic touch intermingled with the blows (something DH needs to work on). But I did enjoy it, the sting or thud of the blow , the pain itself, then the rush of warmth through the area just hit. There was also  satisfaction? Pleasure? Pride? I dont know the word(s) to use to describe what I was feeling as I stayed in the position I was placed in and took every blow from DH without more than a wiggle and maybe an "ouch" at a particularly painful blow.


It became clear how much I did enjoy the flogging when DH indicated it was time to move back to the throe so I could give him to some more oral attention. As I straightened up, I felt the moisture flow out of my pussy and coat my inner thighs. I know I get very wet when aroused, but there had been not even one touch to my labia, clit or cunt ~~ just me performing oral on DH and then being flogged by him.


After only a few moments of oral attention, DH maneuvered me back over the side of the bed, up on all fours, and he thrust into me. I was so wet, there was no need for lube. With only a few thrusts, I was coming, loudly. It was late morning, no kids were home, no reason to muffle my cries in pillows or bedding. I felt him pause as he oiled to my bottom, into my crease and around my back entrance. I fully expected there to be anal. And so did DH... Until he got to feeling sooooo good just doing what he was doing that he didn't want to hold back any longer. And he didnt. I could hear the change in his breathing, feel the faster thrusts and increased engorgement of his cock... Then I felt the heat of his come as it filled my pussy and I came again.


I collapsed down on the bed and he laid me beside me, just enjoying the moment as we caught our breath.


Too soon, it was time to get up and get dressed as we both had work to get to. But there is a promise of other week days spent in fun and games.


(note: for some reason, Blogger or something, wouldnt let me use apostrophes... If I can fix it, I will)

"Poly is not contagious"

Since we went to the club, quite a bit has happened. Not all of it good at the time, but we've worked through it.

DH, even though he was interested in getting a membership to the club, was concerned that joining and attending would (not might) lead us to open up our marriage. Part of this came about because I was talking to a poly couple, who while not leaving real close by, live near enough that we could meet. And I would like to meet them ~~ not because I am looking for people to have sex with, but because I would like to have some RL friends to go along with my online ones. 

So there were about 3 days of bitterness as he outlined all the things that he was absolutely sure would happen if we met poly, kinky people in real life, and I kept telling him that while it was okay for him to be concerned and that we should talk about it, I am not interested in anything but friendship and just because you meet people and enjoy their company does not mean you want to sex with them (or they with you). And as one OL friend said, "Poly is not contagious." It took him 3 days to work this all out in his mind; days where he wasn't not always nice and calm as he dwelled on his worries (blowing them all out of proportion as far as I was concerned); days full of angry, bitter, hurtful text messages, including one where he called me a not nice name which I received right as I pulled into work. Well, I dissolved in tears, texted him back, then we spoke on the phone. There was no way I was going to be able to work, so I called my boss from the parking lot, fighting back tears, and left him a message about it being a bad day and I just was not going to be able to work and was heading back home (apparently worrying them all horribly, which was so not my intention).

I got back home and crawled into bed. Along with all the emotional anguish, I could now clearly feel the build up of a migraine. And then DH called, again. But this time, he acknowledged his over reaction, that he was painting things with a certainty that was not certain ~~ that things would happen, that things would go wrong, that we and our marriage were doomed... That while there were possible risks, there was no guarantee that any of the situations he was imagining would actually happen, and as long as when we start feeling worried about things we talk about them (calmly), we would be okay. All this, along with my repeated assurances that I am not looking for anyone else (no matter how much I may fantasize about multiple partners...), straightened everything out.

After a short rest, I was horny... and the sexting began:

me: Any chance you could come home for a quick fuck before the kids get home?
DH: I love too but I was out yesterday and today I came late, took 1 hr lunch. How about tonight? Next week on Wednesday practice flogging when kids are school, I take half day off
DH: Now I am aroused
me: Can I take care of myself then?
       Tonight should work.
       Kids don't have school Wednesday plus MC gets his braces
me: I have my hitachi on my clit and a curved glass toy inside...
DH: Yes go for it.
DH: Now this is not fair teasing
me: Just want to keep your mind focused. You'll be raring to go tonight :)


There was a little more, but nothing racy...


DH came home, there was dinner, housework, getting the kids into bed...


Finally, our time.


First we showered so we would be nice and clean for each other. Then started to set items out. A while ago I bought an inexpensive collar and cuff set, with a strap running down from the collar that the cuffs attached to (found a pic online ~ that is not me). DH got out the flogger, the crop, a paddle, flavored edible oils, I got out the collar/cuffs and the chocolate mint oil...  DH grinned out the sight of the collar/cuffs and put them on me ~~ he especially likes my hands behind my back when I go down on him. 

He stood in front of the fireplace and coated his cock with chocolate mint edible oil while I carefully knelt. I sucked, and licked, and pleasured him in the way he so enjoys. Even, slowly and carefully, taking him deep into my mouth, almost into my throat, at times (this is hard for me as I have a very sensitive gag reflex). Looking up at him, I throatily stated how much I loved his chocolate mint cock. I felt him twitch at my words.


Then, when he'd had enough, he moved to the bed, telling me to stand and come to him. I did, and he had me bend over the edge while he alternately caressed and spanked me. He applied oil and rubbed up against my ass, slipping slightly into me with his rubbing thrusts. Finally, he helped me up onto the bed and with one hard thrust, filled my hungry cunt with his cock. It didn't take long 'til we were both moaning and coming.


I was ready to collapse on the bed, but he wasn't done with me yet. He picked up the flogger and went to work on my ass. Because of the collar and cuffs (my hands were still behind my back) he couldn't flog my back, so he focused on perfecting him aim on my ass. I stood there, bent over the side of the bed, his come and my juices running down my legs as he flogged me ~~ over and over again the lashes hit, sometimes stinging, sometimes thudding... It was incredible. I felt so warm, so ... content to be right where I was, at his mercy as he practiced and practiced...


Ahhh, just remembering now as I write this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, aroused and tingly too.


Once he finished, he removed the collar and cuffs, we cleaned up, then snuggled in bed as we waited for sleep to overtake us.


I slept very well, and went to work the next morning with a smile on my face and happy songs running through my head.

Being Flogged

Flogging ~~ while this can evoke images of shipboard or slave punishment, the ubiquitous cat o' nine tails, strips of flesh removed from the back... I've been more interested in the erotic possibilities.

So, awhile ago, I went on line and purchased a basic leather flogger, not real expensive but not a cheap imitation either. And it's a beautiful blue...

But I couldn't get DH to use it on me, even though I set it out, more than once. I think now that it was because he didn't really know what it was or how to properly use it.

Well.... he knows how now  


I touched on this in my previous post, how DH thought the only reason to go to a club was to play (cheat) with other people. But we talked, I showed him information about the club, brought up that there was this workshop on flogging coming up... And he told me to go ahead and RSVP for it.  So, before either of us could chicken out, I sent in the RSVP.


And even though nervous butterflies started flitting around on Friday and DH complained about being tired on Saturday, off we went. Now, my nerves were more because I'm an extreme introvert who finds any unfamiliar social situation to be incredibly difficult, not because I was afraid we were heading into a horrible situation. DH's discomfort was because he was uncertain of what we were potentially getting into.


We arrived too late for the tour (someone thought it would take only a half hour to get there, while I thought an hour+ ~~ guess who was right). So too late for the tour, we just had a few minutes to get some water, glance in the various rooms, then head in for the workshop.


The presenters were a Master and slave who have been in the lifestyle for many years, and he in particular has been doing flogging workshops for years.  They immediately put everyone at ease with their humor and casualness ~~ even DH (who initially had continued to comment on how uncomfortable he was). Although DH had to put a spin on it as he noted to me that the presenter bore a physical and vocal resemblance to my father... A little weird, but I was able to get past it...


After about a half an hour spent talking about flogging in general and passing out about 3 dozen different floggers for everyone to check out, we paired up and prepared to practice the first technique. I don't know what it is actually called, but I'll call it the Archer. The flogger stands as though they are aiming a bow and arrow, pulling the lashes taut and then releasing. 

I started by just removing my shirt and bra ~~ it was mentioned that the flogger hitting the bra could cause bruising and I didn't want that. I hadn't know that undressing would be a possibility and I made extra sure DH was okay with it before I removed any clothing. It was interesting to look around and see all the variations. Some people did not remove any clothing, most men if they were going to be flogged removed only their shirts, some women removed shirts but left bras on, others stripped top only, while others left panties on, and some undressed completely. You need to understand that I am very uncomfortable with my body, being overweight and out of shape; I don't like to see myself in a mirror, in pictures or in video. But it felt perfectly naturally there, not only to strip down, but to stand there with almost no clothes on and chat with the people, male and female, who were near us.


Anyway, back to the flogging itself. DH really took to this, practicing a lot on my back. And this was a chance for me to be vocal and guiding as I let him know if his aim was too high, too low, too much to the center, too far to the edge, etc. The stance and the way you hold your elbow is critical to getting the aim just right. One of the presenters came round to  help each pairing with their technique. 


After making sure everybody got a chance with a presenter, it was back to the main room to learn another technique. This one calls for the flogger to face the floggee straight on, flip the flogger over their back, point the elbow towards the floggee, and swing the flogger over and down onto the floggee. 


Back to our spot, where this time not only were shirt and bra off, but pants were removed as well (I did, for some reason, balk at removing my panties, even though DH suggested it). And DH flogged me some more, back and bottom, but mostly back.


There is a marked difference in the feel of the two techniques. The first is very sting-y, as it is mainly the tips of the lashes that are connecting with the skin, while the second is much more of a deep thud because it is more the length of the lashes that impact. I like the 2nd better ~~ that deep thud sinks in and becomes a spreading warmth that moves out beyond the impact area. Ooooohhhh, it felt so good. I was really sinking into it, enjoying it so much ~~ the young gentleman next to me asked if I was okay, as I just stood there taking blow after blow. Done just right, wow... What an incredible sensation.


I have to add that DH did let me try it on him ~~ once *wicked grin*. He yelped and that was the end of that. But that's okay as I can't ever see myself topping him.


Unfortunately, there wasn't time to learn any other techniques, but we're happy with what we did learn. We talked about it continuously through the rest of the evening ~~ the drive home, while eating out, before and after the movie, later in bed...  My back stayed warm and tingly for hours after.


The next day, my back did get stiff and sore, but marking was minimal ~~ mostly these odd little round spots here and there.


DH ultimately had such a good time, not just with the flogging but also seeing all the undressed women and watching the different couples interact, and seeing all the equipment there, that we are probably going to get a membership. I don't know how often we'd go ~~ maybe just once a month as it is a pretty good drive to get there ~~ but it's a great chance to observe and learn new things to try, in the club or at home (mostly at home, I think).

Catching up on things

Love Our Lurkers Day revisited ~~
As usual, life just took over and I've neglected to get on here and thank all the lovely people who took the time to comment and email on LOL Day (agh, almost a month ago? I think someone (me) needs to be punished )

So, here's a special big to:

• Ian 
• The Pink Poppet 
• Grace 
• Todd & Suzy 
• Hermione 
• Recidavist 
• Bonnie 
• Padme 
• Dragonmage 
• Jay Walker 
• Dave the Rave
• Prefectdt  
• Anonymous

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I say I write primarily for my own sake, but it gives me the warm fuzzies to know that others like to come here and read what I write.

And, I did try, a few days late, to get out there and delurk myself. I made it to a few blogs, but if you read here and you know I read your blog (I do sometimes leave comments) and I didn't pop by for LOL day... . I tried, I really did, but it just got a little overwhelming. There are so many wonderful blogs out there, and I have more on my reader than are even over on my blogroll (obviously updates are needed) and unfortunately I just couldn't make it to everyone. 

(#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#)

What I've ordered ~~

 

Went online and searched some manufacturers and various retail sites. Ultimately, I placed an order on Liberator.com . I knew for certain that I wanted a Fascinator Throe, and I found that not only do they sell their own Liberator products but items from several other manufacturers as well (Lelo, Tantus, nJoy, to name a few). And I love one-stop shopping. 

 

So along with a blue microfiber throe (because 'things' can and do get messy when we play), I ordered a medium nJoy Pure Plug, Lelo Luna Beads, a deep rose Lelo Gigi, a green Naughtibod, and Kama Sutra Love Liquid lube. And free with my order, I'm getting a Love Artist kit (I have no idea what this consists of as I didn't check out the details). With all the research I did (umm, all the sites I looked at), the prices on Liberator.com do seem comparable with other sites, and most of their items were advertised as being on sale. Once I get my new toys, and find the time to try them out, by myself and hopefully with hubby's help, I'll try to get on here and let you know what I think.

 

(#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#)

 

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009 ~~

 

Not sure how it happened... But I ended up on this year's list! Head on over to Between My Sheets and check it out. I'm way down at #86, but I'm on there. I want to take this chance to thank Rori, all her helpers, and anyone who nominated me. I'm incredibly honored and flattered by the recognition. 

Now, if I can just live up to this...

(#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#) * (#)(#)

 

Sit down, hold on to your hats ~~

 

DH and I are going to check out a BDSM club. 

 

I heard all those gasps . I'm surprised too.

 

We live in a far suburb of a big city. So the club isn't in our town, but in the big city.  Monthly they hold a social for people who are not members but are curious and they frequently hold classes as well. So we're planning on the social and a class on flogging. We have no plans on joining the club, and we may find ourselves too uncomfortable to complete the tour or the class. But we're going to try. 

 

This big adventure came about because of an email I sent a friend (a whiny, complaining email) that DH managed to get a hold of, plus her response. (It was some weird thing with his first gen iPhone picking up all my email accts and allowing him access to them. He's since changed to the 2nd gen iPhone and the problem seems to be gone.) 

 

So, we talked a lot. 

 

One of the things I had mentioned in my email was that because we live near a big city, there are all sorts of resources for exploring, understanding, taking classes, etc. But he apparently wasn't willing or interested in checking things out. Well, turns out, he thought my interest was to meet other people, perhaps to play (or more) with. Do you have any idea how many times I've told him I am not interested in that. Yes, we've talked about an open marriage, but he's not comfortable with that, and so it stays on my fantasy list. And, as I keep telling him, that is perfectly fine with me. I will follow his lead. It's what I do, good little subbie that I am (sometimes ).

I just want us to take what opportunities we can to learn about what we like and dislike and how to do things PROPERLY (DH has a tendency to make what is supposed to be an erotic spanking feel more like a discipline spanking ~~ and he won't take pointers from me). There's only so much you can learn from books, the Internet, and porn. At least that's true for me ~~ I like up close, in person, hands on learning experiences. 

 

 

So, maybe I'll have some new and interesting things to share here in the near future.

What to buy?

So, say you come into a little bit of extra money, not a lot, just a couple of hundred, and you want to add to your "toy" collection... What would you get?

Do I get something from Lelo? NJoy? Liberator? Eroscilator?... Vibrator? Dildo?Plug? Nipple Clamps?....

There are just so many things to choose from, that I'd like to narrow it down a bit.

I need ideas, friends. What would you recommend, what would you get for yourself? Why that particular item?

Email me or leave a comment.

Thank you.

Love Our Lurkers Day!

Thanks, again, to Bonnie over at My Bottom Smarts for organizing LOL Day.

I'm guessing, hoping that I've got more than 1 reader still out there, and if so, probably a handful of lurkers... Maybe?

Anyway, if you read this blog, lurker or not, please leave me a comment today letting me know.

I sincerely appreciate everyone who reads, whether they comment or email me or not, and I want to take the chance today to say a great big

Certain Photos

Microfantasy Monday ~~ Thanks to Ang over at Sweltering Celt

Lindsay saw the envelope stuck under the windshield wiper as soon as she left the store. She slowed and glanced around but didn't see anyone obviously watching her or the car.

She put the groceries in the car, removed the envelope then got in. Lindsay knew she shouldn't open the envelope ~ it probably wasn't for her as she was driving a friend's car ~ but curiosity overruled her hesitation. She examined it closely ~ there were no marks of any sort, no writing, no indication of who it was for, or who it might be from. It was just your standard Manila envelope.

Lindsay opened the envelope, tilted it, and caught the stack of photos that slid out. All were 8x10, full color, high def, close ups as well as well as ones that took in the entire scene.

And scene it was. Lindsay fought to hold back the laughter, for front and center in each photo was George, the husband of her best friend and neighbor Cindy. And George was not alone; George was enthusiastically taking part in what appeared to be a men only orgy. Well, she and Cindy had wondered about George for years, and here was the proof.

Someone had obviously recognized Cindy's car, they just hadn't realized Cindy wasn't driving it.

Lindsay knew she'd share the photos with Cindy, the only question was when ~~ before or after they fucked each other senseless.

*hugs*
Robin

Nothing good to share

As you've probably noticed, once again I haven't been around for awhile.
Basically, there's been nothing good, fun, funny, exciting to write about because there's been very little good, fun, funny, or exciting going on in my life.
So I've taken the stance, to paraphrase Thumper's mother, that if I haven't got anything good to say, I just won't say anything at all.
I didn't start this blog as a place to complain and that's not what I want it to become, so for now, I'm not likely to be posting anything here.
Should circumstances change... Well, I'm not holding my breath.


*hugs*
Robin

My Son

To start off, let me just clearly state that I love my son dearly. We can talk about anything under the sun, we have similar senses of humor, enjoy the same sorts of movies, TV shows, books, games, etc.

However.....

At 14 years of age, he is proving to be more and more aggravating and worrisome. He hasn't done any BIG bad things, just a little thing here, a small thing there... Not coming home when he's supposed to, not being where he said he was going to be (with friend B, not friend A, etc.), doesn't answer his phone when we call. Little things.

Then this weekend, there was a festival in town, the last big 'party' of the summer. We let him go with some friends, he came home when he was supposed to, everything seemed fine.

Until he breathed on his dad and there was the unmistakable stench of cigarette on his breath. And he lied about it, to his dad and to me. Until we clearly explained that just being near people who are smoking would not concentrate the smell on his breath but not his clothing. So he 'fessed up that he took a couple of puffs from a stranger's cigarette.

He's on restriction now (can't go to friends homes or out with friends, but they can come here, staying in our house and yard or out in the court), after being talked to by DH and I together and separately. No yelling or screaming, not even by DH, just calm talking about how dangerous such activities are, how trying one thing just to try it or attempt to fit in could lead to more and more dangerous choices, how much heartache there would be if he got involved in said activities. He was tearing up as I talked to him about how much we loved him and how hurt we would be if he tried drugs or alcohol or any other illegal and dangerous activities. That we were only doing these things because we love him.

He's not happy with the restriction. We're all prepared for the whining and complaining he's going to be putting out there until we lift it. I have told him that if his attitude gets too bad, the restriction will become a complete grounding and he will lose his phone and Internet privileges and won't be allowed to have friends over. We'll have to see how he does.

And, this brings us to today. YC was complaining about not feeling well this morning, so I wanted to take her temperature. A couple of weeks ago, I asked MC to put a thermometer in the kids bathroom ~~ guess what? Not there.

So I looked in OC's room ~~ found papers she was supposed to turn into school, but no thermometer and nothing else that shouldn't be there. And I wasn't really digging, just looked on her desk, on her bedside table, in a desk drawer.

Next stop, MC's room. And there I found MY calligraphy set with all the ink cartridges empty; MY scissors; MY desk organizing box; a bottle of dried oregano (?); knife/scissor sharpener; and the real concern ~~ MY book Breaking the Girl (which I found in the bookcase at the head of his bed).

And so you know, I do not just leave my 'special' books lying around for anyone to see, find, take. They are tucked into cases, onto shelves, behind other vanilla books. Places where they won't be easily seen or found, all in my room. And yet, he had this book in his room....

So, now all those things are sitting on the end of my bed, waiting for him to come home so I can discuss with him how inappropriate it is for a 14 year old to take things from his parents room. I know it's one of those subjects that is unequal ~~ I can search through his room, he can't search through mine ~~ but he's got to understand how wrong it is to take anything from my room, but especially to take a book like that. Aaaggghhh.

Now I can't help but wondering what else he might have stashed away in there that I didn't see. Yeah, it's going to be a wonderful afternoon.

A bit of this and that...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I've been tagged!

My new friend Pink Poppet (http://thepinkpoppet.wordpress.com) tagged me to do a meme.

I am supposed to list ten things about myself that are true and you may not know about. Gah. Trying to come up with ten hopefully interesting things is going to be difficult.

1) I was born in Landstuhl, Germany because my dad was stationed there with the U.S. Army. Landstuhl is where the large military hospital is, you know, the one where all the soldiers injured in Iraq and Afghanistan go. When I was born there, however, it was not a big fancy hospital. Mom tells me it was an old building and she could see areas on the walls where it looked like they had tried to sandblast swastikas off. I have had repeated problems with government people questioning my citizenship because of my place of birth, even after providing them with copies of my "Report of US Citizen Born Abroad", certificate from the State Dept, and my passport. One obnoxious woman even asked me how long I'd been a citizen. With an incredulous look, I answered "since birth."

2) When I was 16 I travelled by myself to Germany and Denmark. I stayed with family friends (and their friends) in Germany, and actual family in Denmark. It was an incredible experience. And no one warned me about the beaches! We went to a small lake and some people were competely nude, and then went to a beach on the North Sea ~~ changing in to swimsuits out in the open, topless bathing... A lot for a girl from a conservative small town to take in. I stayed quite a few places in Germany ~~ Ehlershausen, Bredstedt, Kiel, Hamburg; then took the train to Copenhagen, where I stayed with cousins in a suburb. Did lots of bike riding, walking, topless laying out.... I'd love to go back someday.

3) I am the oldest of four siblings. In many ways, I am your typical oldest child, but I am so not the natural born leader first borns are so often described as. I will if I absolutely have to, but I would much rather not. My siblings are conservative Republicans and religious (Mormons) ~~ I am moderate, non-partisan, and not religious (but very spiritual). Getting together can be uncomfortable to say the least. And that's without any discussions of sex and sensuality. Although that helps explain all the repression in my life.

4) I am not a good liar. I don't even like to lie, but I will do the small white lie to make things easier (yes, I mailed that letter for you; sure I fed the fish; etc.). Therefore, do not ask a question if you do not truly want to know the answer. Especially when it comes to the good stuff ~ sexuality, politics, sports, religion, etc. I will answer politely, but I won't just tell you what you want to hear.

5) I have a Bachelor of Science in Fisheries Biology, and I haven't used it in 15 years (had one related job, shortly after college). Realized early on that any job I got with that degree would probably not be family friendly. Zoos, etc. tend to be open year-round, including holidays and weekends. Other positions can require a lot of time in the field, and possibly very odd hours. However, now that the kids are older, I've been thinking about looking into it again.

6) Although I don't 'believe' in horoscopes, etc., I do believe they can get you thinking about and examining your life. That said, I did once have my horoscope done by an online company, and it was actually a little frightening how true it was. All I gave was my first name, birthdate, birthtime, and where I was born. Haven't ever gone back and reread it ~~ maybe I should.

7) I am somewhat of a packrat and hoarder. Drives my husband nuts, and also me. I just am not good at getting things sorted through with any immediacy. So magazines and such pile up. I am trying to get better ~~ not bringing so much into the house in the first place, and trying to regularly go through what is already here, organizing and throwing away. It's a long and drawn out process.

8) I am a loner. I unfortunately do not do the friend thing very well. It's not that I don't like people, or can't be friendly, or don't want friends, or don't ever think about friends... I just, well, I'm shy so I don't put myself out there, and I get pulled in so many ways that I often just shut down with anything that requires more effort. I'll get emails, etc., and I mean to respond, but before I know it, a month or more has gone by. It's probably why I like Twitter, Facebook and Blogging so much ~~ I can be involved, knowing what's going on and sharing from my life, without the constant back and forth. It's easier to pull back and take a break. And because of the whole shyness thing, I don't do well in public situations ~~ parties and such. I can't just go by myself ~~ I usually end up in the corner by myself. It's another aspect of my life I want to change, but it's difficult (beyond the above stated reasons) ~~ I'm working on it.

9) I must have one of those faces or personalities that make people, sometimes complete strangers, feel it's okay to share private things with me. Not necessarily secret, can't share with anyone, just private and very personal. Drs telling me about patients (no names), co-workers telling me about their sex lives, strangers telling me about their labor and delivery, and so on. I don't mind, it's just ... interesting? amusing? I do feel that I am pretty empathetic/empathic and maybe people pick up on that...

10) I was 21 when I first had sex. Came close in high school, nothing even close during my first 4 years in college. I was more than ready. I knew whoever the next boyfriend was, he would be the one. He was younger, experienced, made it a wonderful experience for me, introduced my to porn (visual and written), a variety of positions, anal sex, vibrators, oral, fun sex, serious sex... Looking back, I can see he was a dominant personality. If only I had been able to figure things out then... In my fantasies, I do it all. I love sex and wish I had it more often (daily, anyone?). I want to be more adventurous, try more things.... I know I love being dominated, in and out of the bedroom. Bind me, spank me, slap me, tell me what to do, when to do it, how to do it... and I'll be one happy, happy girl.

Now, I am not going to tag anyone. Take it upon yourself to do this meme if you want to. And if my ten things created questions in your mind, please feel free to ask me (email, comment, Twitter). It may take me a while, but I will answer.

Thanks, Pink Poppet. I really had to think hard to come up with 10 things. I hope people find them interesting.

A month? A whole freakin' month? What the ___? Seriously. I can't believe it.

Okay, okay, on some level I can as I am just worn out, and after spending all day working on the computer, coming home and doing more computer work doesn't exactly appeal. And the Hub can have issues with me spending any time doing anything that he feels pulls my attention away from him ~~ computer, iPhone, reading, TV (unless he also wants to watch the same thing). Of course, if he wants to do these things and ignore me, then it's ok. Anyway, to keep the peace, I tend to keep away from those activities.

But I didn't mean to do it for a whole month.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intimacy around here, of any sort, has been pretty hit-or-miss around here lately, with it mostly being "miss" (I would definitely prefer more "hits", especially of the spanking kind). Between his travel, general stresses and kid issues, just very hard to find the energy, even if there is the desire.

We don't do "sexting" but here's a recent text:

DH: I just landed safely
Me: Ok. Fish are fed, house is locked, everyone's in bed
DH: I know we did not have sex before I left feel free to use your toy or you probably using it right now
Me: Not in the mood

In retrospective, my response should have been a little nicer, maybe including a "thank you for thinking of my needs" sort of thing... But it was late and PMS tends to shut down the niceness center of my brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our trip out to LA was really good, but definitely deserves a post of it's own. Just need to add that to the list

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Work is work. Still in the old facility. At some point I'm sure they'll ask me to start coming into corp, but not yet. I've been told they've figured out which cubicle will be mine, but it's not ready for me yet. Really not looking forward to the changes.

Kids head back to school in less than a month. Still have to get the registration done for the oldest 2. Yeah, more expenses.

OC gets her braces off next month. MC gets assessed in November, so we'll have at least a few months when we won't have to make the trek to the orthodontist.

YC lost a tooth today.

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The good summer TV shows have started (or are about to):

• Eureka
• Torchwood
• Dr. Who
• Monk
• Psych

Primeval is about to end, darn. But Syfy has added a new show, Warehouse 13, that's looking pretty good. And Being Human, a new show, is about to start on BBC America.

MC and I tend to like the same shows, so we watch and then discuss.

Better Off Ted is a funny show on the regular networks. Even got DH to watch it. Well written, witty. I much prefer witty to slapstick and toilet humor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just finished reading "Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince." I was only halfway through when we went to see the movie. Can I just state that I was very disappointed in the movie. I understand having to leave bits out when you're translating a 600 page book for the screen, but to completely create, out of the blue, entire scenes? Really? This was necessary? I think not. Made it very difficult to watch the movie; not able to suspend disbelief until I got past the point I'd read. It was an okay movie, but so different from the book. I hope they do better with Deathly Hallows (which I am reading now).

Going to read "The Time Traveler's Wife" next, then decide if I want to see the movie. The trailers look good, but you never know.

Really want to see "The Ugly Truth". Was planning to go, by myself, this weekend. DH was supposed to still be traveling, so I could get away with it, but now he's coming home on Friday. And I honestly can't see him being willing to go see this with me. A) Not generally his type of movie; B) Gerard Butler is in it. DH has issues with me thinking Gerard Butler is attractive. He is, and I'm not the only person in the world who thinks so. And why it bothers DH so much, I don't know. It doesn't seem to bother him if I comment that I think someone else is attractive, just Gerard Butler. *sigh* And they say women are complex. So don't know when, or even if, I'll get out to see it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there's a wee bit of an update. Nothing exciting, but that's just the way it is right now.

Orgasm meme from vanimp

From vanimps blog http://vanillaimpaired.com/

1. What’s your favourite way to have an orgasm?
Any way I can. Seriously, it really does depend on mood and circumstances. Sometimes I want to be by myself, sometimes I want someone else involved.
2. Do you use a sex toy? Hands? or both?
Both, though not usually at the same time. At work, in the car, it's my hand. At home if I want to make it quick, again it's my hand, but if I'm looking for intense and drawn out, I'll bring out the toys. Especially the Hitachi.
3. Do you have a favourite time of day or night that you like to pleasure yourself or have sex?
My horniness has no time restraints. Sometimes it's morning, somtimes afternoon, sometimes in the middle of the night.

4. Do you feel you have different types of orgasms?
Definitely. DH usually starts things out by making sure I have a clitoral orgasm. When he goes down on me, I get internal and external attention, usually leading to at least a g-spot orgasm. And usually if we go straight to intercourse, even if I orgasm multiple times, I have to finish up with a clitoral or I don't feel completely done. Sometimes I take care of this myself, sometimes DH will.

5. Do you have a position or a technique that always guarantees an orgasm?
Nope. I can achieve it standing, sitting, on my back, on my side, on my stomach, up on all fours. Haven't tried upside, but that would probably work too.
6. Is having your clit directly stimulated pleasurable for you? What about after an orgasm?
Um, around it, Oh yes. Right on the tip, generally too intense.
My entire body is a wee bit too sensitive for me right after orgasm for me to be touched anywhere, let alone there. Give me a minute or so...
7. Do you masturbate/pleasure yourself?
Yep, frequently.

8. Has your self pleasuring repertoire/routine/technique changed or evolved over time?
Basics stay the same, but different toys, locations, desires for the session lead to different techniques.

9. Are sex toys part of your self pleasuring or with a partner? Or both?
I use toys on myself, and DH uses toys on me, and DH sometimes watches me using my toys.
10. If you enjoy using sex toys how often do you upgrade your equipment?
Infrequently, mainly due to cost. The good ones tend to be things I need to plan ahead a save for. Right now I'm pretty much on a replacement only program.
11. Whats the most intense orgasm you have ever had?
It was during anal, after I'd already come once through DH's manual manipulations, then multiple times during intercourse.
12. How often do you orgasm? Daily, more than once a day, weekly, monthly….???
Average 6-8 times a week, through masturbation and intercourse. Sometimes multiple times a day.
13. Do you regard orgasm to be a stress reliever?
Can be. Especially when it's the middle if the night and I can't sleep.
14. What happens to you after orgasm? Full of energy, a bit lala or ready to go to sleep?
Depends on how I was before the orgasm.
15. Have you ever squirted?
Yep.
16. Do you fantasize when you masturbate? Or do you just get right down to it?
Oh, yes. Although, sometimes, just reaching down and starting the touching will get things started, and then I'll start fantasizing.

17. What do you like about having an orgasm? Is it important you have an orgasm every time?
Um, what's not to like? It feels sooooooo darn good, inside and out.
If I'm masturbating, or DH is masturbating me, then yes it's important that I orgasm. During intercourse, it's fabulous if it happens, but if everything else about the sex is great, it's just the icing on the cake -- good but not necessary.


*hugs*
Robin

Getting to Know You

Getting to know you (found over on Subhearts blog)

Here’s what you’re supposed to do and try not to spoil the fun. Copy this entire post and paste into a new one that you can post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then tag anyone you want.

Be sure to link back to me too! I want to see your answers!

1. What is your occupation?
Technically, analyst, but seems more like jill-of-all-trades
2. What color are your socks right now?
Not wearing any at the moment
3. What are you listening to right now?
The Mentalist (tivo'd)
4. Can you drive a stick shift?
I think I remember how ~~ it is how I learned to drive
5. What was the last thing you ate?
pizza

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Emerald green
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My hubby (he's travelling for work, again)
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Well, I don't know her personally, but I do enjoy her blog and tweets :)
9. How old are you today?
Just turned 42 and a half this month
10. Favorite drink?
Other than water? Dr. Pepper ~ regular, diet, cherry, cherry vanilla, etc.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
If I'm watching sports, it's not by my choice
12. Have you ever colored your hair?
Yes, frequently since college
13 What is your full name?
Now, come on, you don't really expect me to tell you that
14. Favorite food?
Hmmm, I think Mexican would have to top the list
15. Last movie you watched?
Up
16. Favorite Day of the year?
Any day I get to spend on my own, no work, no kids, no hubby, etc.
17. What do you do to vent anger?
Stew/sulk and clean house.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I don't really remember a lot of toys ~~ I do remember doing a lot of building with Lincoln Logs, blocks, LEGOS...
19. What is your favorite season?

Spring and fall (I can't pick just one)
20. Hugs or kisses?
Both, both, both
21. Cherry or Blueberry?
Cherry all the way ~~ this was the one thing I craved during all 3 pregnancies
22. Do you want your friends to post back?
Only if they want to ~~ absolutely no pressure
23. Who is most likely to respond?
?
24. Who is least likely to respond?
?
26. When was the last time you cried?
Really wept ~ a while ago; got teary ~~ last week
27. What is on the floor of your closet?
OMG. Trust me, you don't really want to know (hell, I don't really want to know)
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
Really doesn't apply as I'm not really sending this to anyone
29. Favorite smells?
Vanilla, various florals (carnation, rose, honeysuckle, frangipani, etc.), new rain, fresh mown grass, the seashore
31. Inspires You?

Anything/everything ~~ nature, people, music, the written word, art, etc.
32. What are you afraid of?
Ending up alone and destitute
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Fully loaded (like I can get from 5 Guys)
34. Favorite car?
Whatever works, although I'm partial to SUVS and trucks as I can see farther
35. Favorite cat breed?
Any (except for maybe the hairless ones, they look so alien)
36. Number of keys on your key ring?
3
37. How many years at your current job?
5 and a half with the company, 4 in my current position
38. Favorite day of the week?
Probably Sunday, as it tends to be the most relaxed
39. How many states have you lived in?
6
40. How many countries have you lived in?
2 (but I've visited 13)

I'm not going to tag anyone ~~ just do it if you want to.

And feel free to comment or question my responses.

Just catching up...

Been a lot going on lately, in my mind anyway :)

Kids are out of school, so driving me a little crazy on the days I work from home.

New kitten also drives me crazy, walking all over my computer(s) and papers, chewing on and ripping papers and cords. But he's so cute.... [Please stand by while I upload some pics from my camera and iPhone... *Jeopardy music plays*]





















Adorable, isn't he? DH has named him Caesar (although sometimes it sounds like he's calling him Scissor *laugh*). And yes, that is my bare shoulder in that one shot.

**Work ~~ well, as I mentioned in my last post, is difficult. My boss was out on Tuesday, teaching me some new responsibilities, going over the past year performance (hard to do since he's only been my boss a few months, and last year's boss is gone), and coming up with goals for the rest of this year into next. It's difficult to explain all this without giving too much information... In short, the system change last year was not well implemented, particularly for my department. People apparently did not think it was too important to make sure everything was set up on time and properly. Consequently, here we are almost a year later, still struggling and so far behind that it's hard to imagine ever being caught up. But now that I know how to do a few more things, maybe, just maybe, things will get better. Also, we discussed my work schedule once I am moved to HQ ~~ I will continue with at least 2 days per week working from home, and my hours will in office will be flexible. I'm hoping it works out ~~ seems pretty apparent that they really, really don't want me to leave. DH is really pushing me to try and find something closer to home, but I do want to see how this works out. I just dread the process of finding, getting and starting a new job.

**Our anniversary ~~ We went out for a late dinner Saturday night. I semi dressed up ~~ corset with garters and stockings under a cardigan and jeans (kitty tried to help, attacking corset ties and garters). For fun, I applied edible body glitter: chest, back, backside, frontside :D (you get the idea). DH noticed while at dinner, wanting to know if I was trying to get everyone to look at my "boobs". "Only you," I replied. To which he replied that he didn't need any help noticing my boobs, or any other part of my body. Got home, snuggled and touched while waiting for the kids to head to bed. Then had all sorts of good fun. I won't bore you with the details :P

Then Monday, the actual date of our anniversary, DH called to wish me a happy anniversary after he got to work. He complained that I didn't say it to him when he left, but I was mostly asleep then. Woke up just enough to lean across the bed for our standard good-bye kiss. He brought me a card when he came home ~~ full of nice sentiment about how even when things get hard we stick together:

A happy marriage
is what happens
while two good people
are busy
trying to make it through
another year of
paying their bills,
running their errands,
doing their chores,
keeping sight of their dreams
and, somehow,
always finding the time
to show how much they care.

Our life is pretty busy,
and I may not always say
everything that comes
into my mind and heart each day,
but what really matters in my world
is that we are together,
and h0wever busy life may get,
I don't forget that... ever.

Monday was very busy and I didn't get a chance to get anything for him, so I dressed up special for him that night. Unfortunately, an issue arose with our son and all my plans were thrown straight out the window.

So, all in all, it wasn't a bad anniversary :/

**The DUI ~~ DH's license will be suspended for a month starting the 24th. Fortunately, he's been able to arrange his work travel so he will be out of town for most of that period. When he's here, he's got to make other arrangements to get around. Once the suspension is over, he'll have a machine installed in his car that will test his blood alcohol level before it will allow the car to start. I will need to do the driving when we go out as a family, but he'll be able to drive himself around in his own car. Of course, all this means I will be the one doing all the driving when we head out to Los Angeles for the 4th of July. I won't like it, but I'll be fine. It was cute, however, when on Thursday DH called to apologize for all the trouble his DUI is causing me.

** DH has ordered himself a new laptop and bought a new color printer with it. Yeah! Been wanting to get one for a long while, but just hadn't gotten around to it. And, surprise, surprise, he seems to have actually picked out a good one: scanner, printer, copier, fax; photos in multiple sizes; wireless. Did a test print of a photo on regular paper and it came out really good. I have high hopes. (Last time he was all excited about the printer he got, it was not color, toner could only be purchased from the manufacturer, and cost an arm and a leg).

Can't believe June is half over. Looking forward to the long weekend around the 4th ~~ my sister and her family are supposed to meet us for a day in Disneyland. Can't wait. No, seriously. I love Disneyland. We used to go quite often when we lived in SoCal. YC has no memories of it; she was 1 when we moved away, and only 3 or 4 when we last visited. And at 8, she is tall enough for all the rides. I do realize it will be hot and busy, but we'll survive ~~ I'll coat myself in SPF 100+, wear a hat, drink lots of water.... Someday, maybe we'll make it to DisneyWorld...

Hope everyone out there is enjoying June ~~ whether it's your spring or your fall :)

So, How Ya Doin'?

Please don't ask unless you really want to know...

Ok, you've been warned.

I am...
Bleh.

Yep, bleh. I am tired, physically, mentally & emotionally. I am achy all over (5th headachy day in a row). Tired of being congested. Tired of having to watch every penny. Tired of having to deal with the same crap day after day. Tired of my sucky life... Basically pretty darn miserable all 'round.

Tired of being the person 'they' all run to when they need something (done, fixed, bought, etc.). Yes, it's nice to know you're needed, but really, I'm to believe there is no one else, anywhere, who could also take of whatever? Right.

Work stresses -- still understaffed, underpaid, and overburdened. My piles never get any smaller, no matter how much I do. Oh, and they're closing the facility where I work, and transitioning my position to HQ, more than doubling my commute. But because the two places are less than 50 miles apart, I'm not eligible for severance. So it's either move to HQ or quit. My boss did emphasize that they don't want to lose me and will be flexible with my schedule so I won't need to be there everyday... But still, it's easily a 2hr drive one way. We'll just have to see. If I stay through the end of the year I will get a special bonus.

And DH-- where to start, what to say. Can't help but think that everyone must be tired of hearing about our ups and downs. I know I'm tired of living through/with them. Long story short, May 24 he pulled a "Mr. Hyde" again, left and didn't come home until mid-afternoon Monday. And continued to behave poorly and blame everything on everyone else (mainly me). He has continued to be pissy with everyone, but especially our son. He's only making nice with me, so it seems, because he's been horny and wanting some action. I let him have his way last night, but I was so not into it, emotionally especially.

And you know what's on Monday? Our 16th wedding anniversary. I saw the reminder pop up and was not thrilled. In your mind, try to hear me so "oh god" in a "I am not happy about this at all" tone of voice. Seriously, I went over his schedule in my mind, hoping he'd be out of town (no luck as he still has DUI stuff he's dealing with), then hoped that if I said nothing, he'd forget and I wouldn't have to deal with it or face it. No such luck. He has remembered and is now planning our night out.

I want to cry every time I hear "Her Diamonds" by Rob Thomas. Go look up the lyrics - I think you'll understand why. (I can't copy and paste on this).

I don't know what the answer is, although a week or so of solitude sounds very appealing. Unfortunately, that's unaffordable, on so many levels. So, I'll just continue as I am, slogging through everyday, hoping things/I get better.

Although, you know, just getting all this out, I feel a little less burdened.



-- From My iPhone

DH in trouble cont.

So it's now Saturday night, and I'm just exhausted. Along with the early morning activity, I'd also had insomnia the night before, and been battling a cold/sinus problem for the previous week -- all leaving me just wiped. DH had napped during the afternoon/early evening, so he was refreshed and watching sports.

I thought the perfect thing before bed would be a relaxing bath. And since we'd just gotten the second water heater fixed, I could be fairly certain it would be a nice hot one. So about 11pm I climbed into my nice hot tub, dropped in a Lush Tisty Tosty and a bit of French Kiss bubble bar, put in my earphones, opened my book and relaxed. The rose, lavender and vanilla from the Lush bath goodies were perfect for relaxing. I also kept the iPod on a milder playlist ~~ I so desperately needed relaxation.

I will say I was surprised that DH didn't come in and join me, as he usually does, but it was okay that he didn't.

I stayed in for the better part of an hour, then clambered out, dried off, slipped into my robe and headed into the bedroom. I was so tired, I really didn't even completely dry myself off, nor apply any lotion, or even put any clothing on. When DH commented on my lack of apparel, my honest answer was it was just too much work to put anything on.

Even though DH was involved with watching the game, it didn't take him long to let me know he had other things on his mind. We watched the end of the game (yeah our team!) then switched to SNL (recorded) while snuggling. DH threw the covers off me and announced that he thought he'd like to go down on me. Like I was going to object to that :P. And down he went. Can I just say that DH has gotten much better at this over the years. I don't easy orgasm from oral, but with the right combination of lips, tongue and movement of inserted fingers, oh yeah.

Then it was my turn to reciprocate, lavishing oral attention on him. Until he can't take it anymore and orders me up on the bed. And you all know what happens then ~~ S-E-X. Sweaty, pounding, multi-orgasmic (for me, anyway) sex.

And as I lay there in the afterglow, sometime after 1am, DH turned to me and said, "Happy Mother's Day". With a big grin on his face.

*******************************************

Sunday dawned and while DH himself couldn't sleep and was up at 6am, he let me sleep in. Which I did, 'til about 9am, watched TV for awhile, then couldn't take it anymore, got up and got dressed. Even with it being Mother's Day, I still had laundry to do, and I wanted to get it done and over with.

As I was working on things, the kids came filing in with a card. I hugged them all, even MC who attempted to avoid me.

DH came up soon after, looking for some more "action". No way I could turn him down. (Let's see, Friday morning, Sat. night/Sun. morning, and Sun. afternoon ~~ goodness.)

YC made the cutest gift for me. It was made to look like a Time magazine, with Mother of the Year on the front (she even drew me with my blue FitFlops on). Inside, the kids were given prompts and then they filled in the rest. I just have to share. Her comments are in italics.

• My favorite thing to do with Mom is... snuggle with her at night [this is a must every night before bed] ~~ decorated with a hand held bouquet and the caption "I picked flowers for you"
• My mom doesn't even get mad when I... don't clean my room. [only because I get too tired just looking it at]
• I like it when Mom... hugs me. Decorated with a wrapped packaged tagged To Mom, From YC
• Ihave the most fun with Mom when... we play a game on the computer [we like picture searches and puzzles]
• My favorite food that Mom cooks is... cashew chicken because she puts in extra veggies [I'm just trying to stretch it and make it a bit healthier, but if she really likes that...] Decorated with a heart with "I love you Mom" written on it.
• My mom makes me laugh when... tickles me when I have the hicups and she tries to get them to go away. [And even though she begs me to stop, as soon as I do, she wants me to tickle her some more]
• I love my mom because... she cooks for me. [Um, yeah, really not that often or that well, but I will do her favorites]
• My mom makes me feel special when... she does something just for me. [She's my baby, of course I love doing things just for her] Decorated by a "Mom on board" sign
• My mom took good care of me when... I was sick last November. [It was election week and she missed 3 out of 4 school days, and I took her to the dr. and helped her take her meds and use the inhaler, and let her snuggle and sleep with me.]
• My favorite book that Mom reads is... There's a Monster at the End of this Book [used to read this too her all the time, funny Grover voice and all] Decorated with a drawing of the cover of the book.
• My mom is special because... she loves every single person in my family even my anoying brother [aahhh, that's my sweet baby]

So it was a relaxing afternoon, and then the kids and I decided to go out. DH was tired and stressed, so he stayed home while I took the kids out to grab a quick bite and then do a little shopping so DH could cook dinner. Yummy keema with potatoes, lentils and kebabs. And then the kids had to clean up.

All in all, a very nice Mother's Day.